A Pronouncement


"I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever." 

Hin-mah-too-yah-lat-kekt (Thunder Rolling Down the Mountain) 

Right, so you're all fed up with me 'moaning' about life as a resident of St. Ives. Fair enough. Frankly, I'm sick of trying to persuade those who will not see that there is more to the place than the picture postcard perfect image that the unthinking visitor wants to cherish.

I would like to point out that my opinions have been based on personal experience backed up with a few facts and figures gleaned from the local press. No one else seems to have reached their alternative conclusions by the same process. Still, we live in a quasi-democracy and, on the basis, that I am badly outnumbered I shall bow to your superior force and henceforth try to the best of my abilities never to say anything which might upset your rose-tinted view of the place.

So, for the record (also available on CD and cassette) I would just like to say that tourists are the greatest thing that has ever happened to St. Ives and our pathetic existences would be meaningless without the manifest benefits that the visitors bring.

Henceforth, only glowing reports will be promulgated for the amusement of our superiors. There will be no news if it is not good news and only e-mails pertinent to St. Ives will manifest themselves upon the site. In that connection, I am looking for volunteers to edit and censor all future submissions, which shouldn't be a problem given the number of you out there who know better. In the meantime, please feel free to submit your own reports, reviews and reminiscences on the Joy Of Tourism.

Now, if you will excuse me, I shall just buff up the roses growing on my thatched cottage before I sing and skip my way into Rainbow Town for another day of peace, happiness and adventure with the pixie people. Who knows, maybe we will have visitors to Magic Land today.

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