Apres Moi La Deluge

Helen Bristol

11 November 2002 17:56

Queen Vic [See Home Comforts]

Have you abdicated yet?
Off to a Body Shop party tonight.  Can't decide whether to go for the Zeibarting or a paint job, or even valetting - no perhaps not. Don't want it splashed all over the tabloids.
Not quite the same excitement as an AS party but might be a bit of fun.  Himself will be staying to cat-sit.

Vile Jelly

11 November 2002 18:43

Sounds intriguing Is it the Anita Roddick or the Burke & Hare sort of body shop?
I had to cat-sit for the wrinklies recently while they sunned themselves abroad. I was useless at it. They moved too fast for me to satisfactorily deposit my posterior on them. However, my obvious inability to discipline them did result in them leaving a few posterior deposits to greet my bleary-eyed arrival to feed them shortly before starting a crack-of-dawn breakfast shift.
Now, you don't get the Reporting Team behaving like that, do you? OK, so they are late coming back from the pub a lot of the time but they never make a mess and feed themselves.

Helen Bristol

12 November 2002 18:02

Don't know what went on while I was out. Oh, Anita Roddick., by the way. Maybe they had a boys night in. The cat was almost kittenish when I got back. As for Andrew ...........well.
Only met 2 of the Reporting Team so far.

Vile Jelly

12 November 2002 22:04

The mind boggles ..... and the censors have a blue (pen) fit at the nature of that boggling! I don't think I'll sleep easily tonight. Or, possibly, ever again.
You can meet the rest of the Reporting Team if you want to (just remember to bring them lots of tasty titbits). Where are you staying if you come down? If you haven't got anything lined up the wrinklies might let you stay chez Reporting Team at a vaguely reasonable price (mercenary so-and-sos but I suppose it is their house I occupy a small corner of).
I'll leave you to resuscitate the cat, now, while I wait anxiously curtain-twitching at the window waiting for the Team to get back from the pub.

Helen Bristol

13 November 2002 15:09

Thanks for the generous offer, but we are staying with the clay slinger and Janet (give us a twirl). 
Yet again the Tornados are busy defending Harleston.  Not much here to protect though.  Most of the Waveney valley is flooded but then that's what a flood plain is for.  Pity the planners don't understand that. Probably did a different sort of geography at skool. (you see what spell check comes up with for Harleston!)
Cat has regained his equilibrium.

Vile Jelly

13 November 2002 15:27

Oh dear, Trevor will probably think I am trying to pinch his customers! Never mind, it was just a thought since you'd stayed elsewhere last time you were down (forgot T&J were in Greece at the time).
Funny you should mention tornadoes defending your realm, they're busy ripping St. Ives apart at the minute. Worst period of weather I can remember for quite a while. When are you down 'cos it's a snorkel and flippers job here at the minute. I'm just drying out after coming off shift and not looking forward to getting soaked again when I go back on shift in an hour!
How did the cat regain its equilibrium? I thought after they'd made the fateful trip to the vets that was it.

Helen Bristol

13 November 2002 16:41

Re: Water, water everywhere

Gracious no! Trevor wouldn't think that, but we are looking forward to the comforts of their delightful home and cooking.  I'm not a great one for hotel life.
I'll remember to pack the snorkel and wellies. Don't mind the wet so long as its warm - how unlike our own dear climate. Seriously considered forgoing the shower this a.m. to just stand out in the garden with my bottle of shower gel, saving water to save the planet.  Neighbours might have complained though. Garden fairly secluded (unless they lean out of windows) moreso when the trees are in full leaf.
Taslovitch, for that is his name, had long lost his bits when we acquired him.  My neighbours very fluffy female cat flirts outrageously with him, probably only because she knows she's safe. Perhaps THAT was why he was so frisky when I got back with my new body the other night.

Vile Jelly

13 November 2002 21:23

Taslovitch? Now, there's a traditional East Anglian name. Or maybe from a bit further east than anglia. Hope the americans don't find out or they might send a few F18s to investigate with a few tons of high explosive ordnance.
How's the new body? Is it ready and prepared for the mind swap with Andrew? What model did you go for? Colin Firth or Antonio Banderas? Have you arranged for the council to take away Andrew's old bod once the transplant is completed?
The establishment scientists called you mad, the fools, but you'll show them. Bwahahaha!

Helen Bristol

14 November 2002 18:06

I heard the news today, oh boy - Tornados, Hurricanos and Waterspouts.  Heard St. Ives got flooded, made the Toady programme. I guess up the Stennack you were OK? Is the Sloop in danger of capsizing? Quick rescue all the Doom Bar or Andrew will need sedatives.
The F18s already investigate our house. The Stealth Bomber might be quieter. 
Taslovitch? I think he came from Norwich but might have been further east at Happisburgh.
I'm more a George Clooney person myself, or possibly Sean Connery.  Not many other people make my toes curl!  Can't really image either of them with Andrew's mind. And what would I do with the mind of the body donor.  Got it, I could increase the average intelligence level of Lowestoft by 110%.  The discarded bod would be recycled, don't want to be wasteful.
Not only them.  It's all those years in psychiatric hospitals!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vile Jelly

14 November 2002 18:34

Still no Doom Bar at the Sloop (although the Campaign for Real Doom Bar, i.e. moi, could be making progress). House has escaped the ravages of THE GREAT FLOOD but, unfortunately, so did the Sloop kitchen so have been incarcerated in the (soggy) slave pits today trying to cook food without a cooker.
Despite this (a la Hitler late 1944) the management insist on fighting on. I've got to paddle my canoe down to the Sloop tomorrow to do breakfast and lunch. Consequently like Noah, I am in a nark!

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