The First Knives Club

Andrew Macdonald

04 January 2003 13:41


Global shmobal.  You don't want some namby-pamby girly Japanese knife, you want a proper great big Wusthof. That way you can slice, dice , chiffonade, and invade Poland, quite possibly all at the same time.
Ah, the luncheon gong, must go.  Helen is making soup, but I shall venture no remarks about dragons at this stage, I think. 
PS.  Good to hear SSI might be back.  There's quite a lot of fairly useful stuff at if you haven't already had a look.  Suppose that means somebody's going to have to stump up a prize for Janet Bentley, better get the engravers working on it.
PPS.  What the hell is chiffonading? 
PPPS.  Yup, it snowed last night.

Vile Jelly

04 January 2003 14:18

Ah but with Globals you can cut through tough substances like a hot knife through allied POW's and still have time to bomb Pearl Harbour!
Had a dive into those 'how to do it' sites in various places. The trouble with most of them is that they either assume you know what you are doing or are starting from scratch. As I am in neither category I have yet to glean any info pertinent to the black blobs problem. Anyway I've done a bodge which seems to have got round the problem.
No idea what chiffonading is. The problem is that it seems to be an obscure matter of pride that chefs (college tutor included) never pronounce any (of the mostly french) technical terms correctly. Sometimes I haven't got the slightest clue what they are blathering on about. I presume it is something to do with the 'if you can't blind them with science, baffle them with bullshit' principle.
PS. Weather here increasingly perking up (it piddled down on new year's heave) as the emmets increasingly bugger off back to work. Surely conclusive proof that god is a St. Ivean!

Andrew Macdonald

04 January 2003 20:38

If god was an Ian, would there be a new year's heave in St Hia's?
Still snowing.
How's the luck of the Corsers, meat draw wise?

Vile Jelly

04 January 2003 21:26

No, I suppose not.
Colder than a penguin's bum here but sky clear.
Trevor didn't even make it to the meat draw yesterday as he is full of flu. I'm not in much better condition myself. Went last night but didn't enjoy it much. Didn't win anything either.
Roll on the afterlife!

Andrew Macdonald

06 January 2003 18:21

Hope you're feeling recovered by now and the hoards have retired to leave you all in peace for a bit. Trevor told me about the two ladies who came into the pottery and said they were staying at Sloop for a quiet New Year.  Weren't from Lincolnshire were they?
Penguin's frozen to the iceberg here.
Saw your comment to herself about a local businessman wondering if New Year was really worth it what with all the damage and that.  I couldn't help wondering what they'll do if the idea catches on; probably form the St Hia's Pastymen's Club (bit like the Dallas Oilmen's Club or the bad guys in Heaven's Gate, but with more pastry), round up the vigilantes, declare martial law from Boxing day to 2nd Jan and go after anybody found wearing a paper hat.  Or a seagull suit. 

Vile Jelly

06 January 2003 22:07

How the devil did you get wind of that? We thought the vigilantes meeting was a closely guarded secret.
Actually, from what Trevor and other locals said/did on new year's eve I suspect that it is rapidly getting like Passover. And lo, on 31 December all those of the true St. Ives faith shall lock themselves in their houses and pray fervently that they wake up in one piece tomorrow.
Don't worry though, we'll keep a spare place for you should you be caught out in the open when the Angel of Death roams the glass-strewn, puke-ridden streets of St. Ives.

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