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[Continued from Fur And Feathers] Helen Bristol 17 January 2003 18:29 Re: Congerats
Soupie,
I knew I could trust you! but how did Alfie come into it?
You know how it is with the boys (RT & VJ)? They think that you
know what they're thinking just because they have thought it. What am
I supposed to be - telepathetic? It's been will he/won't he with No2 son
dithering about coming from up t'north to visit his dear old mum. Now you know
that I had plans for the weekend? Well, he will. No2 son that is not Big
Mac. So he's arriving (205 permitting) tomorrow. It'll be just like the days
of yore when I was the only female in the household. But you know
all about that. Never mind there's always another weekend - it'll
give me more time to build up the stamina.
Cooking rosta's completely up the spout this week so Big Mac is on duty
tonight. Where's the corkscrew? Just going to put my feet up and relax.
Luv
Helling
Soup Dragon 17 January 2003 18:48
Helling, dear,
Fret ye not.
I know what it is like to be beset by male stereotypes. The number of times I
was interrupted in the Soup Mine by young knights wanting to slay their first
dragon ...
... well, after I'd laughed contemptuously at the size of their lance they
didn't feel quite so bold I can tell you!
PS. I'm not the only female you know. Giftig is a giant rattlesnake-ess (she's
curled up with Orm and they have a coral snake, Bertie, to look after now) and
I have a daughter, Miss Mini Soup Dragon. Unfortunately, she hangs out a lot
of the time with the Reporting Team so I am starting to worry ...
PPS. In case your wondering (hem, hem) she is a foundling. There's not many
people who can correctly identify a dragon egg but fortunately VJ was on the
ball (for once) and rescued it from the resis breakfast menu before the evil
deed was done. So, I am a hatch-mother rather than a direct parent. Still, one
must look after one's own kind.
PPPS. Have you any idea how rare dragons are these days? I was shocked when I
saw the figures but you don't see an RSPD collecting funds for the needy, do
you?
Helen Bristol 19 January 2003 16:17
Soupie,
I am disturbed (people always said so) by the rarity of your species. Are you
in contact with Lady Sybil? I believe she breeds several varieties of
Dragon. Perhaps the RSPB could be persuaded to extend their activities
to all flying creatures ( RSPDB&B). They seem to put up nest boxes
for birds, roost boxes for bats, why not something similar for dragons?
Interesting that you, like me have (part of) a brood for whom you are the
hatch-mother not the direct parent. They still feel like your own though when
you've gone through all the parenting traumas. I can sympathise with
your concerns about Miss Mini and the RT, young turks might try to get in some
practise with their lances.
Talking of youngsters - he didn't. Not Big Mac, I mean No 2 son. The 205
had a flat battery!!!!!! - but can't say anything because females
don't know a thing about the internal combustion engine? Except of
course that they need fuel and a non-dead battery.
Still - every cloud has a silver lining ( with the exception of those that I
am looking at out of the window ), back to Plan A for the weekend.
Feeling absolutely kna - exhausted now. Added to which I can
hardly move 'cos I've pulled my back again. I really will have to find
an alternative way of washing the kitchen floor! We didn't do everything
I had planned but you have to make allowances for Big Mac at his age....
Oh, and, I think Big Mac is trying to impress you - he's souping again.
He thinks I don't notice these things...... woman hath no fury like a
Helling scorned!
Soup Dragon 19 January 2003 17:33
'Lo 'Ling,
It is I, Soupie,
Had a hard day down the soup mines ..... hit an unexpected vein of alcohol so
was forced to suck it all out to prevent flooding. (It's tough, I know, but
that's what it's like when you're managing your own mine workings).
Fortunately, just when I thought I was struggling the boys from the RT turned
up. I must admit I thought the end was nigh in the face of the seemingly
endless flood but the RT blokes started talking about footie, rugger, krikkit,
VJ's embarrassing personal problems, etc. and you can't believe how much
alcohol was consumed in the process!
I always knew they'd come up trumps when push came to shove.
PS. VJ says he has got complete symphony with the state of your back. Someone
once asked him why he had so many cuts and burns from working in the slave
pits. He replied, "It takes my mind off the back pain".
We heartily suggest that you cuddle up with hedgehogs, sheep, flat people,
dragons and other quality people ..... oh, and a large vat of some sort of
alcoholic restorative!
Helen Bristol 19 January 2003 17:54
The cuddling up with and the anaesthetic and calming effects of alkol sound
good to me except I'm supposed to be at a (yawn, yawn) meeting at 8.30 ack
emma.
Always thought you could rely on the RT, you hadn't inadvertently mined into
Smeatons Beer had you? Can't imagine SI being awash with booze!!
Nearly 6 o'clock so I'll go and get Big Mac to crack open a bottle of
something, daren't try myself, the effort of pulling the cork could do untold
damage to me already weak parts.
Soup Dragon 19 January 2003 18:25
I heartily suggest that you embrace the cuddly/shlobbleobbley scenario. Sounds
like you are in need of it.
If you are having trouble with weak parts, I can only recommend the use of
scales and fire-breathing. Believe me, the scales have defended me against the
slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (and knaughty knights) and the latter
has saved me a lot of grief (and comes in handy when the bath water starts
going tepid!)
Helen Bristol 20 January 2003 16:17 Thanksh
Yes Soupie I needed the "tonic" - not that it picked me up and
dusted me off, quite the reverse. Do you ever have those days when you know as
soon as the cat wakes you up that you really shouldn't get out of bed?
Today was such a day. That meeting? Wasn't until 9.30. After that
I really couldn't be bothered to get my thoughts together in any coherent way
so I went home.
The meteorological things don't help much either, wet, cold, windy -
(No not Big Mac, though you'd need on if it stays like this) anyone would
think it was the middle of winter. BUT the days are getting longer.
The warm bath sounds tempting but I fear I might get embarrassingly
stuck.........
Soup Dragon 20 January 2003 19:20
Rubbish, woman .....
If Big Mac has the slightest regards to you he wouldn't hesitate to get up
every hour on the hour to top up your hot bath water, until such time as you
decided to become unstuck.
PS. Are you sure you can't do the 'fire-flies-out-of-the-mouth' thing? VJ
swears blind his mother did every time he was caught doing something naughty.
PPS. Failing that get Big Mac to come into the bathroom and talk about blokish
things. That should give you enough hot air to get you through the week.
PPPS. VJ says "Have you ever seen that monument to the employee who
worked themselves to death to support other people who were too busy looking
after themselves?"
PPPPS. No, apparently he hasn't either. I'm sure there's a moral in there
somewhere.
Helen Bristol 21 January 2003 19:13
But I'd go all wrinkly like a prune.
Undoubtedly my offspring think that I can do the 'fire-flies-out-of-the-mouth'
thing too, but then small children have such vivid imaginations. They
would probably also swear blind that they've seen my brrrroomstick.
Haven't seen that monument but then I'm always too busy to go around looking
at fine art, except when we're in SI, and much of what we saw in the Tat was
outshone by miles by the view across the beach and the beautiful Kernow
Kountryside.
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