21 January 2003 19:22
Honourable Agony Dragony,
Help please. We have been together for oooh, a long time, more years than I care to remember, let's just say half a lifetime. I thought everything was wonderful, we got on so well, knew the give and take of life,. Oh there were signs of ageing but you learn to live with that.
Then one day I looked at my neighbours' and it was as if scales had fallen from my eyes. They all seemed so beautiful, got on so well, lived in harmony so perfect. I realised that everything that I had thought so good was rubbish.
Now I don't know what to do. Should I stay and just carry on as if nothing had happened? Should I move away and start all over again.? Or should I call in Alan Titchmarsh and Charlie Dimmock and give my garden a makeover?
22 January 2003 15:10
Well, just as long as it's only your eyes that the scales have fallen off. Personally I live in fear of premature scale drop and have this recurring nightmare when I rush out of my soup mine to knobble some knavish knight only to discover that all my scales have fallen off and I'm stark naked and defenceless. That one puts me in a cold sweat, I can tell you!
Anyway, don't let the neighbours get you down. Underneath they are probably no more happy than you are .....
..... and, if somehow they are, well, just get the old fiery-breath weapon out and blow them away!
No one likes smug gits.
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