Pardon our ignorance (we were never any good at geography, although Sonic is
nearly old enough to go to secondary skool next year so we have some small
hope of our improving our skills) but isn't Catto Macho a mountain in Peru? Or
am I getting confused with a type of coffee? Sorry, but my brain (and
stuffing) is always a bit limp first thing on a Sunday.
But enough of such linguistic flummery (in France I'd be called Le Chat de Crème
au Lait so I can hardly cast nasturtiums in that direction!).
I used to do the 'bird thing' but must admit I went off the idea after I
arrived here and tasted my first seagull. Believe me, they taste just as foul
as they look. Hardly surprising, I suppose, when you consider what they eat
(all that stuff discarded by unthinking tourists; pasties, food wrappings,
disposable nappies, small children, etc.).
Fortunately, the rest of the RT introduced me to Doom Bar and so now when I am
in need of refreshment I just pad down to the Sloop, get VJ to do me an
ostrich steak (rare) and chips while I slurp DB and daydream of pursuing Big
Bird (from Sesame Street) across the plains of the Serengeti.
Well, a bloke's got to have ambitions. Imagine the look on VJ's face if he
found that stretched out by his slippers!
Happy hunting and don't let Helling and Big Mac put you off. If God didn't
want you to eat the birdies he wouldn't have made them so tasty and
nutritious!
Custard.
Catto Macho
26 January 2003 18:51
Thanks for the piccie. Hey you really look in the pink! ( Ok I've got that one
out of the way)
Call 9a.m. early for any morning - I'm never compos mentis until
well after midday. Then I have a quick stretch, nip outside for a quick pee
and stagger back to bed, occasionally stopping on the way through the kitchen
for a snack.
I think your thinking of my explosive Mexican cousin, Popocatapetl.
Not heard from him recently. P'raps the RT should put an Atlas on the crimbo
list for this year then Sonic will be able to tell you all about the world
outside St. Ives. On the other hand VJ could give you greater access to
his 'puter and you can explore for yourselves. Better still, get out and about
yourselves, travel broadens the mind
I'm surprised VJ didn't put you right. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the
French for custard is sauce Anglais, n'est pas? However if you want to be
called Le chat de crème au lait that's fine by me.
Don't know if any of you saw the Observer last Sunday in the Foodie
Mag. A full page piccie of Wozza (Anthony Worrall Thingumy) naked as the day
he was born, except for some very fetching wellies and an eyewateringly large
cabbage strategically placed to cover his embarrassment. Just wondered if
VJ was planning to follow suit? He is after all younger and better
looking!!!!!!!!!
Not much happening on the home front today. Big Mac did the
cooking-in-advance thing yesterday so there won't even be any "pussy
pieces" (oh god, how embarrassing can they get?) tonight. I think
Helling is doing something Moroccan tomorrow so I guess its round to see Polly
again All I ask is straight forward non-mucked-about-with nosh, why the
hell does she have to put all those spicy things in?
Custard
27 January 2003 09:58
What's wrong with pink? At least I stand out in a crowd unlike all those other
feline mugs who insist on wearing the same sort of fur everywhere they go. No
wonder people have difficulty telling them apart. I have no such problems and
many is the time that Tony (or whoever) has turned round when the bar is busy
saying "who's next" only for someone to say "serve the pink
cat, he was here first"!
I don't think the idea of a VJ expose would be a very good idea. The only
thing he would look good in is a body bag!
Quite agree with your sentiments on the feline food faux pas committed by
humans. The fools just haven't got a culinary cat's clue and as for such
atrocities as 'pussy pieces', etc. well, let's just say death would be too
good for the perpetrators. Fortunately, here VJ is out at the slave pits most
of the time so Flat Eric usually does the cooking and things are alright.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Roobarb has just come up with some wildly optimistic
scheme that I must go and pour disdain and derision upon.
Bwahahahaha,
Kustid.
Catto Macho
27 January 2003 19:15
Helling adds:
Absolutely nothing, one of my fave colours. You know what they say? Pink to
make the boys wink!!! Very suitable for Kustid me thinks.
I thought Soupie was in charge of the kitchen chez Spooky or is that just the
starters?
Custard
28 January 2003 16:01
Look, you can get locked up for suggesting such scurrilous things these days
(especially if they find out we met on the internet)!
Soupie is in charge of starters and is chief Soupervisor. Flat Eric does the
main courses and the Sonics round up the desserts. The rest of the RT give
their (literal) support as we have to form a sort of pyramid so that the
person at the top can reach the cooker rings!
Helen Bristol
28 January 2003 18:13
What's scurrilous about it? I don't care if they find out how we met.
Its better than at an AS party - well possibly - or
clubbing. Anyway have "they" nothing better to do with their
sad lives than to live vicariously through ours?
Sounds like a perfect example of interdenominational co-operation. The
cooking arrangements I mean. We video'd Tony and Giorgio last Thursday and
watched it last night. Should be used as a training video for food
handling and hygiene, and health and safety ( as in what 10 things did they do
wrong). If that was safe to show on TV I dread to even think what some
kitchens are like.
Haven't seen much of Macho Catto today, well you don't when you're out all day
and he's curled up on my pillow. No doubt he'll be getting his pocket watch
out shortly ( its already 8 minutes past teatime) and start complaining loudly
that its time he was fed. Tim, my treeman, came again today and as he brings
his dog with him like as not young Catto was actually hiding upstairs. Not too
brave when there are inter-species disputes.
Vile Jelly
28 January 2003 22:41
I understand perfectly how the poor puss feels about inter-species strife.
Personally, I have never got on with humans at all although the RT keep trying
to persuade me that they are not so bad.
VJ
PS. Just got back from a pleasant 14 hour breakfast split. Was doing it all on
my own tonight so I am now officially cook/dishwasher/cleaner, etc. And it was
busy! ..... In the depths of January for god's sake. Will these people never
give me a break. The phrase pertaining to inserting a broom up a certain
orifice and sweeping the floor at the same time certainly sprang to mind a few
times.
Although not as many times as certain expletives sprang to the air! Time to
find a more reasonable employer, I suspect.
PPS. Is Tim the Treeman like one of the Ents in Lord of the Rings? No wonder
CM is nervous about his presence!
Helen Bristol
29 January 2003 18:18
Oh, stop whinging, man. You're just about getting an inkling of what its
like for us wimmin. On duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Mother, nurse, educator, playmate, wife, lover, homemaker, cook, dishwasher,
laundress....... need I go on? And all unpaid! No
"employer" to change either. And, No, I wasn't part of the
bra-burning brigade. Always thought it would be too uncomfortable.
Anyway some humans are OK.
Its ages since I read Lord of the Rings, and Greg took his copies back up
north with him at the weekend so I can't check. I can't remember all
that much about the Ents. It's my age m'dear. Wasn't there someone who
cared for the forest? If so that would be Tim.
Vile Jelly
29 January 2003 19:39
Oh spare me your 'inconvenience of being a girly bloke' spiel. As an employed,
white, single, thirty-something male I am the most unlooked-after species in
this country. Even Catto Macho gets more state support than I do. Even the
girly blokes in the kitching class at t' school of mines admit to numerous
cases where one of their ilk waltzed into a council house on the basis of 15
minutes lying on her back and flaunting the consequences. I believe that I am
due for consideration in 2089 ..... oh, sorry, we've just had a few more
teenage pregnancies. Let's call it 2139.
PS. I strongly suggest that you buy or blag a copy of the LOTR before Tim the
Treeman comes back. "Someone who cared for the forest"? The Ents
were giant tree people who whupped Saruman's sorry ass into mincemeat. Even
Gandalf said 'please' when he was talking to them! If the aforementioned Tim
the Treeman is, in deed, an Ent then I can only suggest that you bin any axes
and stop lighting wood fires.
Helen Bristol
30 January 2003 14:48
Who are you calling a girly bloke? Sorry, seem to hit a bit of a raw
nerve there? No, by 2089 you'd be entitled to a place in a residential home
for the bitter and helpless. That's if we're not all still slaving away
to earn a crust as our pensions will be worthless, and a thing consigned to
the history books.
I said I hadn't read LOTR for ages -- like 20 years, so much has happened in
my young life since then, I cannot recall everything. If Tim the
Treeman is an Ent he wouldn't go round felling trees would he? You've
obviously read it more recently or have a vastly superior memory??
Don't know what your weather is like. It took me two and a half hours to
drive 23 miles to work this a.m. 6 inches of snow and East Anglia crawls
to a halt. At one stage I managed 1 mile in 30 minutes. Such is
the dedication to one's calling that one carried on carrying on instead of
saying "oh, sod it" and going home. Let myself (and the rest
of the staff) off early though. Its melting a bit now and there are huge
puddles where the road drains are blocked with snow so if it freezes tonight
EA will be one enormous skating rink.
In this neck of the woods early single motherhood is a huge problem too.
Its pathetic watching the young'uns trying to work up enough courage to go
into the contraception clinic next door to my department. S'pose we
should be glad that at least some of them are trying to act responsibly.
I'm supposed to be "working at home" this afternoon, so I guess I'd
better get on with something work-like instead of chatting to you.
Vile Jelly
30 January 2003 16:38
Oh, I don't worry about pensions any more. Not since I cashed mine in for
three magic beans.
So, when you say 'Tim the Treeman' you mean 'Tim the man who cuts down trees'
as opposed to 'Tim the man who is a tree'. Assuming that he is the former then
he had better take care to conceal his chopper as Ents get quite narked by
that sort of thing!
Snow, eh? It never snows in St. Ives (well, once every three blue moons). Here
it is just winding like mad (with occasional flurries of rain and hail). The
sea is a tad lumpy at the minute!
So, the summarise, it looks like you might have rain, dear ..... while we've
got gales, honey.
Helen Bristol
30 January 2003 17:42
Thought I'd brought home enough "work" to keep me going this
afternoon AND all tomorrow (just in case I get snowed in) but I've
finished most of it except reading the articles on dementia - thought I ought
to find out about it before I get to a stage when I can't understand what I'm
reading about.
Yes, Tim-the-man-who-cuts-down-trees, although he's reluctant to do that
unless you're talking Leylandii (a dying language these days) in which
case he redoubles his efforts to remove and dispose of them asap. He was
reluctant to top one of my yews( avert Shaun's eyes) which he reckons is over
80 almost as old as me! I just hope I'm right and it will regrow,
there's a rather unpleasant view of a neighbour's house now.
Eureka! I've found my ancient, battered copy of LOTR.
One of the wimmin at work says it last snowed in Lowestoft in 1973, I think
here it was a few weeks ago.
Dispatched Big Mac to the wine shop, hope he doesn't slip over on the way
back.
Vile Jelly
30 January 2003 18:45
Ah, dementia. I could write a book on the subject ..... but I haven't got the
time so I just write a website instead.
Hope BM makes it back with the wine in one piece. Next time why don't you
attach a label to him saying, "If you find this person, please return the
wine to ....."?
Otherwise you might never get your wine because, knowing BM's obsession, if he
is in any way incapacitated he will just go into autopilot mode and wander off
in the direction of the Sharp's brewery!
Helen Bristol
30 January 2003 20:36
Sharps is a long way from here. He might make it to Mrs. Alewife, just a
couple of miles up the road. Good local brew.
Anyway, despite the usual skating rink at the bottom of Station Road, last
year he went arse over tits, he made it back with the bottles intact.
Still snowing! Good! Keep it up guys - I could get tomorrow off AND
avoid the weekend journey into brassica-land
Vile Jelly
31 January 2003 15:56
Alas, it is obstinately refusing to snow here (in fact it's been quite a nice
day). Unfortunately, I am full of a cold and will be spending the entire
weekend incarcerated in the slave pits.
Joy!
Helen Bristol
31 January 2003 16:40
What you need is a good blast of Siberian air. That'd kill off all those bugs
you're harbouring. Its been nice here today just as long as you don't have to
go out in it. Been snowing on and off all day. Big Mac has been dispatched
again for essential supplies which have all arrived back intact. At
least you'll keep nice and warm!
Weekend filial/sisterly visit postponed!!
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