Beau Jest?

David Crump

28 January 2003 09:50

Cornishman and his lunch

There was a Irishman, Mexican, and a Cornishman, who were construction workers and they were working on top of a building. It was lunch time and the Irish man opens his lunch box and he gets cabbage and beef sandwiches and he says, "If I get one more beef and cabbage for lunch I'm gonna jump off of this building."
Then the Mexican opens his lunch box and he gets a burrito, he says if I get one more burrito for lunch I'm gonna jump off this building. 
The Cornishman opens his lunch box and gets a cornish pasty he said if I get one more cornish pasty I'm gonna jump off of this building.
The next day the Irish man opens his lunch box and finds cabbage and beef sandwiches so he jumps off the building to his death. 
Then the Mexican opens hid lunch box and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death. 
Then the Cornishman opens his lunch box and finds a cornish pasty, so he jumps off to his death as well.
The next day at their funeral the Irish man's wife said, ''Begorrah, only if I would have known that he didn't like cabbage and beef I would have packed him something else." 
Then the Mexican's wife then said, ''If I only knew he didn't like burritos, I would have packed something else. ''
Finally, the Cornishman's wife said '' I don't know what his problem
was; he packed his own lunch.''

Vile Jelly

28 January 2003 16:21

Ooh err, that's a bit risqué. Dare we publish it? Will we fall foul of the Race Relations Board?

On the other hand will the locals be offended by it? Will they get it? And if they do, will they take action?

We'll keep you posted d'rectly. Don't give anyone your address!

PS. A man from St. Ives, a man from Penzance and a Tourist are arguing who is the most talented and decide to have a contest to see who can walk furthest across St. Ives Bay.

The Tourist goes first. He steps off West Pier and sinks without a trace. While the lifeboat is fishing him out the man from Penzance sets off. He sinks up to his shins and then gingerly starts stepping across the water, getting half way to Carbis Bay before he slips and falls into the sea.

The lifeboat sets off to fish him out and as they are doing so the man from St. Ives strides out across the bay. He walks out to Godrevy, twice round the lighthouse and then starts heading back. As he nears St. Ives the lifeboat goes past with the bloke from Penzance being dried out. "You're looking a bit damp there, boy," quoth the St. Ivean. "I lost my balance and slipped off the ledge," the Penzancer admitted sheepishly, "Mind you, I feel sorry for the Tourist, though. Maybe we should have told him about the submerged rocks".

"What rocks?", asked the St. Ivean.

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