Home Is Where The Art Is

Maeve Russet Hawthorne

25 April 2003 19:44

hay from the colonies

Hi ... enjoy reading you and fellews... jelly bean salads and esquisite sauces... oh to be in England .. finally some raise of sun here in the tundra of the colony.... and almost, a spring day... some brave new leaves opening their summer books and skeins of snowy whistler swans fly overhead all the way from Mexico and rumms and cokes to nest in the salt grasses of the arctic... and me here on the ground  planning to move to your town ... and found your letters, in the air above the north atlantic................................................................
tell me dear Sage  any ideas of the work scene in the autumnal ...like a job in a gallery or pottery.....  and is it a better    time for this excursion the spring perhaps.... or what...being an ancient of days and all children flown to the world. this gal returns to St.Ives.brushes and canvas packed...oh I may bring my canaries too... know anyone at the docks with a liveaboard wanting a quiet tenent overwintering?  thanks for  forwarding this note...
when is the next medieval play and feast? Equinox?
your Canadian Girl Guide...
Maeve      (be prepared)

Vile Jelly

26 April 2003 08:06

Lordy, the long winter isolation in the arctic circle certainly hasn't affected you. Well, maybe just a spot of cabin fever perhaps. I've heard that prolonged isolation in the wilderness (or Canada, as the yanks always seem to call it!) can lead to people becoming feral and losing the power of human speech. Either that or you've been reading Finnegan's Wake again!
Anyway, I've had the Reporting Team working on your e-mail over night in Bletchley Park and they think they have managed to decrypt most of it. However, some parts, they say, remain an Enigma.
If you are considering a permanent move to St. Ives the first thing you will need is a large bag of money with which to purchase (or rent) somewhere to live. Approximately 75% of the GDP of Canada should get you a bedsit.
As for timing, you are more likely to find somewhere to stay in the autumn but would be better placed to get an artyfarty job in the spring when they open up all the galleries in preparation for another season of emmet-conning. Otherwise you could just fall back on being a failed artist like everyone else.
PS. Like boy scouts chef's are always prepared. That's because we both always tote knives around. It's just that ours are bigger and sharper so we are prepareder!

Maeve Russet Hawthorne

29 April 2003 20:33

toadstool home

checked the crystal ball and find that the reporting team is YOU...bashing away bravely, courageously and delightfully ..... will decipher all if asked...

maybe I will haul out plan B as a WOOFER in Wales.. no probs getting digs there and just take the train to St. Ives.. with paintings..  on sunny days   ...  how come sew bitter about artyfartiness.... a bell is gonging just beside my ear...it is a sinister prospect... maybe I'd better just go out into the garden and eat worms.. that what I (say) when the odds are up to here against success... however...     whats emmetconning     a con job for dear old E?

are emmets the touristos coming for the myth of Cornwyll and luverly fried chips and blood pudding or the notorious paaastie.. instant clogg in an unsuspecting arterial to the thinking cap(of velvet  I mean real velvet, not the fake stuff).....

about the money.   there is none... only the staff, cockle shell and dear little purse for a few crumbs...  well, actually.. a free will, well honed from years of wandering... though, thought I'd marry a Vicar, and anglican one..for just the music and wall paintings and maybe get a boucle knit dress with a brooch  and hat to match and sign on ... sort of ..you know.. picnics and teas etc.... although how long do you think I would last? 

thanks for the ideas of your town...sounds like Salt Spring Island BC ... a quiet place gone to $ and no room at the inn for a painter unless got in out of the weather years ago..some pals still ther tell me SSI is like Marthas' Vineyard..... makes me want to return to OZ.. all you need there is a great tent... speaking of which... is there a caravan park nearby for winterlets?... and does St. Ives have a no liveaboard rule? Perhaps a boat.. I'm not very fond of the bedsit idea..." rather have a pumpkin all to myself than lived crowded on a velvet pillow.".. Henry David Thoreau...

Dear Paul, what keeps you in this tourist town? as Joni Mitchell would say.

In 2 weeks I am putting my dog Ned and birdies into a UHAUL truck and driving south to the coast to Vancouver Island for the winter... to a cabin there... and  man I can't buck up against no housing... no energy for it  any nearby towns where painters hang out?

and so toowitt toowoo  (girl guide chant  over a toadstool)

Vile Jelly

30 April 2003 08:18

Noooooo, the Reporting Team are that multifarious, multicoloured, multi-species gang you can see in the piccies. Although, especially first thing in the morning, I have occasionally been mistaken for Flat Eric I can assure you that we are all separate individuals. The Reporting Team do all the investigating and creative stuff and I just type it up for them because I've only got a standard keyboard which isn't very hoof/paw friendly. (Allso r speling iznt verry gud - the RT).
 Emmet-conning is, oddly enough, the process of conning emmets aka selling overpriced tat to gullible tourists.
Artyfartys are generally despised because they are mostly a bunch of talentless twonks with no sense of their own worthlessness. 'Artyfarty' is the term by which virtually all of St. Ives refers to them so it's not my personal axe being ground here. Artfartys should not be confused with artists, the former being as thick as flies on a cowpat and the latter being as rare as a polite emmet. F'rinstance, the bunch of tits blocking off half the bar while loudly admiring each other, modelling their designer smocks and decrying the unbearable lightness of being are artyfartys. They have to talk to each other because no one else wants to touch them with a bargepole. The bloke in the denims, hair & beard with a throughly pissed off expression because he can't get to the bar is Trevor Corser, the Leach Potter. People come from half way round the world to see him. You see, it's not hard to spot the difference.
Not sure about the caravan parks doing winter lets. If you can bear to re-enter SSI you should find links to a couple (Ayr and Polmanter from memory). You could try looking them up to see if they do them. I'd abandon the living on a boat idea if I were you. There are only two places you can park a boat round here; in the harbour (which is tidal so you might find it hard to stay in bed when the boat grounds) or in the bay (which can get very rough, e.g. it wiped out a Royal Navy minesweeper, so you'd better be on good terms with the lifeboat crew as you'll be seeing a lot of them!).

Maeve Russet Hawthorne

02 May 2003 22:00

yes I know about tiddes.. in Falmouth once upon a time I checked out a "boat" snagged to ground...  but I needed a dinghy to get aboard at the high.   Salt Spring Island is like St. Ives. with all the joolri laden tanned and midriffed chicks with their older guy and feeling groovy( from california) in Moby's while we old timers have no room to get our Rickards Reds.. very annoying... SSI was a grubby backwater 20 years ago .. perfect.....the worse onear come in on boats and let their muts poop on the slips I was going to publish a little booklet with instructions on measuring the crap diameter and matching it to the anonymous dog bum department... you could also use if for the artyfartys though using a sort of dress and language reference.. like the joolri  more than one piece of turquoise or more than 2 gold chains.... or a "dutch captains" hat..

speaking with a pal who owns a gallery there  (offering him my soapstone birds)... and he sez the address, thanking the gods I understand without explanation..,. and what a relief to talk with a local...got to go not much time today o this library machine... Maeve

Vile Jelly

03 May 2003 08:28

Well, that's all sorted, then. You'll find that not much has changed in St. Ives during the last 20 years ..... apart from everything.
PS. You don't include seagulls in your soapstone bird repertoire, do you? That could be a major 'fox paws' down here!

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