A Bit Of Common Saints!

Andrew Macdonald

29 April 2003 21:07

Re: Lost

Heard on the Toady programme this morning that they are looking for a patron saint to take over from St George, who seems to have failed his last assessment and is on a written warning.  Could make an interesting one for the employment tribunal.  Anyway, the best they could do was St Chad, who is currently the patron saint of Florida Department of Elections, and probably couldn't afford the move given the enormous size of his retainer from Jeb Bush. I think we have solved the problem for them.  Red pinny, loaf of bread, curtain rod etc etc.  Interestingly, we'd have to get his consent to have his name put forward, which is not something they could do with many of the rest of them, mainly owing to,them being dead for the last 700 years.
PS  I think herself has explained the communications breakdown - a combination of the internet service denier and the apparent heightened state of alert in the NHS' own GCHQ.  Which also means that the tale of the lightly clothed nurse may never see the light of day.

Vile Jelly

29 April 2003 21:48

Acshually, (sorry it was a long shift followed by a short binge in the Slurp!) I haven't heard from the proto-saint for some time. Not yet 40 days and 40 nights but you never know .....
PS. It doesn't really matter if the story of the lightly-clad nurse does see daylight as I have already gone blind exploring the possibilities!

Andrew Macdonald

02 May 2003 13:49

Try a short shift and a long binge.  That way, they can get you for drunk and disorderly and indecent exposure at the same time.
No staying power, these neo Celtic proto- tyro saints.  I think I'll vote for the Blessed Euphemia Plinge instead.

Vile Jelly

02 May 2003 15:57

Never heard of him .....
On the other appendage the Reporting Team have recently been caught ringing directory enquiries asking them to tell Mr. Da Vinci that they are ready to do the 'Last Supper' pose provided he supplies the chief poseur.
Come to think of it, would the world really be a worse place if we did have a Saint Sonic, Saint Shaun, Saint Flat Eric (already sounds like an early christian martyr!), Saint Soup Dragon, Saint Orm (hell, they named my childhood burg after him), etc. Let's face it, compared to our traditional saints they're more worshipped, more loved, more cuddly and, let's face it, when you're praying for a miracle they are just as likely to be efficacious!

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