A Sting In The Tale


Helen Bristol

09 May 2003 17:19

New message - other one getting too long

Don't mind.  As you know, my shoulders are broad, I can take it.
 
You sounded as though you were in the Slough of despond - on Reading the update, not at all surprised.  As you rightly said - if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to look.  With you all the way there, buddy.  However, you do sometimes set yourself up to be shot at so can't really complain when someone takes a pot shot...........can you?
 
Sticker seen on a car in H. t'other day ........ Cornwallshire flag with "NON EMMIT"  across the middle.( Now which is the right spelling?  Would your Cornese expert be able to enlighten us?)  It also had another sticker "I brake for pasties"  oops! but it was a white Ford Escort!  (bad boys car) Nuff sed.
 
Hope you'll see fit to publish your latest expotition........... I like reading them even if what's his face doesn't.  Which of the RT won the toss?
 
Its the 2nd annual Harleston Festival this week ............  we're light years behind SI.............no doubt some time in the next half century there will be a similar falling out.
 
Talking about surfing.  I recall several years back when the Big Hospital at Gorleston was trying to recruit therapists from the Antipodes they were being enticed with suggestions that Gorleston beach compared with Bondi.  Now I've never been to Bondi, but have seen a few of those new-fangled cinemaographic things and for the life of me I can't see the resemblance apart from sand and water.  Now if Penwith had made the claim I might have agreed.

Vile Jelly

10 May 2003 08:50

Oh well, I suppose your right about that but to be honest it wasn't the fact that someone/thing had a go at SSI so much as the complaint about 'talking shite' and no longer being relevant or useful for his personal needs/demands. Since when did I say that SSI was a public information service and since when did I need permission for what I/others promulgate on the site. The whole idea of SSI is that it is supposed to be different and if people want tedious tourist information then they should look up the tedious tourist information sites and leave us alone.
 
Depending on what turns up in the next couple of weeks maybe I'll 'hide' SSI on the internet and then only people in the know will be able to access it.
 
I shall think on it. Should have plenty of opportunity as I am on a split today.

Helen Bristol

10 May 2003 12:51

Like the man said, he was looking at SSI for the last time so that should be an end to his griping. Fingers crossed, he'll keep his word.
 
 I seem to recall that a few months ago you were thinking of packing it all in because you were getting grief from an unnamed source.......... any relation to this one?
 
You're right, of course, it certainly is different. So long as you don't do a Greta Garbo "I want to be alone"  Most of us who use the site do so because we enjoy the exchanges and have some fun along the way.  Folk who don't like it  don't visit the site again  unless they want to see how puerile we can be.  Grow up?  What a strange idea!  Tell me, what else do blokes and girly-blokes talk about if its not beer, cuddly animals and buying houses?  with a bit of wordplay thrown in for good measure to keep the little grey cells functioning.  Who is this Oswin person anyway?
 
Don't let the B******(s) etc, etc.
 
Me?  I'm loose-ending today.  BM's gone to visit the local agri-college with his younger offspring ( with a view to getting him some edukayshun) and the threatened showers look as though they about to dampen any prospect of topping up the tan......................I'm sure I'll think of something.

Vile Jelly

10 May 2003 15:35

You're probably right, O Wise Yoda. We'll see.
 
Weather here was pants first thing in the morning but it has now brightened up considerably and Mr and Mrs World (and their dog) have now turned up. Lunch wasn't too bad but we fear an onslaught tonight.
 
Not sure when the new feature will put in an appearance yet. Sonic and Shaun are currently cooling their overheated paws/hoofs in buckets of iced water while the rest of the Reporting Team are in the darkroom trying to develop a tad over 400 photos to see if any came out or if we'll have to do it all over again.
 
PS. If/when BM returns from the aggro-cultural college you can tantalise him with the news that the news bulletin piccy of Sonic & Shaun supping a pint at the Godolphin Arms in Marazion, opposite St. Mick's Mount, features none other than a new(ish) beer ..... Sharp's Eden Ale. According to my tasters it's tasty and nutritious!

Helen Bristol

10 May 2003 17:04

Threatened precipitation failed to materialise.
 
I thought you did all your walks twice, or was that just,................y' know, .....showing off?  What you? 
 
PS but is it as good as Doom?
 
PPS  Sounds like a good "excuse" to have to head SW.

Vile Jelly

11 May 2003 08:05

I usually do, it just depends on what I get material-wise at the first attempt. I have actually done a few preliminary scouting missions for various stages as it is a sod to navigate at times (especially when you've got a sheep and a hedgehog reading the map!). Hence, 400 odd photies (the memory card only has a capacity for a max 288 in one go).
 
PS. Yup, the Anthony Eden Ale is a damn fine brew. It's as nice as Doom Bar, I reckon, but they are slightly different brews. The Garden of Eden Ale is 4.4% vole so its a bit stronger than DB. I am not sure whether it has any deleterious effects, though. We had a few pints of it and at the end I couldn't help notice that Sonic had turned blue and Shaun had gone all vague and bulgy-eyed! Perhaps we'll have to test it on a GP (i.e. guinea pig) just to be on the safe side. When did you say BM was available?

Helen Bristol

11 May 2003 11:43

BM said he'd seen at the Garden of Eden last autumn, but it was bottled not draught.  Is it on tap now?  Did Sonic make any comments about your appearance?
 
D'know.  His dad was a GP, BM's just a *..................., but I'm sure he'd be willing if you're buying.  He's a bit tied up at the moment...................
*complete as appropriate

Vile Jelly

11 May 2003 15:31

Aye, lad. Well, it's on draught at the Godolphin Arms, anyway. I think I've seen bottles of it in the Union but am unaware, so far, of it being draughted anywhere in St. Ives.
 
PS. Sonic said I looked absolutely vile and, I must admit, after a good walk and a few pints my legs were like jelly, so nothing changed there then!
 
PPS. Is BM tied up in the busy or the Cynthia Payne sense?

Helen Bristol

11 May 2003 16:43

Oh god, the after-effect was worse than we feared.  Haven't you noticed  that I'm a different gender to you?
 
Not sure.  Depends what turns you on.  He was wrestling with the nettles ( aka the Wildlife Garden) - 3 stings or a submission.  Have to report that he threw in the towel and we went to the nursery instead.

Vile Jelly

11 May 2003 18:03

Nonsense!
 
I am not sexist at all, which is why I always divide the halves of your species into two categories: blokes and girly-blokes! The whole point (of the pointless existence of humanity) as far as I can see is to be known as 'a good bloke'. If you are a member of the opposite tendency, so be it. Regardless, I shall always think of humans as being 'a good bloke' or 'a good lad'. At the end of the day it's what you're remembered for doing, not what species you technically were.
 
PS. Why did Le Grand Ecosse retreat to the nursery? Have you got an infestation of small children? Or was that a Freudian misprint the first time I typed it and, in fact, he has 'retreated to nursey'.
 
PPS. If he could just defeat those nettles he could make a fortune in the Yarg-wrapping industry!

Helen Bristol

12 May 2003 12:23

This is a small-child-free-zone. You have Soupie so why shouldn't he have "nursey"?  We've got Teddies all over the place. The nursery in question is for small plants not small (or even large) humans.
 
Another possible use for the nettles is nettle soup - reputedly has the same effect as Viagra at a fraction of the cost.  There, between Yarg and pseudo-Viagra I could make my fortune, and could retire to a bijou residence in SI..........should just about be able to afford one.
 
BM had a near miss with the Wussie last night..............thought that might amuse you.  Still waiting for the 3rd stabbing.

Vile Jelly

12 May 2003 16:23

Are you sure it was only a near miss. A couple of times I've (self)administered a couple of small nicks with the globes, looked down to check I've just lifted a bit of skin only to find myself a couple of minutes later standing in a small puddle of blood. I can understand why we have to keep the buggers safely stashed and are only allowed to transport then from home to work (suitably secured). Forget flick knives, etc. I can honestly say that given a basic knowledge of human anatomy you could run someone through with the big globule and they'd be dead before they actually realised what happened. Frighteningly sharp!
 
Keep the medikit on standby.

Helen Bristol

12 May 2003 16:49

More, nearly didn't miss  He was messing about. No poodles of blood.  Not all over my new floor!  Makes you feel you want to keep the knife drawer locked.
 
Crazy weather.  Beautiful sunshine this a.m., sat in the garden at lunchtime.  Then the sky got blacker (am I allowed to use this word anymore?) and blacker, thunder, lightning, downpour.  Now the sun's coming out again and the shed roof is gently steaming. Oh, the joy of an English summer.

Vile Jelly

12 May 2003 18:21

Well, you know what they say (and believe me, they've said it to me!) the only way to make something foolproof is to keep it away from fools.
 
They've issued me with Fisher-Price rubber knives now .....

Helen Bristol

13 May 2003 13:52

They also say 'it takes one to recognise one'.
 
Very thoughtful of them - are they for you to play with in your little rubber room?  Personally, I think the plastic/rubber look-alike tools are probably more dangerous than the real thing.  Just remember, you must make sure you've got a grown up with you when you do things in the kitchen.
 
Thanks for the weather you're sending up to us  - sun, rain, hail, thunder, lightning,  gusty wind - only thing missing is snow.
 
PS great saving on the old spine.  If you drop a knife it will bounce back into your hand.

Vile Jelly

13 May 2003 14:46

Actually, they've now given me a special chef's jacket as well. Which was nice of them.
 
The only problem is that the sleeves are too long for some reason. In fact, I can wrap them right round my whole blubbery bod. Some mistake, surely!
 
PS. The sun is shining (and the wind is winding) here. Occasional very brief shower but luckily at the moment we seem to have trained the weather up to do its raining in the night.

Helen Bristol

13 May 2003 17:26

Does it have "Paul Kelly CCA" embroidered on it?  Hang on, though but, its a full moon and lunar eclipse on Thursday night.  That wouldn't be why they have been so generous?

Vile Jelly

14 May 2003 07:48

Well, obviously there are one or two small consequences with regards to full moons and lunar eclipses .....
 
..... well, there are for someone born (hatched?) on Halloween!
 
Altogether now (if you've seen American Werewolf):
 
I see a bad moon rising ...

Helen Bristol

14 May 2003 15:54

Liked that song................lots of good memories.
 
Cranially/facially hursute?  Stretches even my fertile imagination.
 
CM has searched through his Book of Catspells but could find nothing to help you - he proffers his abject apologies and commiserations.  His powers are somewhat reduced currently, owing to a recent  (ie today) visit to his favourite young lady vet.  I think BM is quite entranced as well.        

Vile Jelly

14 May 2003 16:10

Nyet problemski, I learned to cope with my otherworldly tendencies a long time ago.
 
To be precise it was the time I discovered that traditionally children born on Halloween were snatched from their cradles by goblins who replaced the sprog with one of their own. When I grilled Mater on the subject she did admit that 'yes, they had left me out on the doorstep on the night in question but the following morning I was rediscovered there with a note pinned to me to the effect that even goblins have some standards'!
 
PS. So, what you're saying is that if BM keeps taking a trip to the vet, he's going to be taking a trip to the vet?
 
Or are you just happy that he gets defleaed and has all those unnecessary bits removed!

Helen Bristol

14 May 2003 16:46

Exactly so. Pro'bly be just his luck that Jim will be on duty next time he goes.........and mine!

Vile Jelly

15 May 2003 08:14

Oh well, never mind. Just make sure you have soothing casks of real ale on hand for when he recovers consciousness on the operating table. I'm sure he'd rather have something he can find a use for instead!

Helen Bristol

15 May 2003 13:38

CM has never indicated to me that he likes real ale!  Not even as compensation for suffering the indignity of having his temperature taken.
 
As a for BM - everything present and correct and in good working order.  Haven't noticed anything amiss except the odd few grey cells which seems to go with the territory.
 
Taking a well earned siesta having driven to Lowestoft for physio, had my lower back manipulated, and then a hour-long interview with my boss before driving home again.

Vile Jelly

16 May 2003 09:42

Which hurt more the manipulation or the interview?

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