Giving Them The Bird


"St? Winwaloe"

21 May 2003 08:45

Seagull pas de several

I'm not really sure I agree with all this institutional seagullism as I rather like them. However I do understand the problem. Putting the local council on the roof won't work. They get cold, wet and start complaining or if the sun comes out they might start sun bathing then the neighbours will complain. If you have a pitched roof then chip fat or olive oil may help. You will need to put something soft on the ground to stop them hurting themselves as they slide off. Or, you could buy 2-3 very large dogs and don't give them their doggybites. (Working on the basis that St I's gulls will probably eat the cats). Carpet underlay can be useful to put on the roof. It doesn't stop them landing but you can't hear the patter of webbed feet quite so much. Our neighbour had a problem with herons on the pond pinching the fish. Perhaps a cardboard cut out of a very large heron (or the Hound of the Baskerville's) might help. You could of course simply remove the roof so they have nothing to land on. Might cause a few other problems however. You could, of course, turn this situ into a very nice little money earner (not that you lot need any more money). Get some music up there, teach them how do a proper dance and go on tour with "Gulls of the Dance" or "Birds of the Dance" or something similar. A good Celtic approach!! Hope you find these ideas useful

My Blessing on the Birds

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Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe   

Vile Jelly

21 May 2003 18:22

Oh, I was speaking rhetorically (and in my capacity as a fair jury). Personally, they don't bother me because I am wise to their sneaky ways.

In actual fact we have built a small seagull sanctuary on the window ledges of the kitchen and are hoping to train up he next generation of seagulls so that they respond to our commands.

Then, the next time we see a horde of emmets heading for nosh at the Sloop at 2.59pm it will be a case of 'Unleash the seagulls!'.

Fly my pretties.

Bwahahahaha!

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