Dropping A Clanger


Helen Bristol

26 May 2003 18:03

Eye spy strangers

Paul, I know you've said that SI doesn't enjoy the excellent range of proper shops that we have here in East Angular.  Why didn't you let me know things were so bad?  We could have airlifted supplies to you.  At least you could have let me know that you were sending Soupie and a "friend" on a sortie to find supplies.  We spotted her in a car on Saturday with a Clanger.  They could have stayed with us for a few days R & R.
 
BM wants to know how you got back from Marazion.  He's soo practical! Unlike me. I said you probably flew but he thought I was being silly.  Moi?  Perhaps you're still there with your pint(s) of Eden.  No longer three steps to heaven.  Jel you've arrived!

Vile Jelly

26 May 2003 21:36

Actually, due to their fame most of the Reporting Team employ body doubles in order to cope with autograph hunters, groupies, etc. On the other appendage, I was working all day and night on Saturday so I suppose she could have been gadding about. Did you get the registration of the car? Did you recognise the Clanger?
 
I got a lift back from Marazion. I was seriously contemplating walking back but then we would only have had time for a couple of pints. So, I made the supreme sacrifice on behalf of Sonic & Shaun!

Helen Bristol

26 May 2003 21:42

No, didn't clock the registration and BM had left his digicam behind ( you know the usual "if only I'd got the camera......")
 
Oh, you are soo wonderful...........the supreme sacrifice.....Thought so, didn't think you'd use your supernatural powers for so lowly a trip.
 
I see Winwaloe has a place at Gonwaloe, he didn't say.

Vile Jelly

27 May 2003 08:05

I assumed Gonwaloe was his wife. Did I miss something?
 
Probably. I am about as alert as a dead sloth at the minute as I have succumbed to something nasty and am full of germans. I am streaming so much I'm having difficulty focusing on the monitor and my head feels like it is ensnared in a series of ever-tightening G-clamps!
 
Back to bed, said Zebedee.

Helen Bristol

27 May 2003 15:50

Think you're thinking of Goneril (?) The other one's on the S. coast of Cornwallshire.
 
BM and I had the nasty cold last week. It only lasted about 5 days but the snuffles carry on for a bit longer.
 
Bed's the best place for you in that state.  Don't want the seagulls to catch anything vaguely fatal.
 
Take care of yourself.

Vile Jelly

27 May 2003 16:07

Noooo, Goneril was his daughter (one of the vaches with Regan); Cordelia was the moral exemplar (and you know what happened to her!).
 
However, I bow to your superior geography as I didn't do it at skool (which is why I can 'read' a map, literaturely speaking, but can't 'read' a map in the Sir Ranulf (The Red Nosed Reindeer) Fiennes sense. Why do you think I need members of the Reporting Team to sniff out ..... er, places of refreshment for me?
 
Back to bed again. I feel like tony blair's full of ..... !

Helen Bristol

28 May 2003 10:51

You didn't have to get up just to reply to my emu.  You should send one of the RT out to get you a bottle of Scotch and some echinacea tablets, they taste disgusting so must do some good.  BM swears by them - oh, e*******a!
 
It wasn't that I didn't do geography - I wasn't allowed to (probably something to do with not wanting too many 'fails' on the league table.)  I'm sure the headmistress said something about me taking less subjects and passing them all, rather than taking the usual 8 and failing most of them.  Fat chance.  Anyway I eventually achieved them required 8, & proceeded into the 6th form for the 2 most enjoyable years of my skool life.
 
Mapwise, I had been looking at BM's road atlas, to while away the time while he was hunting bittern and I'd had enough trudging around, and was idly looking at Cornwallshire, as you do, to see where your St. Mike's Mount walk was.  Then started looking about a bit.   If you follow the south coast from SMM towards your beer glass hand ( you are dexterously inclined?) on BM's map there was Gonwaloe with a saintly symbol indicating some religious building, a priory I think.  Can't check  at present as he's at the fire service HQ in Ipswich.  ( I won't tell you about the uniform he has stashed away in a cupboard in his office.)  On my map its called Gunwalloe fishing cove twixt Porthleven and Mullion.
 
Take it you're not going to t' skool of mines today?  Is it half term - silly me, off course it is - could this have anything to do with your susceptibility to germans and buggy things?
 
Saw the orthopod yesterday, nothing can be done, I'm wearing out like a dearly loved old cardigan.  So now we're redesigning my job, no manual handling ( ! ) of people or equipment.  Bang goes the AS parties.

Vile Jelly

28 May 2003 11:17

I was just passing the computer on the way to get myself a fresh supply of bog roll. (I was absolutely streaming yesterday, felt like I was drowning!). Bit better today, dripping tap as opposed to Niagara Falls!
 
What are echidna tablets? I'm not sure the Sonics would approve. Aren't echidnas relatives of theirs?
 
Just had an e-mu from the Saint (no, not Simon Templar, Winwaloe). I've told him to tune into the next update to find out about your discovery.
 
No, not down the School of Mines today due to half-term. Nearly completed the course anyway. Soon, I will have my licence to kill!
 
PS. So, that's what Soupie meant when she said there was an awful lot of banging going on at your AS parties!
 
PPS. Excuse me, I've got to sneeze. Prodigiously. Hope you've got your anti-virus cranked up to max!

Helen Bristol

28 May 2003 13:53

Surely the Sonics would approve of the extreme sacrifice of one of their number to aid the recovery of their beloved friend and mentor - "greater love etc. etc."
 
PS Soupie was supposed to keep quiet about that - she promised.........I'll have to have words with her.
 
PPS  One of my boss's ideas for my future is to become an NVQ assessor ???????? Isn't it Licenced to Thrill?
 
PPPS Its OK - just had an Anti-viral upgrade 

Vile Jelly

28 May 2003 14:33

The only sacrifices the Reporting Team make are human ones, on dark moonless nights!
 
In fairness to them, when you consider what has happened to their fellow peeps at the hands of humans you can understand. I feel the same way most of the time!
 
If I may interject a brief moment of lucidity, don't become an assessor (NVQ or whatever, educationally speaking). It is like being a tax collector without the popular social status! By all means teach NVQs. The bloke teaching me to cook at the School of Mines is brill. He does exactly what needs to be done to satisfy the assessors and then fills in the rest of the time by teaching us something useful. If it wasn't for the fact that he is contractually obliged to drag along the imbeciles and skivers I dread to think how much I could have learned!
 
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just to go and put my nose back in the ice bucket!

Helen Bristol

28 May 2003 15:40

Having (sort of) attempted the NVQ that went with the Cert. of Management I am not really seriously considering becoming an assessor.  (I abandonded the NVQ when I realised that it wasn't what I knew it was being able to blag my way through.)  Look, I went into the NHS to escape from the family tradition of pedagogy, I don't want to lapse at the last hurdle.(apologies to Mrs. W) The group at Peds-Anon would feel so let down. I would feel so let down. I take students for practical, hands-on placements and am quite content to continue with that.
 
PS What a day to be feeling snotty.  Its beautiful here.  I was up and wandering, sleepless in the garden at 4a.m. Dawn was just that pinky tinge.  A light mist hung in the popular trees.  The dawn chorus was in fine fettle.  Next door 's fleabag was deterred from fishing in the pond. No sign of our Russell, although he/she was spotted a couple of nights ago.   

Vile Jelly

28 May 2003 15:51

I thought a pedagogue was someone who worshipped feet but, then again, I could be delirious.
 
All I want now is for my head to explode to relieve the pressure.
 
PS. This seems to be doing the rounds with a few of the locals. The fact that, as you astutely pointed out, that it has swept the colony during the influx of half-termers, may not be a coincidence. This phenomenon has been observed before and a lot of people seem to accept it as being as inevitable as the seagulls shagging on your roof at 4am. I did think of pointing it out on the website but didn't for fear of being accused of you know what!

Helen Bristol

28 May 2003 17:46

It sounds as though you're well on the road to recovery.  (90% of medicine is unproven. One consultant i worker with called it witchcraft which in his case it probably was. So say it with confidence and people get better, or p'rhaps they would have done anyway.
 
You get seagulls shagging we get starlings playing 5 a side, or frogs gang-banging in the pond.

Vile Jelly

28 May 2003 18:14

A fair point but, hey!, don't knock the frogs and their amphibian amour .....
 
..... where do you think they get skool semolina from?

Helen Bristol

29 May 2003 16:40

I wouldn't dream of knocking a frog - unless of course one kiss and  he turned into a handsome prince. But with over 50 in our pond its hard to know where to start. And suppose they all turn into.................
 
................but there again, I'm no royalist so it would be a terrible dilemma
 
Are you feeling any better today?  Half term's nearly over!

Vile Jelly

30 May 2003 08:03

Yesterday, not only my troubles but the worst of my cold seemed so far away, so I thought I'd go for a scenic stroll to revive my flagging spirits. Walked on the Coast Path from St. Ives to Cape Cornwall. Staggered inland to St. Just and collapsed in a drinking establishment to refresh myself, FE and Kustid. Then tried to get a taxi home.
 
Could I get one? Could I hell. There seemed to be only one taxi in all of West Penwith and, apparently, Dobbin was fully booked!
 
Got home in the end, sun and wind burnt beyond all hope of redemption (9.5 out of 10 'expletives deleted' in the shower). I think I shall be forced to cower indoors today. Oh and what a bummer, the Beer Festival starts today!

Helen Bristol

30 May 2003 11:55

Glad to hear you're your old self again.
 
A gentle walk then? How I envy you, I can just about manage a mile.  You obviously didn't go far enough.  Had you walked along the coast a few more miles you'd have arrived at the place aptly named for you!
 
I shall be spending today, now that BM has been dispatched on the train ( with his name label on his lapel) to Dottingham to pick up the "new" motor, in the garden sunba........ no, no, working.  My printer at work is somewhat cranky and yesterday refused to print some documents. It kept telling me that it was out of paper - well, its not rocket science to see that a pile of paper in the tray means its lying.  So I emu'd them to me here and now I can work on them.  I shall be using the Factor whatever it is so hopefully won't be resemble crackling.
 
I seem to recall trying to get a taxi from the Tinners and couldn't get a signal on the mobile, let alone a taxi.

Vile Jelly

30 May 2003 17:06

Just returned from the Beer Fest.
 
May have had a drop too much. Not sure, but I did let the Shauns drive us home so I suspect my mental capacity may be impaired!
 
PS. I'm already crackling. Any more sun and I'll be a pork scratching!

Helen Bristol

30 May 2003 17:34

Your mental capacity must have been impaired if you entrusted your car and the lives and limbs of emmets to the Shauns. 
 
We're now a 3 car family as no one seems to want to take on the Fiat coupe. 
 
PS once the crackling starts to break up you'll know what it is to be a Sonic.

Vile Jelly

30 May 2003 18:02

A Fiat Coupe?
 
And you call me mad!
 
PS. Actually, the Shauns are quite safe drivers ...... by down here standards.
 
One of them works the pedals while the other does the wheel and gearstick. Neither of them look where they're going .....
 
..... which seems to be pretty much how every other bugger drives down the A30!
 
Don't talk to me about the 'run to the sun', more like the 'one-way ticket to oblivion' if you're forced to drive down here!
 
PPS. Sorry, could be accused of being anti whatsits again but if you had to drive those roads when the bikes, beemers and [illegitimate people] come fizzing down for the summer .....
 
If any legitimate holiday makers are wondering why they always seem to get snarled up in hideous traffic jams heading down here ..... well, don't blame us. The A30 is quite narrow in a lot of places and there's only so much shovelling space.

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