Out For A Duc(k)?


Helen Bristol

08 June 2003 17:40

More promo

Seen in the Observer today - a mini restaurant crit praising the eatery at the Tat.  Thought you'd like that.  I wonder how much that cost.  I doubt whether the Observer crew at their monthly meetings say "Anyone going away in the next few days.  Write a review of some pub or restaurant while you're there, be a luv"  Otherwise all the papers/mags would be chocker with reviews of SI eateries.
 
Met Even-Bigger-Mac and girlfriend, with BM at lunchtime today in a pub where EBM's mate is the chef.  Are baggies de rigeur? Have they replaced the checks?
 
Lots of ex-SI weather racing over here, thanks

Vile Jelly

08 June 2003 22:20

Can't offer an opinion at the nosh at the Tate but it is widely recognised that the only thing worth seeing there is the view from the restaurant!
 
Actually, to be fair they are having a Babs Hepworth expedition at the mo' which definitely is worth seeing.
 
Couldn't tell you what's fashionable in chef circles as we only wear suits with arrows on with a ball and chain ankle motif down the Slurp. We really have black whites (honest!) although at this time of year I compromise by wearing shorts in an attempt to avoid heat exhaustion.

Helen Bristol

09 June 2003 16:49

Yes, the view was mentioned, and I must confess that, apart from a few Leach pieces it was the only thing worth looking at when I visited last year.  I'd love to see the Hepworth expo but won't add to your woes by inflating the no. of ems.
 
The SI Beer Fest looks to have been better organised and better attended than the last one we had here.  Perhaps we ought to try again.  Mind you we don't have the same em prob to swell to numbers. Seem to have accumulated a large number of mugs and straight glasses over the years!

Vile Jelly

10 June 2003 11:31

Acshually, I don't think many regular ems attended. It seemed mostly to be locals and CAMRA ems. Mind you, on the Friday when we were there it was v. hot and sunny so I think most of the ems just headed straight off to the beaches to get lobstered.
 
Feel free to visit the Tat if you want. Despite our fearsome reputation we have not even tar-and-feathered a single em yet, let alone lynched one! See, really we're just cream puffs under our gruff exterior!

Helen Bristol

10 June 2003 18:12

How long is the Hepworth expo on for?  The logistics could be difficult.  Can't really see us getting down 'til the autumn.
 
Am wary of the "yet"! 
 
I've long suspected it .................(the (cream) puffs)
 
Been in Southwold today (work they call it).  The town always smells of malt and brewing.  It was particularly strong this a.m.  Been visiting /staying in the town since I was 3 and that smell brings loads of memories flooding back.
 
PS Noted that the Windsors didn't deem it necessary to visit SI today to boost tourism.  Obviously PDC are doing a better promo job the Berkshire, Edinburgh, Hampshire and Cumbria. I wonder how they chose which places to visit?
 
PPS Having the first local strawbs tonight.

Vile Jelly

10 June 2003 20:47

Not sure about the Heppy Expedition, will try to find out.
 
Why on earth would minor royalty like the windsors (or, in deed, major royalty like the Blairs) come to St. Ives? I think the royal family did visit Cornwallshire at the back end of the Great F&M Year (allegedly King Tony sent Al Campbellone and his heavies to 'negotiate' very reasonable discounts) and launched a lightning raid on the Tat but, as you may know, Prince Chas is the Duck of Cornwall and so probably doesn't feel the need to visit his private back garden. So, you see, all the beach bums come to St. Ives for the surf and all the royal bums don't come to St. Ives because of the serfs!

Helen Bristol

10 June 2003 21:19

Nuff sed!
 
Don't talk to me about Ducs  BM will explain about my linguistic anomilies wen we meet again - his fav story (oh dear)
 
How can you even consider the blairs as major?  apart from as in major disaster? Won't even consider purchasing "Duchy Originals"

Vile Jelly

11 June 2003 08:37

Well, as you may have worked out, I believe in defining people by what they do rather than what they are (or ought to be). Hence, in my book an emmet is not someone who isn't from Cornwall (I'd be one then!) but someone who behaves like an emmet regardless of where they come from.
 
On that basis, the Blahs are major royalty because they act like it and have Al and his henchmen to enforce that impression. Whereas the Windsocks just have to put up with whatever crumbs of regal function T&C throw them. I mean, you don't see the Blahs' sprogs (espec. Spewin' Blair) being constantly persecuted by the tabloids like Bill and Hank are. You see, the paparazzi fear the Blahs and, as the Romanovs/Hapsburgs/Capetians, etc would tell you, the true measure of royalty is how much fear you inspire in your subjects!
 
PS. See, if you can flush Immense IBM out of whatever Adnams Almshouse he is currently skulking in and get him to tell me about the 'Duc' incident. Unless you want to plea-bargain by confessing now?

Helen Bristol

11 June 2003 10:39

It sounds better if someone else tells the tale.  And you already know how brilliant my French is.
 
What at this time in the morning?  Gone to Essex!!  Search party being readied.
 
Of course they do.  Tone's crone is a lawyer.  Anyway why would anyone WANT to snap her with her rictus grin?  The prospect of El Tone becoming El Presidente is almost as unbearable as Chas sitting on the throne.
 
Is it any wonder that you sometimes feel misunderstood when you have your own interpretation of words?  Although I live in Norfolk I don't consider myself  to be a "Norfolk Dumpling" ( no jokes there please).  I suppose in a way I'm sort of stateless.  Londoner born and bred but don't feel any affinity with the place now.  I'm just a Brit or possibly more European, esp. if our Great Leader keeps kow-towing  to GWB.  I feel I belong somewhere when I'm among people I can relate to and who share the same sort of ideas and aspirations, and in the type of countryside that I feel suits me. Thus the flat Linkingshire plain - no, but somewhere wild, and beautiful - yes !!!  

Vile Jelly

11 June 2003 17:15

Aah, but if I didn't interpret my own words then I would be speaking with someone else's words. Personally I would rather be damned (and, in deed, tar-and-feathered and lynched) for something I said rather than something someone else said.
 
"What is truth?", asked Pontius Pilate (or according to St. Ives Skool, Ponchos Pilot). Very clever man. Not only did he ask THE question but he wholeheartedly supported the infant christian religion by giving them the PR opportunity they so desperately craved! Where would the Catholics/Russian Orthodox/CofE, etc be now without his foresight?
 
PS. Spare me the image of Chuck on the throne, please, I've just ate!

Helen Bristol

11 June 2003 17:51

And indeed, where would St. W. be? But see, you've spoken Pilate's words.  Or doesn't quoting count?
 
I've just realised the Pontius Pilate is spelt the same as the exercise thingy.  Gives a whole new dimension to Pilates. 
 
Without Pilate's support they would very probably not be knocking the s**t out of each other/other people, and remember that the Muslims revere Jesus as a prophet.  So possibly the world would be a kinder, nicer place.
 
Sorry about the meal.
 
I'm just off to be coiffed by Robert

Vile Jelly

11 June 2003 18:11

Ah but I always say that if god wanted the world to be a kinder, nicer place he wouldn't have invented religion.
 
Way, way back many centuries ago (not long after the bible began!) Mother was a teacher and (briefly) had a small coffee table paperback of 'things wot kidz rote in skool'. One of the misquotes that tickled me was from an RE essay which went sumpthing like:-
 
"Jesus went down to the Sea of Galilee and said to the disciples, 'Come with me and I will make you vicious old men'."
 
The irony is that, when you think about what organised religion has contributed to human suffering in the last couple of millennia, the kid was absolutely right!
 
PS. Who's Robert and can't you suggest that he take some benylin for that tickling coiff?

Helen Bristol

12 June 2003 17:28

Out of the mouths of babes, etc........
 
Oh, well, Robert and I go way back to when I first came to live here.  Way back then he was in a rock band, Ronnie and the Rufus  (or maybe that was Roofers ( talking as we were about mis-hearing things).  They were good and apparently supported the Quo at gigs.  Still it didn't take off well enough for him to abandon his day job, hairdressing.  I'm sure that the original benylin formula would possibly have been taken in the early days, along with other medicaments, allegedly, but the modern formula is nowhere as interesting as it was. In the same way the Dr. Collis-Brown is now so tame. 

Vile Jelly

12 June 2003 18:23

How was he supporting the Quo? With extra-strong lacquer on their dodgy perms?
 
It must have seemed a bit of a disappointment after the highs of hair-dressing. Fortunately, as you know, I am immune to the siren song of the coiffeuriste!

Helen Bristol

13 June 2003 13:08

That sounds like sour grapes!
 
You may be immune to the coiffeuriste's siren song ( must save you a small fortune) but what about that of the demon barber?

Vile Jelly

13 June 2003 15:15

Actually, it's not sour grapes because the doctor gave me some ointment for them!
 
You people with hair think you're so clever ..... and, in many respects, you must be ..... because I can get it to grow absolutely everywhere except on my head. How do you do it?
 
Believe me, there is nothing worse than being follically-challenged down here. Not for the usual cosmetic reasons but because it means in the Summer that you have to almost permanently wear something on your head if you want to avoid having your brain microwaved. Bandannas are by far the most comfy and effective but they leave you with a horrendous 'tide-mark'.
 
Bah! I blame the government.

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