Kung Food Fighting


Helen Bristol

14 June 2003 14:28

Saffron

Have read your discourse with Maeve. Saffron is the stamens of the autumn crocus. Saffron Walden got its name because they grow in abundance there.  Its a pretty mauve crocus and not the same thing at all as the spring crocus. Hey, you could make your fortune growing the things in Cornwallshire, but rather labour-intensive as the stamen have to be hand picked. Pro'bly find that they don't like granity soil.
 
Off out to spend this evening with foodie friends, something about a Spanish theme so guess we'll be getting a taxi home as they live about 16 miles from here.

Vile Jelly

14 June 2003 19:32

Hell, we can't even grow grass on some parts of Krusty Kernow, let alone flowery things. Still, nun the wiser as to why they went so far at such expense to produce a yellow currant bun. Hadn't they heard of turmeric?
 
PS. Talking of Spanish cuisine have you heard the one about the bloke on holiday with his girlfriend?
 
They go into a restaurant for a meal and, seeking to impress her, he spots one of the locals having a plate piled high with slices of meat.
 
"That looks good," says he to the waiter, "I'll have the same."
 
"I'm sorry, senor," says the waiter, "But that is a local specialty, the spoils of victory from the bullring. That dish was made from the testicles of the bull that was killed today by the matador. There is only one kill and so there is only one meal."
 
"OK," says the bloke, "Can I order the meal for tomorrow, then."
 
And, thusly, did he return the next day for his prized meal.
 
But when the waiter produced the plate it only had some small, shrivelled slices of non-descript meat.
 
"Hey!, what's this," said the bloke, "This isn't the same dish you served up yesterday."
 
"It is, senor," replied the waiter. "Exactly the same, the spoils of victory from the bullring ..... But, hey gringo, sometimes the bull wins!"

Helen Bristol

15 June 2003 21:41

  Or even Haldi or marigolds ( not the gloves)
 
BM not too good overnight but I was asleep so ........
 
.............it was a good meal, think I'll go for tapas this summer

Vile Jelly

15 June 2003 22:12

What's Haldi? A posh mega-cheap supermarket for people from the home counties?

Helen Bristol

16 June 2003 17:16

What , and you a cookperson?  Its the Indian sub-continent ( not sure if its Hindi, Gujarati etc) name for turmeric.  I use the name cos all my spice jars are in a box so I wrote the names on the lids and Haldi is shorter.  Would be a good name for a deli, not quite as twee as "Saffron" or "Thyme and Place"  Anyway why would peeps in the home counties need anything cheap?  So that they can afford a second home in Penwith?
 
Even more promo this weekend in the Observer.  Extolling the virtues of yet another idyllically situated hotel on the edge of the cliff at Porthscatho (it did look fantastic) and surfing at Newquay. It's all very well telling people they should holiday in the UK but Tone's bunch haven't thought about the exercise of pouring a gallon into a pint pot through a pipette

Vile Jelly

16 June 2003 17:58

Pseudo-cookperson, methinks!
 
What, you mean that the august organs of the fifth estate didn't mention that to get to these 'paradises' you only have to get to Cornwall via one of two A roads or one railway line (repairs on the Tamar Bridge permitting)! I think the AA and the Greasy Spoon Cafes will be doing a roaring trade in the Devon/Cornwall badlands this Summer!
 
PS. Ex-Saint Winwaloe didn't like my farewell 'moan' about the cost of housing down here (despite it, oddly for Spooky St. Ives, being entirely factual reporting). Can't see how he can continue to pass himself off as a modern Cornish saint when he is fighting for the demon hordes!

Helen Bristol

17 June 2003 20:29

Will there be curtain rods at dawn?
 
I s'pose if one sets oneself up to rival St Piran and finds oneself associated with, in the eyes of some Ians, the tarnishing effects of the less than perfect, one could get a tad sniffy.
 
I'm a techie equivalent of a grass widow tonite - BM's away with the Germans in deepest sussex
 
Monsooning here at the present, so that's b******d up the alfresco evening meal for one
 
Here in the east there are times, like now, when the wet sky is green.  It was always so.  I suppose its the reflection of the vast acres of maturing crops.

Vile Jelly

18 June 2003 09:12

Well, I was considering having him burnt at the stake but then I thought better of it. Instead, I'll get him and BM down here at the same time and they can duke it out in the Saucy Chef over a burnt steak! To be fair, I did think that his assertion that the locals were 'ripping off' the incomers viz. cost of housing was rather a major fall from Cornish grace. It seemed a bit like the Germans blaming the Allies for the mess Europe was in in 1945! Anyway, he seems to have taken martyrdom on the chin so who knows, maybe he'll make a Lazarus-like comeback.
 
Is BM being 'away with the Germans' a similar metaphor to being 'away with the fairies' or have I grasped the incorrect terminus of the branch?
 
Don't get green skies down here. Get green seas and some cracking red skies (probably due to blazing ships running aground).

Helen Bristol

18 June 2003 09:45

No, literally, away (as in not at home) with the germans ( as in meeting with some german colleagues) so I was on my own. He'll be back some time today. Though I suppose he may also have been away with the fairies but who am I to cast nasturtiums?
 
You get some fabulous sea colours down there.   I'm told, but have never seen it, that the sea here has fluorescence sometimes as well. Our green skies only happen at this time year.
 
T'would be a pity if the ex-saint goes off in a snit.  I enjoy the exchanges.  He only has to read the stuff in the press about costs of living, house prices across the UK, and general things about "getting it right" in tourism to know that its not just Cornwall that's expensive. In the article I was reading Great Yarmouth was sited as a great place to holiday???????? Maybe cos its on my doorstep, but I avoid the place like the plague. I can't imagine looking through a holiday brochure and thinking "that looks nice" but then how often do places turn out to be like the piccie and blurb?  SI has the advantage(?) of having a great reputation and being a fantastic place to be. ( I'll claim my 5% commission when I come down )

Vile Jelly

18 June 2003 11:44

The reckless devil. What was he doing, trying to flog them some fire escapes? Anyway, I'd be careful what you infer, let she who is without sin cast the first nasturtium!
 
What's wrong with Great Yarmouth? We think it's a fantastic place that everyone should visit on their Summer holidays this year ..... as are Hartlepool, Burnley, Stoke, Milton Keynes and, in deed, anywhere that isn't St. Ives! Perhaps we could persuade the Ministry for Rip-offs (er, I mean Tourism) to boost the tourist industry for the rest of the UK by rationing visits to St. Ives. Better still, if we could persuade Don Blaireone to move the 'family' (sans horses' heads preferably) down here, he'd soon make sure that no one else got a look in!
 
Or maybe would could introduce a St. Ives Congestion Charge. If the locals got a tenner in the kitty for every visitor then we'd be able to afford houses (and holidays ...... elsewhere!). Hm, time to assemble a few Checkpoint Charlies on the access roads, methinks. Bwahahaha!

Helen Bristol

18 June 2003 12:30

Not far off the mark............ its something to do with fire protection kit for IT equipment....... they make it and BM and a guy called John will be marketing it in the UK. 
 
I'd be the first to admit that I am far from sinless........anyway, what's wrong with nasturtiums (except that its tricksy to spell)
 
Tell you what - you can have Great Yarmouth, free, gratis and I'll take SI in exchange. Deal?  If the Cumbria plod can close the Lake District, which they seem to do at least once a year (usually the only dry, hot bank holiday) why can't the Cornwall Constabulary close Cornwall?  As you said, it only means blocking a couple of A roads. You could do worse than consulting Red Ken but he'd probably only drone on about friendly amphibians. 
 
They are also boosting hols in Scotland, IOW, Yorkshire..........talking of which BM is off up there tomorrow and, to maintain the balance of power, crossing the Pennines to Rochdale on Friday.  He sure does get about .
 
Would you REALLY want to exchange the visitors you know and hate for Blair One and his crew?  Better the devil ..............etc  

Vile Jelly

18 June 2003 20:41

No, no, no, you misapprehend me. We don't want any other bit of the country ..... we want everyone else to have it ..... and stay there. Well, not necessarily everyone, just the undesirables. Nice people can come down here if they want.
 
Talking of which, as it is now late June the Germans are diminishing and being replaced by hordes of Sagateers down in St. Ives for a spot of sun, sand and sanatogen. Not that I object, per se, to that but, speaking as one who works in a slavery .... I mean, service, industry have you any idea how rude and objectionable some of them are? Did someone bring in a law I missed saying that once you reach retirement age the legal obligations and social mores that apply to everyone else on the planet no longer apply to them? The vast majority of them can't even justify such behaviour on the grounds of mental and/or physical incompetence, they are just taking the piss.
 
Old people, eh? They should be strangled at birth!
 
Of course, I'll be burnt at the scaffold and beheaded on the stake for suggesting such a heretical view that the oldies are milking it for their own benefit but if you consider that a cross-section of every age group up to retirement contains the good, the bad and the ugly, why do we assume that everyone past retirement age is magically transformed into sainthood?

Helen Bristol

19 June 2003 18:33

It is now recognised that the onset of Sagateerism is at age 50.  That means that you have just over 10 years before you too can behave in the same bigotted, rude,and objectionable way as the rest of the sufferers.  Hang on though...............you haven't been sneaking lessons with Lee Strasberg have you?   XX  It would seem that 50 is that watershed when either Life or the onset of Sagateerism begins.  Personally I'd opt for Life but don't let me influence you.
 
You're preaching to the converted - most of my work is with the 50+ group.  Ashley some a quite nice,  some are very grateful (which always gives you that warm comfortable glow) and some are Victor-Meldrew-like which I find refreshing.  Instead of the 'whatever-you-say-nurse' brigade. (Not that I am a nurse, its just that anyone in a vaguely official-looking uniform is a generic "nurse") I'd far rather work with people who are prepared to take control of their lives (the so-called 'difficult' ones) instead of me making decisions for them.  OK they may be awkward, but at that age I certainly won't be an easy patient.
 
PS Do we count as "nice" enough to be acceptable?
 
PPS  BM will be meeting  Herr Knett and Fritz again in Germanland in the next few weeks for further consultations. He'll have to take my Schwarbian Recipe Book (courtesy of a grateful German Student) to get a proper translation of some of the imaginative recipes.  I've a sneaky feeling that it is not to be taken too seriously.  A friend took it to school to entertain the staff and said that most of them nearly choked on their sarnies.
 
Off now to water the greenhouse and then prepare a sumptuous repast for one.

Vile Jelly

20 June 2003 09:09

Personally I think that SAGA is some sort of sinister organisation set up by oldies who get their enjoyment out of life by making sure that no one else gets to enjoy their life. You can see them rolling into town in aircraft carrier-sized coaches (ideal for negotiating St. Ives!) most weekdays (Mondays seem the worst) with malice aforethought, I'm sure. There must be a SAGA brochure for day trips to St. Ives with an itinerary something like:-
 
9.30am Arrive St. Ives
9.30-10.30am Get coach wedged in Tregenna Place, gridlock St. Ives
10.30-12.00am Do Tate
12.00-2.30pm Go to Sloop for soup, crab sarnies or (preferably) anything that isn't actually on the menu
2.30-3.00pm Do Hepworth
3.30pm Meet back at coach park, change incontinence pants
4.00-5.00pm Get coach wedged in Albert Road, gridlock St. Ives
 
Such actions surely can not be seen as evidence of a benevolent nature.
 
Fortunately, just as the oldies have seen off the germans, so the swarms of skool sprogs next month will kill off the wrinklies. Really, David Attenborough ought to do a 'Life in St. Ives' documentary about it, for here you will see all the basest bestiality that humans can muster.
 
Roll on winter!

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