Peace In Our Time?

Helen Bristol

24 August 2003 10:29

Obviously unwelcome in October, then?

Vile Jelly

25 August 2003 09:24

I've checked the Almanac and there's definitely a quiet time .....
..... it's half past three on February 5th.
Obviously a good time to visit, although none of us will be there as we aren't allowed to have any time off work and so have to cram all our holidays into that day!
PS. Heard the usual bleating crap on the radio that 'we don't get enough bank holidays'. Cobblers! Kitchen slaves don't get any and obviously all these poor oppressed office workers are neither poor nor oppressed given the amount of time and money they have available to spend down here.
I've heard that King Tony is on the internet now so Mike and I are thinking of bunging him an e-mail asking why none of all this EU human rights inspired social and employment legislation applies to kitchen workers.

Helen Bristol

26 August 2003 17:05

Is that ack-emma or pip-emma?
It was you that we saw at the weekend in The ******** (ssh mustn't say the Name - let the cat out of the bag) wasn't it?  I said to BM "Look its Jelly" and he said "Don't be stupid, woman" ( he uses such terms of endearment)  But I'm sure it was you trying to ignore me when I waved to you.  Hiding behind your pint of Doom.  Mind you, I haven't seen you for ages so my memory might be a bit foggy, and not having a foty (you must get FE to take one of YOU on your next Big Adventure) 6'3"ish, slim, swarthy complexion, melty brown bedroom eyes, long dark hai................ oops - that's Antonio Banderas, sorry, but the bandanna is a dead give-away  If it wasn't you I wonder who he is.............
In another conversation BM and I tacitly agreed that Soupie (ref 22 August)has to be my doppelganger............he muttered something about geneva

Vile Jelly

27 August 2003 08:43

We won't know until the actual day.
Weekend? WEEKEND! Foolish woman. Weekends out of work are something that happen to other people. Clearly your eyesight is nearly as dodgy as your choice in partners!
PS. Why is BM going to Geneva? Hm, first he hooks up with some Germans, then he starts going on 'field trips' to Europe and now he is off to Geneva. Tell him to bring back a couple of old masters and a gold ingot for us, will you.

Helen Bristol

28 August 2003 17:56

So how the hell are we supposed to arrive in time for the fleeting glimpse?
Not casting nasturshliums about  my eyesight are you - I don't need to be reminded about how dodgy it is - why else would I need a huge sac if it isn't to carry 3 pairs of specs plus all the other stuff that we wimmin have to cart about with us?
 You should've seen the other guys!  Memories are made of this..........:-)
P.S. Hoping to hop across to La belle France in the not too distant future.  I was down at my field yesterday checking the apple crop, picking blackberries and assessing how much gin we need - there's a fantastic sloe crop this year. Back to the Genever again.
PPS BM keeps saying I should get a new retainer ( or even an Igor - yeth thath's a good idea) but perhaps an old master or two would suffice in the short term

Vile Jelly

29 August 2003 15:47

Dead simple. Just stand outside the kitchen window and gawp at us suffering in the slave pits like all the emmets do!
Hate to bugger up your calculations but as far as I am aware there is no such thing as 'enough gin'. Perhaps you could instal a gin version of PLUTO and keep yourself adequately supplied. Otherwise good luck in France. Mind you, with all the recent heatwave shenanigans at least there will be less french than usual cluttering up the place.

Helen Bristol

29 August 2003 17:12

No. NO! Don't you understand?  If we're going to help you enjoy you time( albeit brief) off February 5th we'll need to know a.m.or p.m. 'cos we'll have to leave here on 4th if its a.m. but can have a lie-in if its p.m. It must be a bit like watching reality TV
Quite so, but have  you ever tried convincing HM Customs and Exercise that it really is  ALL for personal consumption?
The main reason for going later in the year is that we'll meet  cheese-eating surrender-monkeys and HARDLY ANY BRITS They'll all still be in SI with any luck.
My brain hurts.  I've been wrestling with statistics for most of the day.  I think they won 'cos the sums don't add up.  How can you have 890 hours available for treatments in a month but when you've subtracted annual leave (this was July remember, skool hols and all that) sick leave and all sorts of other reasons for not turning up at work there were 1076 hours available?  I think the NHS has done rather well out of us. 
Think I'll go and lie down in a darkened room with a glass of something medicinal 

Vile Jelly

29 August 2003 21:53

Yes. YES! You're right ..... I don't understand. But then again, I've done 12 hours today in the slave pits so comprehension is probably not my strong suit here!
Oh, and what's TV? Come to think of it, what's reality?
Good luck with the CESMs, just don't let on that your a rosbif!
PS. Definitely can't do your NHS sum but I think I can help you with the Custards and Exercise bods. It is simple to prove that your supertanker of gin is for your own personal use ..... drink it all in front of them.

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