Soupie Attendant


Helen Bristol

15 September 2003 17:42

Re: I Blame Bill Gates!

Have done.  "Style" depends on whether its yer cheap and cheerful or something with a bit of class.
 
Put 5th October in your diary.  BM says we'll invite you to tea !!!!!!  Assuming you can find a teensie window in your undoubtedly crammed social calender. Have Wussie will travel.  At the very least he'll buy you a pint (of Doom, presumably)
 
PS workmen packing for the day (almost as long as your shifts) so we're off to the Field to inspect the work there.

Vile Jelly

15 September 2003 21:30

5th October. Right.
 
Keep reminding me ..... preferably at five minute intervals as my attention span is completely shot at the moment (we were having a debate in the kitchen this morning as to what day of the week it was ..... we had to work it out but got there in the end!).
 
What will you be wearing? I shall be dressed in blood, sweat, tear and toil-stained chefs whites (which are actually black). You won't be able to miss me, I'm the miserable looking wretch in that pokey little room above the pub.

Helen Bristol

16 September 2003 07:57

OK 5th October.
 
What does it matter what day of the week it is?  You tell us that you work 24/7 for 2/9d.  Doesn't sound as though it would be SAFE to eat at the Sloop.
 
Haven't decided - depends on the chill-factor - mini skirt and crop top might be a tad in appropriate.  I'll be the one with BM in tow.  Might throw in a pink carnation and a rolled up copy of the Idler.  Where is the clock in the Slupe? I'll stand under that.  There, you see, I think I've covered every scenario.
 
PS Picked up your NVQ yet?

Vile Jelly

16 September 2003 17:53

I don't know about eating but it certainly isn't safe to cook there!
 
PS. Don't worry .....
 
..... unless you forget to keep reminding me and I forget to tell her but I'll bring the Soup Dragon down. Since, you're like two peas from the same pod (or bag of frozen peas) the connection should be obvious!
 
PPS. No. The more I work, the less I care about it. Maybe I'll bequeath it to the RT's grandchildren.

Helen Bristol

17 September 2003 07:48

He who is without sin can cast the first stone. I presume you are referring to the proclaimed sweetness, freshness and tenderness of Mr. Birdseye's finest.  I utterly deny any association with Hollands. Howsoever, I'm sure Soupie and I have a lot of catching up to do concerning the escapades of the RT and VJ - really can't work out who leads whom astray.  Oh, and of course, recipes to swap.  So she and I will talk girlie-talk and you and BM can discuss the comparative virtues (?) of various cooking utensils and other such macho things.
 
PS you can only bequeath it if you've got it. 

Vile Jelly

17 September 2003 08:11

Well, I hope you have a good bout of 'girltalk' with Soupie but I think you'll find that she is just as bad as the rest of the RT when it comes to propping the bar up. Mind you, when you've been raised on a planet with whistling mice and an iron chicken I suppose you've got every right to turn to alcohol for comfort and support.
 
PS. I thought I'd just leave them a few cryptic clues and let them make it into a treasure hunt. Not so much King Solomon's as Vile Jelly's School of Mines. I'm certainly feeling pretty haggard these days!

Helen Bristol

18 September 2003 18:00

You'll have to add a ryder to ensure that She (who must be obeyed) is also a beneficiary.
 
PS HRH lived hereabouts. In a local village he is commemorated by road names Ryder Haggard Way, She Close, Solomon Street.  Not a lot of people know that.
 
PPS Shiver me timbers me hearty, you'll be knowing that Friday is national "Talk like a pirate day" Yo ho ho. Won't be difficult at the Slupe
 
PPPS Bm respectfully requests a favour.  You know he's really into soup making and yesterday's conversation triggered a fond memory of Blue String Soup, but he can't remember how to make it.  Can Soupie help?

Vile Jelly

18 September 2003 19:28

Oh dear.
 
I can't believe that the 'powersthatbe' could encourage such a thing like a pirate day.
 
I mean that anyone with a brain would know that real pirates went around shooting, shagging and stealing wherever whomever and whatever they could.
 
Bit like urban Britain these days, would you not say?
 
Why the hell celebrate such a thing?

Helen Bristol

18 September 2003 22:49

It was the bucarnier ( can't remember if that's the right spelling - cutting off/cooking ears) that really got to me - think Johnny Depp as Bill Wyman...... any road up, why not..............national no-smoking-day, national be-nice-to-your-neighbour day, national can't-think-what-to-call-it-but-we'll-have-one- anyway day, apparently there are some folk who's lives are so empty they have to invent "interest" ,as for me, local can-I-have-a-day-off-doing-nothing day(s) would be acceptable, for you aussi One suspects.
 
Why the hell celebrate lots of things? I was going to cite the gun powder plot ..................then thought  - maybe, Mr. Fawkes et al were on to something............
 
Dunno much about urban life these days..........that's why I left the Metrolops, but from what I read and see in the mejia, wouldn't EVER want to return.

Vile Jelly

19 September 2003 21:31

How about National Cookityourbloodyself Day?
 
Also, as S & Y put it in 1066 And All That we celebrate Bonfire Night to remind parliament that it would have been a good thing if the Gunpowder Plop had succeeded!

Helen Bristol

20 September 2003 08:03

I do that every weekday.
 
PS I'm venturing into Brassicaland this w/e, I may be some time..................

Vile Jelly

20 September 2003 08:48

I do it every weekday and weekend so phlbphhhhlbl (or however you spell a raspberry sound!).
 
Don't let the little green buggers nab you. I don't mind going to Iraq, Afghanistan or even the US to rescue you but there's no way I'm going to take on the B's!

Helen Bristol

20 September 2003 11:20

Na, na, nana, na
 
Oooooooo,Paul, I didn't know you cared!   Its not the Bs (why the greengrocer's apostrophe?) that worry me. Its the Cs.
 
PS Should you bump into Soupie could you remind her that BM is still waiting for the Blue String Soup recipe. If its one of those "we-keep-it-in-the- family" things then - change of plan ................ Soupie and BM can indulge in soupy-talk and you and I can have a normal, sensible, sane discussion about world affairs or somesuch ............................on second thoughts sensible and sane are the wrong words for world affairs...............lets just talk about ...............things. 
 
PPS Steeling myself for the off

Vile Jelly

20 September 2003 14:00

Hey, hey, yeh, yeh, kiss him goodbye (or however the accursed Bananarama song went)!
 
Still negotiating with Madame S for Blue String Soup. Are you sure it was a soup, I thought it was a pudding. Unfortunately my sister has the Clangers video and lives in Chorley, which is the other end of the world, so can't refer back. Of course, there's her kids, maybe ..... As I said, fortunately they live in Chorley, which is the other end of the world!
 
Is steeling yourself like steeling a chef's knife? In which case, remember smooth even strokes at the correct angle. Soon you'll be sharper than an Oscar Wilde play folded into a razor blade and soaked in lemon juice! Cast those sprouts back into the hell from which they emerged.

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