"St? Winwaloe"

16 September 2003 09:06

Saintly Thoughts

Ha so Windows Xp or PX has wormed its way to vile Churchtown has it? Well serves you right! Banish it, send it hence or anywhere else you can think of. Having run W98 on the saintly laptop decided to move over to XP - no sooner said than done and no sooner done than the worms came in, worse than that old serpent in the grden this one - result one laptop heading back to the supplier for a bit of debugging. My computer guru tells me that XP is somewhat open to serpent attacks - reloading with W98 methinks.

Lifeguards!!!! - Well you are v fortunate at StI as your lot are usually really good. Problem is lack of education on the part of the sea user and sometimes, just sometimes, how the mesage is put over. However saintly observtion tells me it is not always the ems. Have observed one or two of the (un) natural ihabitants having  bit of a moan as well. Never mind, plenty of room at the bottom of the sea. Now, the bottom of teh sea could be the plae for redruth and Camborne, a soet of modern day Lyoness. Last time I went through it reminded me of certain parts of Liverpool that I once (and only once) winged my way through.  However, loads of money in Cornwall now so get some into the gruesome twosome. As for Truro, some people just don't know how lucky they are. Good luck with the XP and trust all ems have now departed(probably the cooking) - A Blessing on you and yours and local chippies - W
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Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe  

Vile Jelly

16 September 2003 18:07

Personally, I blame you!

Ever since you (XP)wormed your way onto SSI you've been promising miracles to the faithful but just not delivering.

Perhaps you should offer your services to the local lifeguard service. You could man (saint?) the beaches and then whenever some halfwit emmet is drowning you could just part the water and remote-drive their BMW through the gap to rescue them.

PS. What money pouring into Cornwall? The last time I looked we were still England's entry into the Eurovision Poverty Contest!

PPS. Re. cooking, empirical evidence seems to indicate that they are immune to poison (and original thought)!

"St? Winwaloe"

17 September 2003 12:14

There is none so blind as them that can't see!! - Miracles have been happening all around you but you fail to notice them. It may be your lack of belief. Do you clap your hands on a regular basis?? As your
saintly friend is a Governor of the RNLI it beholds me to take an interest in getting the ems out of the wet stuff but only if they deserve it. Most don't. Always found the local lifeguards to be a jolly good lot and they and their friends at the surf school have certainly helped the Winwaloe ets with the surfing (not had to be rescued yet). Now this money thing. Are you so far West or North that the doubloons and pieces of eight have not yet arrived. Money pouring in via European partners and international ems jetting into Newquay International Airport. New hotels and eating places of high degree. World record breaking garden centres and you pretend to be poor!! - May have to go back to calling West Penwith Belerion! Now get up to the border with a big, big bag and get some of eh cash. Or, arm the reporting team and send them of to NIA to bag the tourists off the intercontinental flying machines. Remember St Ives is a place of beauty (and so are some of the inhabitants) A jaffle of ems may look a right wisht  lot but get the money!!!! -Off to do another miracle, suppose YOU will miss it! - W

Vile Jelly

18 September 2003 08:36

But, of course, you should know by now what a septic [sic] I am. Empirical evidence, man, bring me nowt else.

How come you are President of the RNLI? I thought you lived in Buckingham Palace or some other similar lap of luxury in the Big Stench (which is nowhere near the sea). Have you moved or have I been wrong in assuming that you live amongst Steve Harley and the cockney rabble? That might explain why my assassins ..... er, I mean private investigators have been unable to locate you!

PS. I hate to interrupt your delusional state (good mushrooms were they?) but what money? Here's a question for you: What have Harvey the Rabbit, your miracles and the Cornish millions got in common?

A: They are something only one person seems to be able to see!

Last week I took home, after subsidising the war in Iraq, the princely sum of £138.42. Pray tell me how that equates with 'miilions' pouring into Cornwall from the EU and the Ems?

I look forward to your explanation (preferably complete with economic
forecasts and lots of graphs)!

"St? Winwaloe"

19 September 2003 10:20

That much eh? I must move down instanter - Suggest you use some of your hard earned cash to subscribe to Cornish World and Cornwall Today magazines and read all about what is going on in Kernow. Also suggest subscription to Cornish Solidarity and Cornwall Heritage Trust all excellent newsgivers!! - However, your comments cause concern in the land of saints. Are we being mislead as to what is really happening in Cornwall, is this a case of European spin, will the sonics have enough for their next gallon of gin, will the piskies and mermaids rise up and have a fairpay book revolution, will the RT march on Downing Street and hassle the leading moron? will Harvey the rabbit go short of carrots (who the ****** is H the R)????? And, most important of all, where is Andrew MacDonald for the land of the swamp. Not heard from him since July!!!!! - - - - - Now on a Saintly serious note there is much reporting about the money that is supposed to be going into Cornwall via the European funding initiative. There are supposed to be an amount of regeneration projects on the go. All things take time but perhaps it is taking too long. Is there a hold up at local Gov. level?  - Don't know the answer yet but may revert to saint on the wall tactics to find out. I would rather be in St Ives earning x less y than in the Home Counties earning xxxx - Be thankful you are where you are, in fact, be very thankful!!

Vile Jelly

19 September 2003 21:38

Well, I've no idea where the Euroswag is and, believe me, if the RT did they'd be busy swiping it even as we speak (type). Perhaps it is just propaganda put about by the government and other sinister covert organisations to dupe the gullible.

Macdonald is back and his latest oeuvre will be promulgated on the website when I get time to do this week's update (Windies XP permitting). Maybe he will take pity on you and explain who Harvey the Rabbit is/was. I thought a worldly-wise urban sophisticate like you would have a basic grounding in classic cinema. Obviously spending too much time down the country clubshooting peasants [sic] and flaying golf!

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