All Things Bribe And Beautiful


Susanne Woodman

01 March 2002

When's the next installment?

I'm addicted to this website and need my weekly fix. What bribes do you need on a regular basis?

Best wishes

Fortunately for you, Vile Jelly's requirements are few ..... here is a synopsis of the first volume of the things he needs:-

A life
An integrated personality
A job
Food
Beer
Friends
A good gloving
A computer that can cope with the 21st Century
A lucky break
A media break
A break in the weather 
A break in both legs (as voted for by you, the people)
Fame
Fortune
Five quid to get the next round in
Someone to have
Someone to hold
Someone to call the assassins off
A presentable head
A presentable body to attach it to
A sense of achievement
A sense of belonging
A sense of direction
Liberty
Equality
Fraternity

[Volume 2 will follow when scientists can discover a media storage format capable of storing so many neuroses without self-destructing!]

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