Oxford Blues

James Ryall

04 October 2003 03:24

Gnu's from Hoxford

Dear Boy or Anonymous Editor.  Am most impressed with your journal, beats the Grimes and Gecko hands down.  I would like to contribute this missive to your fine journal.  Mr Mogg will do as a nom de plume (although some night recognise me, no worries, I like to stir it).  Below is (hopefully), my first contrib' to your fine site.  If 'tis a bit controversial then edit it by all means.
Ear Boy.  Tis my first contribution to yor fine helectronic paper thing an' I ham all hexcited 'bout tit.  My fingers is tremblin' as I speak (that's my own personal problem) an' I got the tissues ready to wipe the perpesration from my brow.  Now that I av steadied myself I can tipe proper job like.  An' I'm about to swap to my alter heego.
Mr Mogg here dear boys and girls (is that too old fashioned or should I have said in PC luggage dear persons or colleagues?)  Never mind all that tripe an' hunions.  'Tis the first time I have had the pleasure for a man of my age, (but that's my problem) of discovering your fine acidic electronic papyrus.  I am overwhelmed, nay, dirst I say ecstatic with the plethora of fine gossip that pervades your pages.
And (if I may) would just like to add a little tripe of my own.
I was down home recemently in incog incogo ingenital (oh bugger it!), in disguise, and 'ad a good look 'round.  Whot's happened to Fore Street.  'Ave some haliens invaded or 'ave we sold out to hemits (they don't deserve a capital letter) or has all our identity been lost.  I am all for outbreeding but do we have to suffer the same fate as Newquay etc. Even though the large round thing on Porthmeor has brought in some bisness we still need to retain an identity.  A renaissance of skills and soles should be taking plaice and other fish.  Be brave mon brave all is not lost.  Renaissance is on the way (well it will be when I get out of this this wjite jacket they have given me.
From the City of Dreaming Spires
Mr Mogg...

Vile Jelly

04 October 2003 08:46

Cheers, m'dear, for the contribution.
With Jelly-like timing you have just managed to miss this week's update but fear not your invaluable, incalculable and inflatable contribution will be promulgated as of next going to the electronic presses.
The fate of Fore Street seems very much to be the future/doom of St. Ives. Which is to say that everyone (developers, local businesses, local gov, etc.) seems to have their eyes on their bank balance and not on trying to preserve the unique character of St. Ives. The whole Wharf/Fore Street area is now just a mass of restaurants, artyfarty and trinket shops and looks increasingly ever more just like anywhere else. Did you see the item in the news about the Porthmeor redevelopment plan? Another slice of original St. Ives due to go under the axe, no doubt.
The Newquay Effect is a particularly sore subject with quite a few locals as this year we had a bumper crop of riff-raff down in the summer. The town was just awash with lager-filled replica footie shirt wearing oafs. We reckon it's because the New Year's Eve riot has now established itself in the consciousness of the 'party til you puke' brigade and so now St. Ives is starting to attract the sort of hoolies that just used to go and trash Newquay.
Still, as the ems always remind us, think of the money. Which always seems to me the sort of logic that justifies prostitution!
PS. Are the spires still dreaming? They've been at it for centuries. What are they, narcoleptics?

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