Reading The Riot Act

Balinder Kaler Blake

25 November 2003 12:25

St Ives New Years Eve

Have you got any hot tips for us ? looks like you guys know the place back to front ?

Vile Jelly

25 November 2003 13:09

Yeah, I hear that Edinburgh is the place to be.
However, if you abolsutely insist on coming I would suggest the following:-
Take out lots of life insurance and make sure your will is up to date.
Be prepared to kick, punch and bite your way through the crowds.
Be prepared for aforementioned crowd to do likewise to you.
Do not try to get into any of the pubs for a drink unless that is the only drink you want all night.
Do not expect to find many (or any) locals, most of them will be in hiding.
Do not sit on the ground anywhere unless you want to spend New Year's Eve in the Edward Hain having glass splinters pulled out of your bum.
Do not attempt to drive into town.
Bring a lifejacket if you don't swim very well because the tide is going to be in.
Do not wear fancy dress that is sea/rain/beer absorbent unless you want to spend New Year's Day in the Edward Hain with pneumonia.
Do not bring anything (clothes/jewellery/money/friends/family) that you are not prepared to risk losing permanently.
I think that just about covers things you'll need to know to survive the first 30 minutes. If you last longer than that you'll just have to improvise!

Balinder Kaler Blake

25 November 2003 14:24

I think we need to have a couple of plans  then . The St. Ives street party could be great OR could be a total nightmare, I think we should head over at 9ish and then try to see some fireworks at 12.00. Then back to a late license bar or club in Penzance ?

We are staying in Penzance, there must be something nice to do that doesnt involve glass in your rectum ? 

Is it really that bad ?

Vile Jelly

25 November 2003 15:11

It has got too popular for its own good. Even the filth are now admitting that if trouble kicked off they'd be right up a certain creek without any means of propulsion! It's getting a bit like Glasto when they finally decided to pull the plug and not have the next one rather than court the big disaster.
I don't know how you are planning to get about because you'll have bugger all chance of a taxi and all of Downlong is closed to traffic after (I think) 4pm. P'zance should be fine as all the thuggies and druggies there seem to decant to St. Ives in preparation for an almighty punch-up with rival gangs from Hayle, Camborne, Redruth, etc.
Of course, some people enjoy this sort of stuff but most of the locals now seem to treat it as a Cornish version of Passover, when they retire to their homes and pray that the angel of death gives them a miss!

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