08 December 2003 10:34
Re: New Year
Depends who else is in the Saintly sleigh - is there a girl down the chip
shop who thinks she's Jordan?
By the way, it's no good you keep on sludging off St Michael's Mount. This is
where an even greater manifestation than my own took place, i.e St M himself to
a couple of local (not St Ives) fisherman. I accept that unlike St P, St M did
not have a pretty flag and this St M has ****** all (got this one from the
skateboarders)to do with dragons but he is still your real patron Saint so, be
kind to him.
Now about these skate boarders, firstly why don't they slip off? Also, if your
local fisher chaps stopped landing skate there wouldn't be any available for
them on which to afix short planks. They could of course invent cod boarding,
plaice boarding or possibly even haddock boarding. My Saintly friends and I draw
a very thick line on Monk fish boarding and they can also get their finger tips
of John Dory! I read somewhere that St Ives supported Cromwell in the civil war.
If this is correct it explains all the trouble you have now and you probably
deserve it. Sir Bevil Grenville forever!!!!
08 December 2003 12:00
Me? Slag off St. Mike's Hump?
Perish the thought. Although, I must say that I do question some of his saintly
powers. For instance, he can't have been very good at navigation or geography as
he has two humps. One in Cornwall which he inexplicably placed next to that dump
called Penzance and the other in Brittany which he inexplicably placed next to
that dump called France. Maybe, like a good bag lady, he just liked dumps.
Also, I thought it was St. Georgeopopdopolis who fought El Draco. Thought St.
Michael just ran a department store.
PS. Not sure who St. Ives played for in the Polite War. Probably against whoever
was running the country at the time as that seems to be a Cornish tradition.
Anyway, what's wrong with supporting Olly? The man was a genius and a true
patriot. If it wasn't for him England would have been ruled by French catholics
instead of German protestants! Old Bev just blew his chance. He should have been
fighting for Cornish independence not wasting time up country routing roundheads
on behalf of absolutist arseholes.