Compliments Of The Treason


08 December 2003 10:34

Re: New Year

Depends who else is in the Saintly sleigh - is there a girl down the chip shop who thinks she's Jordan?

By the way, it's no good you keep on sludging off St Michael's Mount. This is where an even greater manifestation than my own took place, i.e St M himself to a couple of local (not St Ives) fisherman. I accept that unlike St P, St M did not have a pretty flag and this St M has ****** all (got this one from the skateboarders)to do with dragons but he is still your real patron Saint so, be kind to him.

Now about these skate boarders, firstly why don't they slip off? Also, if your local fisher chaps stopped landing skate there wouldn't be any available for them on which to afix short planks. They could of course invent cod boarding, plaice boarding or possibly even haddock boarding. My Saintly friends and I draw a very thick line on Monk fish boarding and they can also get their finger tips of John Dory! I read somewhere that St Ives supported Cromwell in the civil war. If this is correct it explains all the trouble you have now and you probably deserve it. Sir Bevil Grenville forever!!!!

Vile Jelly

08 December 2003 12:00

Me? Slag off St. Mike's Hump?

Perish the thought. Although, I must say that I do question some of his saintly powers. For instance, he can't have been very good at navigation or geography as he has two humps. One in Cornwall which he inexplicably placed next to that dump called Penzance and the other in Brittany which he inexplicably placed next to that dump called France. Maybe, like a good bag lady, he just liked dumps.

Also, I thought it was St. Georgeopopdopolis who fought El Draco. Thought St. Michael just ran a department store.

PS. Not sure who St. Ives played for in the Polite War. Probably against whoever was running the country at the time as that seems to be a Cornish tradition. Anyway, what's wrong with supporting Olly? The man was a genius and a  true patriot. If it wasn't for him England would have been ruled by French catholics instead of German protestants! Old Bev just blew his chance. He should have been fighting for Cornish independence not wasting time up country routing roundheads on behalf of absolutist arseholes.

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