Don't Ring Us ...


21 December 2003 15:00


Well like gentlemen Saints always prefer blondes (unless there is a redhead about) but marry brunettes - this explains much of their unhappiness!! - Re the Mystery Play - It's a mystery how that wisht lot write anything at all. Ending is no problem as it will be closed down by the though police any day now.

Nadelik lowen ha blyden nowydh

NB is there any truth in the rumour that Elvish originated from Cornish? - If so, I may have to brush up with Arwen

Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe   

Vile Jelly

22 December 2003 09:17

Don't worry, I plea-bargained our continued liberty by providing the gestapo with contact details of all the people who have been in touch with the resistance. They're probably upstairs truncheoning Mrs W and the saintlets even as we speak! Anyway, which version of the mystery play did you read, the one with the missing crucial chapter or the correct version which I promulgated yesterday?

PS. Talking of Nadelik Lowen you can buy pints of the aforementioned xmas spirit courtesy of Sharps. Had a pint of it yesterday in the Golden Liar. It is a very tasty and nutritious winter warmer. Just what a recuperating invalid needs to replenish the energy reserves (and get a good night's sleep!).

PPS. Don't brush with Arwen, use Colgate it prevents fillings and gives you a fresh breath ring of confidence. And, yes, Cornwall is home to the
denizens of Middle Earth (when not filming on location in New Zealand). How else could we have a type of rock called Blue Elven? Unfortunately, they are currently fighting a losing battle against the hordes of orcs who overrun the place every year, hence the unofficial Cornish road-planning prayer:-

One ring road to fool them all
One ring road to fine them
One ring road to collect them all
And in a traffic jam bind them


23 December 2003 10:18

Glad you didn't mention the cavities!! - Have a very good Christmas and New Year (try and stay out of the harbour) and watch for the fiery chariot descending from       

Vile Jelly

23 December 2003 11:37

Wasn't he the mystery cat?

I will endeavour to feel some small frisson of pleasure over the festering period, if you insist.

In the meantime, do feel free to have a not totally intolerable time yourself. Good luck surviving a family crimbo with Mrs. W and the saintlets.

PS. They don't know about you, Ms. Zennor and the mackerel, do they?


29 December 2003 11:47

Crimblemass survived - Don't mention the Mermaid!

Vile Jelly

29 December 2003 18:27

What mermaid?

PS. If it is true, wouldn't that make you a relative of the East Angularians? Surely the Mac-donalds must be related to the Mac-kererls!

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.