Happy Nuke Year!


Winwaloe

12 January 2004 09:00

Re: Vile 04 where are you?

I can understand why the RT got confused. The Saintly library has a number of old books and I am sure the pearls and feet spell is mentioned in one of them. Being a quality Saint I only read the quality papers (WMN, Cornishman ) so missed the piece in the St Ives paper (mainly property pages isn't it?) by this Toni person (surely Toni with an "i" is the female of the species)so your remark is lost on me (and all other scholars and thinking personages). However, if it was anti Saint then beware !!

Vile Jelly

12 January 2004 09:50

No, he's definitely a bleurk but he spells it with an 'i'.

Anyway, how dare you not read the Times & Echo? You should be supporting the local economy (and boosting the readership so we can get a job as reporters!).

Anyway, enjoy ...

echo1.jpg (102020 bytes)

Winwaloe

12 January 2004 14:01

Oh well that's him (her??) done for. The reference re pagans will cause all sorts of offence. No doubt those brave and stalwart souls of whatever equality board are already sharpening their talons and pens ready to have Toni defrocked, removed, struck off, hammered out or whatever they do to scribes in St Ives. Suppose he and RK-S could set up a new and radical newspaper but they would have to do it offshore (The Island?) -

Vile Jelly

13 January 2004 10:48

I'd have thought he'd be alright actually, given that  it was recently revealed that it is now permissible to slag off every type of religion except the muzzies. And since they don't drink they'd actually be quite welcome down here on New Year's Eve.

Mind you, if they bring their SAMs with them and take a few pot-shots at the Yanks at St. Mawgan we could have our greatest (and last) ever firework display!

Winwaloe

13 January 2004 11:58

Winwaloe enterprises invites you take part in a great money maker. The Fireworks Show To End Them All. - What we do, (you will be an Associate of Winwaloe Enterprises) is to advertise this beyond the Tamar borders and fill the whole of Cardboard Bay with assorted emms, grockles, furiners and other assorted types. The muzzies and the Yanks are booked for a strategic meeting of their latest hardware, nukes or bugs and the dispaly begins. Winwaloe Enterprises has sold thousands of tickets at £20 a time (remember this is teh show to end all shows) and have now handed over to the main participants. Winwaloe Enterprises Logistics Dept. calculates that if we are down to Sennen that evebing we should be OK (nuke suits are provided anyway). With the latest clean nukes ST Ives should be fairly OK and the RT, also dressed in nuke suits, can volunteer to clean up. So, problems solved, no more emms, no more strategic participants and wehave loads of money. Winwaloe Enterprises PR Dept. has just pointed out that the Yanks will be firing our way and, due to their world beating friendly fire record, it may be safer for the company to move to Norway for that evening (or was it Norfolk?) -

Vile Jelly

14 January 2004 10:15

Sounds like a bargain to me and if we manage to pull it off we'll be able to change the name of the pub in Sennen to The Complete Success Inn!
 
The only problem I foresee is how do we get the RT out of the Old Success to go and do the cleaning up?
 
In the meantime, we have come up with an advertising slogan to attract the ems and others who are hard of understanding:-
 
COME TO BEAUTIFUL, HISTORIC ST. IVES
 
Get pissed and trash the place
 
Meet up in Cardboard Bay for preliminary orientation meeting and introduction to basic mindless destruction
 
Free Firework Spectacular in the evening!

Winwaloe

15 January 2004 08:42

Point taken re the RT, however suggest we tell them there is free beer in St Ives for those that help. It might be nice to involve some of your other fans. Andrew MacD could entertain on the Cornish pipes (what he does with them is up to him but we know what these East Anglecan types are like when it comes to entertainment), Maeve Colley Wobbles could sell apples and celia crab (whomever) could sell shellfish, all adds to the gross profit!! -

Vile Jelly

15 January 2004 10:20

Yes, but by the time the festivities in St. Ives have subsided the RT may not be capable of walking/flying/slithering/etc. back to clear up the mess. Best we just sell the tons of toxic radioactive crap to the Tate Modern. In your mackerel-filled cassock you could easily pass for a conceptual artist!

Not sure that we have got a set of Cornish pipes handy but failing that we can get Mr. Mac to strangle Jethro. There must be more than one way of getting hideous shrieks out of an old windbag!

PS. As of last going to press Mad Maeve had been dragged away by wild horses ..... or was it Whitehorses? Anyway, her availability may be in doubt.

Winwaloe

16 January 2004 14:50

Is Mr Mac really an old windbag and is Whitehorse(s) a local whisky ? -

Vile Jelly

16 January 2004 17:19

I was, of course, referring to Jethro not Mr. Burgerking as you well know,
you naughty saint-person.

As far as I know there is no local whisky. Presumably the local minebillies (like hillbillies only underground) ferment and distil some concoction of tin ore and blue elvan. Then, of course, there is the legendary Spingo Well for the discerning ...

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

 
I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.