Vile Jelly

15 February 2004 17:33

Well, if it's any constipation to you, life down here is a bowl of dog turds at the mo. This morning my sister (currently visiting with sprogs) decided to go AOT and badly chinned herself. The Edward Hain was shut (natch) so it was off to West Cornwall. Eight stitches and over 4 hours in casualty later .....
 
So much for a quiet Sunday. I don't know about a cup of cheer but you are more than welcome to metaphorically join me in the bucket of suds I am quaffing as I type to soothe my ruffled whatsits.
 
Wassail! (or however you spell it).

Helen Bristol

16 February 2004 18:04

Re: been away

Thanks but I'd rather not have constipation if its all the same to you.  Twas early this morning when I read your emu. It took me a while to work out AOT but even in my usual dopey early morning state I got there.  I bet she's a tad sore at the moment.  Still she's got her ever-loving brother to keep the sprogs occupied! and ply her with soothing balms.
Don't like to mix my drinks but I was on el vino last night, but thanks for the thought.  It must have been a mighty big bucket if the 2 of us would fit into it!  Have you calmed down now? Or will you have to take some more calming medicine tonight?
 
I never received the last emu you sent that you promulgated.  For some reason best known to BM his 'puter picked up the email (we're networked you know) while I was away and he forward it to my 'puter, deleted it from his and when I got back there were 3 emus from him on mine as he'd been testing something-or-other. He said he'd finished with them so I cast them into the recycle bin, kapput, gone And there was me thinking it very strange that you hadn't replied.

Vile Jelly

17 February 2004 08:46

She looks like Jimmy Hill at the mo. Had a night of torment and anguish with the sprogs last night. Why on earth is child abuse illegal? It ought to be compulsory. Much more soothing medicine was required after we finally got them sellotaped into bed!
 
Well, if you will share your computer with disreputable types ..... Do you get all his dodgy porno e-mails sometimes?

Helen Bristol

17 February 2004 18:43

Was the soothing medicine for you or the sprogs after the trauma of being confined to bed? How old are they?
No, I told you we don't seem to get any spam, there's a little imp inside the computer who collects them all and hoards them, probably the one who's responsible for the My Doom virus. Anyway, I don't share my 'puter only the network, at least I think that was the deal but as it was supplied by his company I'd better not stir up too much trouble. Mind you, I had to sleep with the boss to get it!!
 
Well, what a day.  Part of the hospital was broken into last night and some of my treatment equipment nicked.  The young PC (they ALL look young these days) is hopeful I'll get it back - I'd rather it was not recovered, then I can get an upgrade.
 
Swimming tonight.  Virtually had the pool to one's self.

Vile Jelly

17 February 2004 18:51

Oh, strictly for me. It required an awful lot of sellotape and once you've bitten into 60 gazillion strips of sticky tape you need an awful lot of solvent to get that taste out of your mouth.
 
There's virtually nothing worse than having your equipment nicked, other than having your equipment constricted which is extremely eye-watering I can assure you. How come the filth thought you'd get your gear back? If they're anything like the filth down here then the only chance of your swollen goods being recovered would be if they can persuade their relatives to flog it back to you.
 
PS. I told you that Great White Shark swimsuit would clear the place!

Helen Bristol

18 February 2004 18:12

What? Do you mean to tell me you haven't one of those dispenser thingys with a ziggy-zaggy cutting edge?
 
But, oh, the relief when the constriction is eased!!  Well, its like this... no, BM wants to tell you all about it.  I'll just say that in order to reach my computer he/they had to walk past 2 much more up-to-date computers, a hi-fi and a big TV. NFL.
 
PS Don't need no Great White Shark suit - a beswim-suited Great White Helling is enough to scare the hardiest of men.

Vile Jelly

19 February 2004 09:20

How many times do I have to tell you ..... it's the third world down here. Of course we don't have ziggy-zaggy sellotape dispensers. Nor do we have access to blutac, so we have to use bogies!
 
NFL? What has american football got to do with tea-leaves filching your beige beast?
 
PS. Any truth in the rumour they broke in via that brand new fire escape that had only just been installed by some suspicious character whiffing slightly of real ale?

Helen Bristol

19 February 2004 18:58

Make the most of it before the EU gets obese.  Apparently you will lose your third world status and all those squillions in grants and aid when even more countries come under the All New EU umbrella.  They have more need of help than Cornshire.
Oh yukky.  I won't be removing any pictures off your walls then.
 
NFL has niet to do with that damned yankee game. Its the terribly un-PC 'normal for Lowestoft', which I haven't said as such biased terminology is slapped wrist or worse time.
 
PS No, ashley they climbed the walls using some IT trunking that BM &co installed some years ago in one of his former lives and this was the first time it had ever been used.  The said equipment could really do with a pricey up-grade so this is a golden opportunity if only plod lives up to its usual crime detection rate. Talk about bolting the stable door...... all the windows now have locks.
 
PPS Hope sibling Kelly is on the road to recovery. Nasty experience ............... having to go to the West Cornwall

Vile Jelly

20 February 2004 09:26

I'm sure we can rely on Toe and Cherry to defend us from invading hordes. They're experts at defending the country from threatening pieces of paper that form themselves into dossiers of mass destruction.
 
But surely you can use NFL now as it can't be un-PC because they've now got a PC .... yours.
 
PS. So, they clambered up BM's trunk, eh? I'm sure there's got to be a joke in there somewhere but I am still besprogged and have lost my usual 'joie de mourir'. Still, yet another argument for upgrading to wireless technology!
 
PPS. Especially as it involved being incarcerated with Penzance trolls for hours on end.

Helen Bristol

20 February 2004 17:39

Just get Cherry to gurn at them.
 
Well, no they haven't - plod's got it now - damn- and I've got to go and identify it.  s'pose I could deny its mine.  Or at least claim its irrepairably damaged.
 
PS welcome to the real world - and you thought the RT were hard work.  something to do with scotsmen and kilts ....

Vile Jelly

21 February 2004 09:22

No, I thought the RT would be a lot less work than sprogs. That's why I adopted them!

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