Dear Jelly of Blue Chimney Stack Mansion

 

I have to say I much preferred your previous house, but then again I guess I would as it turns out we used to be (or still are?) near neighbours as we own the house next door-but-one to your previous home.  In fact, I think I might have spoken to you in the past about scheming a car parking pass from the council for the old timer's car park.

 

If indeed I am right (and my conversation with Harding on Friday seemed to confirm that I am) then I hope that my letterbox is safe from infringement in future [no letterbox is safe from Orm, he will go to any lengths to squeeze information out of people] as we could have had a beautiful neighbourly friendship!

 

Was it really you?

Alan Spencer
(aka the Twickenham Seagull)

What can we say but repeat the immortal words of Pope John-Paul Lennonandmccartney, "nothing is real and there's nothing to get hung about" (unless you are Derek Bentley!).

 

On the other hand, Jelly had so many conversations about the injustice of St. Ives parking for actual real-time residents last year that we hope you will pardon us (as Timothy Evans said!) if the exact details of that particular conversation do escape the tattered shreds of Jelly's few remaining braincells. Can you remember what he looked like? (He can't, but if you do, then that might jog his memory and, if nothing else, he will be able to remember what he used to look like).

 

PS. The chimbley was an accident. It was supposed to be white but the exterior painters got over enthusiastic. You see, the real house name means 'Blue House' which is an 'in-joke' because the house name is on the front but it is only the back that is blue. (Of course, the place is currently residing under its temporary, but linguistically correct, name of 'Chy An Sort Glas', which as any person of quality knows means 'The House of the Blue Hedgehog'). Anyway, unfortunately, the painters got carried away when they were doing the back of the house and didn't stop until they reached the sky.

 

PPS. You shouldn't believe everything Harding says. He will do anything for a sale (or a bottle of rum!). I hope you didn't fall the 'I used to be Mayor of St. Ives' story or the unfeasible nautical anecdotes. He is a true legend of St. Ives and a man of many (and varied) talents ..... but none of them appertain to computing!