30 March 2004 15:21
Skates, wings and boarders
Having sought enlightenment form the Saintlets I understand that your hatred
for Boarders is due to you being a Townie or, very possibly, a gay Goth. So, now
30 March 2004 16:20
Urk! What age did you say the sprogs were?
31 March 2004 11:05
It seems The World of Kevin is populated by Skaters, Townies and Goths. My understanding is that Skaters are tops, Goths are OK but Townies are right gays. Your definition of Gay as uncool is quite correct! Re the sacking of Rome, who is he and what did he do wrong? -
31 March 2004 12:08
Well, he was this empire, y'see. He'd inherited the family business which had
been running successfully for several centuries but he turned out to be
completely useless and so Mr. Alaric T. Goth (late of Germania) sacked him and
took over. Bloody Germans, eh? Just seem to have this compulsion to occupy other
people's countries! Anyway, they got their comeuppance when the Huns turned up
and trashed what was left of the place after the Goths settled down with their
pipes and slippers expecting a comfortable retirement.
31 March 2004 15:12
12 & 14 - - The Saintly brain has been working on your problem and has an
answer. Suggest you organise an official skateboard rally. Then, and here is the
cunning bit, tell the local plods that the rally is a great Cornish tradition to
commemorate the fact that the Skateboard was actually invented by a Cornishman.
If you can convince them that the rally has, in fact, been going on for several
years without any problems or mishaps so much the better. St. Ives finest will
then pull the "Health & Safety" cracker and out will jump all
sorts of reasons why it, they, them, those etc.etc. should be banned. Should
work I feel.
31 March 2004 17:28
I would (but won't be allowed to) like to think of myself as a fair jelly. What I despise is not emmets, children, saints, WPCs, skateboarders, etc. but hypocrisy and stupidity wherever they occur. Unfortunately the last two are the foundation of modern government, society, TV, etc. and so I appear to face my final curtain.
Which is, in some ways, a pity ..... because just as I thought I had you safely pinned in the corral of chilling logic, you decide to finally manifest your psychic powers!
A meeting took place at the Guildhall on Monday between the ungruntled resis, the police, town and district council, at which many words were spoken but my spies inform me that:-
Now, call me a git (feel free, everyone else is) BUT had the police been prepared to come forth and publicly admit the latter statement I would have been glad to aid SSI's feeble support to the former. However, as the Russians discovered at Stalingrad, when you're under siege you don't waste time worrying about the welfare of the 'enemy at the gates'. As far as I am concerned, at this stage, if the powers-that-be are responding its only because pressure was brought upon them. [My spies also report that the main contribution of chief exec of Penwith District Council, Jim McKenna, was to bemoan what it would cost "him" if St. Ives had an official skateboard park built].
I doubt I'll still be around to see what happens but it will be fascinating to see if PDC (or any other civil authority) torpedoes the plan or if 'the angry residents of the houses around the Rugby Club' break out in NIMBYism. Then what?
A bientot. mon ami.
PS. Sloop on life support. Irish Mark (he of The Union fame) has temporarily stepped up pending some berk coming forward for the official job. [£30,000 per annum as widely advertised in the local classifieds. The bar staff get less than a fiver an hour so whoever ultimately succeeds is going to have an interesting challenge in building team spirit!].
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