26 April 2004 13:10

Vile is back, back back, vile is back, back, back

So you are back then. I thought that this time the Knockers had got you and that you would be in the Belerion version of Azkaban for good. I suppose you have read the Northern Lights and used the magic knife
to cut your way out. Understand the reporting team thought it something to do with a railway carriage. The idea of the PiskiePorn web site was never very good in the first place as they just do not lend themselves to that sort of thing. Hope all he pix are now off the site. RE teh chappie who needed the dentist, could you not have sent him to see the lovely lady with the winning expressions? Rather like drawing teeth methinks. Keep up the good work - and remember the new Cornish motto - Ems and All - -
Benatugana - Tereba nessa - Winwaloe   

Vile Jelly

26 April 2004 14:04

Me? Hell, no! Who told you that?

No. I smacked his owl with his flying mop and sent him back to boarding school to go and look for the soap in the showers with the senior boys! Thank god Rowling's got writer's block and the torrent of drivel is drying up. Hopefully HP can soon be safely cast into the eternal oblivion of childish fads.

No idea what you are blathering about. What bloke, what teeth, what lady, what smile?

PS. Made a disturbing discovery the other day. What are the two greatest evils inflicted upon St. Ives? Ems and seagulls. And how are seagulls flying in the distance represented in piccies? By drawing a load of ems! Coincidence or conspiracy? Or just conclusive proof that horribleness is em-shaped!


27 April 2004 10:13

Don't you ever read the news on your website?

Vile Jelly

27 April 2004 14:24

Of course not, I just speed-type the fings wot the Reporting Team writ.

Actually, I didn't think you read the bulletins which was why they were the last place I thought of looking for information to help me decipher the crypticness (crypticity?) of your latest burble. Anyway, so we've established who the bloke (or bloke-ess) with the teeth was, now who is the lady with the winning expressions? Everyone I know regards with me with expressions that could only be described as disapproving and scornful. Certainly not winning!


28 April 2004 14:57

I mean the lovely lady who likes boarders and has such a wonderful vocab. Of course I read the website, it's much more interesting than the emails as only mine seem to make any sense at all - How's the hole in the
Tesco parcark?

Vile Jelly

28 April 2004 17:45

Oh, she's still around. I've been trying to encourage her to move to your neck of the woods. Sorry, but it was you or the Reporting team and as a responsible foster-parent ..... !

Anyway, I thought you'd be fairly safe as your gamekeepers would pot any intruders they found in the grounds. And even if an intruder got to the house there'd be no one in as you'd be out flogging copies of The Mission, The Watchtower, The Concise Dictionary of Cornish Expletives, etc., Mrs W would be down the WI (or the gamekeeper's lodge!) and the saint-sprogs would be out on the streets riding alcopops, drinking glue and sniffing skateboards!

Wheal Tesco has been covered over but we still await the great day when the whole thing slides down the hill and ends up on the beach of Cardboard Bay.


30 April 2004 13:52

Well not so much game keepers, The advantage of being of a Saintly nature is that the heavenly bodies look after you and guard you from, well, just about anything really. Mind you, the otherside applies as well of course and it does limit one's ability to sow and harvest. Did you know that great, adopted, Cornishman R S Hawker devised the Harvest Festival as we know it today? According to my Cornish Almanac you should be out gathering leaves of Elder today so I hope you have sent the RT out to do so, it would, at least, give them a task of some use. Equally I expect you to raise a glass on May6th and hope for a reincarnation of the facts; that will see the end of Blair (not the witch variety although if the RT get in the Elder that can also be accomplished). Re your rambling on the ems situ. In one of my books, I think by DvB there is a letter written about the Cornish by an artist or writer (or similar) it is rather funny. When I can find it I will direct you that way. Glad you are back but do suugest you stay away from the naughty Piskie website, the pix will always find you out - - Long Live the King (last seen up Zennor way) -

Vile Jelly

30 April 2004 15:17

I didn't know tins of Heinz Baked Beans had been invented in Mr. Hurricane's time.

And why he did he invent it today? It's April the bloody 30th! Couldn't he read a calendar? Even the Shauns know that harvests happen in Autumn. Now, if he'd invented the Beer Festival rather than the Harvest Festival more people would have remembered Mr. Typhoon. Anyway, a propos of the elder leaves and witchery, it's actually Walpurgisnacht tonight so I've got a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Tempest may have had more diabolical activities on his mind if he was abroad today!

What were you doing in Zennor (would have thought you'd be in Camborne getting all steamed up on T day)? Did you check out the 'all new' Tinners Arms? Did you visit Ms. Mermaid and the mackerel?

PS. Why don't you write an oeuvre on Mr. H and I'll promulgate it on SSI for you.

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