25 May 2004 09:13
Why would you want to strangle elephants? And how many elephants do you actually get in St Ives?
So it might have been Lucy? she's really got it in for you hasn't she?
Grill Shaun on his own or with the rest of them and isn't that a bit excessive? i know cornish lamb is particularly nice at this time of year, but to eat your own.....
25 May 2004 14:33
After a long, hard day of kitchenery I usually feel in the mood to strangle just about anything the crosses my path. Not many (there are a couple in an old b&w photo in the Union) but, then, would you come to St. Ives if you knew you were at risk of being strangled?
She's a hard woman. All I suggested was that she needed to be a bit more extrovert and offered to help her come out of her shell ..... !
Ah, yes, I see what you mean. I just meant grill him in the Gestapo light-shone-in-eyes way. I would never eat one of the Reporting Team. They'd nail me first for a kick-off.
26 May 2004 14:18
Well i was planning to come down in July but now i know about you perhaps i'd better not. Does the promise of a pint or 10 make you any less of a worry?
...and into a pan of boiling water?
That's ok then. I did think you were hoping a bit, having to get past them first and all that.
How would you like to take a break form it all and come up here to be QM to a load of Guides?
27 May 2004 15:15
Well, you should be safe from me (especially if tranquilised with ale) ..... provided you don't look like an elephant!
Perish the thought. No, I wanted to do something nice for her but couldn't think what. So, I thought about what blokes often order in restaurants to impress the gurls and offered her a nice comfy nest of lettuce leaves, a slice of lemon to use as a pillow and some Marie Rose sauce in case she got peckish. Honestly, you make all that effort and you just get slapped down .....
Oh, they'd easily overpower me. Particularly if they breathed on me!
QM? Quarter Master? Queen Mother? Quick Massage?
27 May 2004 15:42
I certainly don't look like an elephant. I'm not grey for a start.
Yes....I'd think that one through a little more if i were you.
I was thinking Quarter Master. I'm on Guide camp next week and i could do with a bit of sanity (and decent food, but don't tell the current QM that!), but as you mentioned it, I am going to have a massage this afternoon to get me all set up for it.
So you have to look after the world again next week whilst i'm away. Don't pick it or it may turn septic. Have fun.
28 May 2004 09:10
What do you mean? Elephants are pink. Or the RT tell me that the ones that the RT keep seeing when they leave the Sloop are!
Curses! No wonder I never get anywhere with the girly-blokes. Perhaps I should just stick to what I know; beer and sport.
Hm, I'm not convinced it would be that easy to do an outdoor carvery. Where would I plug the hot-plates in for a start? I think you'll just have to stick with cold baked beans, semi-raw sossijs and cremated jacket potatoes. Oh, and alka-seltzer. Couldn't you just do what the teachers do and make up some spurious field trip and get the sprogs to wander annoyingly around town with a clipboard (to hit each other with) and a few crayons (to nibble on if they get the munchies) while you spend all day in the pub?
What do you mean IT might turn septic? How callous of you. We obnoxious hideous blobs have feelings too, you know!
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