Helen Bristol

30 August 2004 16:23

Re: heroes and Villains

I've been thunking hard about the critique...was this supposed to be of VJ, the RT, SSI, or just things and stuff?  My body aches too much for my brain to function properly, from (for me) longish walks.  (The wallet is also feeling very flat - I bought a telescope on Saturday - better than BM's 'scope so I might need a knight in shining armour to defend it and me - but at least I resisted the siren call of the Swarowski)
 
Did they have Lonely Planet Guides then? 

Vile Jelly

31 August 2004 09:34

A critique of VJ, RT, SSI, life, the universe and everything of course. Although it would be difficult for you to do a critique of Yours Falsely as you'd either have to say how wonderful I am (which would be a lie) or how vile I am (which would confirm what I've been saying all the time)!
 
Is that the scope with infra-red, thermal imagining, laser-guided targeting and an electronic tagging device for locating the corpse of your target? I'd have thought they'd be going quite cheaply now that they've decided that they don't make smart bombs any smarter than the idiot dropping them. Do you favour shotguns or high-power rifles as your bird-hunting weapon of choice? I was going to use the phrase big bird hunting (ornithological equivalent of big game hunting) but I thought that it might traumatise generations of Sesame Street watchers!
 
Of course, the Vikings invented them (amongst many other useful navigational aids). Top rated place in the 8th century was Lindisfarne which rated an average of 9 out of 10 axes by those who visited it. It scored particularly high for ease of access, wealth of plunder and the local resident religious nutters won the prestigious Victims Of The Year award in WhatPlunder!

Helen Bristol

31 August 2004 21:13

Oh well, is that all?  Confirming your self-loathing would be counter-productive........I'll work on it.............or I could just lie and say how vile you are.
 
No, no, we couldn't traumatise generations of Big Bird lovers.  This reminds me of a time when I was wandering round the garden with older sprog and looking at a pretty flower he said "that looks like a hydrogen bomb" What have I spawned?  Turned out to be a pacifist, thank god.
 
Lindisfarne must have been the Ibiza of its day, let's all go there and trash it.

Vile Jelly

01 September 2004 09:23

Didn't want to strain you unduly. I thought with all the paper-pushing in the NHS an interim working paper on absolutely everything would be a doddle for you. 'Fraid there's no free-lunching seminars or fact-finding missions to five star country hotels included though. Obviously this makes it a less-tempting task than doing that report on why the paperclips in your drawer always join together but at least it should take less time to produce without all the 'dirty work' attached to it. Just don't post the final version to us or we'll never get it!
 
So, had your sprog had much experience of hydrogen bombs? Perhaps, as a responsible parent, you should have educated the little darling properly by detonating a real hydrogen bomb in the garden so that it could tell the difference in the future! Were you still living in East Angular then? If so, you could have just moved onto the flightpath of the American occupation forces and waited for them to accidentally drop one on your garden. (Did actually happen in the US!).
 
More St. Ives than Ibiza as it did normally contain (when not being pillaged) intelligent people and ancient works of art. Apparently it is, as the old song goes, all just a little bit of history repeating!

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