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Gill Richards 01 September 2004 14:27 or perhaps the office exorcised of computers. what happened to good old
writing eh? the good old days when doing a job took three times as long because
you had to write to each other and wait for the reply, even though you were only
in the next room. of course it would mean i couldn't talk to you on an afternoon
although i know i've been a bit crap on that front recently - i have now got a
new lease of life and will try to reply daily (more or less). Vile Jelly 02 September 2004 09:35
Ah, yes, the dulcet sounds of quill on parchment. That's what we need. Here we
are with all this instant information technology and communication and has it
made us happy? Hell no. Mind you, we do seem to be going full circle in one
respect. Thanks to the abolition of educational standards the yoof of today
now write gibberish that make even Chaucer seem like a paragon of spelling,
grammar and comprehensibility. (At least Chaucer had the excuse that the
written English language hadn't really been invented in his day!).
Didn't see Messiah. Did it involve some deranged megalomaniac with delusions
of self-importance and a firm belief that he/she is right and everyone else is
wrong? Possibly some religious pretensions? Hm ..... maybe I have seen it
before, the description seems disturbingly reminiscent of someone I've had the
misfortune to come across!
That's what the RT say but I think it's the beer not the hill that is causing
the problem. My suspicions were aroused when Orm said he wasn't under the
affluence of incohol and the only reason he was lying down was that his feet
were killing him after walking back up the hill! The ems don't miss the
seagull signs although I do suspect that some of them are both 'ills' (iterate
and egitimate!). However, you have to remember that none of the signs,
notices, rules, laws, etc. apply to them because they
are on holiday*. Some of them probably bring their sprogs down
and give them fists full of ice creams because they are trying to get rid of
them. Given how a lot of the sprogs carried on, I'd certainly be trying to
lose them somewhere if they were mine.
* Frequently missed out in the Bibble, God actually put a
rider at the bottom of the 10 commandments saying 'none of the above apply if
you are on holiday'. This was subsequently enshrined in the various Toleration
Acts of Queen Anne as amended by the Great Deform Acts of the nineteenth
century and finally codified in the Human Wrongs Act perpetrated by Tony
Blah's Politburo to bring us into line with EU tourists.
Gill Richards 02 September 2004 14:23
I never did understand him, that's probably
why! olde english does have some interesting words, just look at Shakespeare!
Haven't seen this one yet, but probably. The
title actually refers to the first on when someone actually did think he was
the Messiah and was killing people in grizzly 'biblical' ways. The second was
less Messianic and we shall see about the third - just some nutter probably!
Correct me if i'm wrong but is Orm a snake
and as such he does not have feet and that is your point?
No need to shout, i'm not the oik that is
trying to get rid of their kids via carrier seagull!!
* surely the intolerance acts?
Vile Jelly 02 September 2004 15:51
I don't think anyone understood Chaucer. I'm not sure if he wrote that way
because medieval english really was that weird (medieval french isn't by
comparison) or he was just out of his skull on turnip mead.
So, it could have been Winwaloe whodunnit then.
Yes, that's why I was suspicious of the excuse.
Sorry, I wasn't shouting at you I was merely rendering the statement into the
format in which the ems present it.
* 'Pends on your point of view. I always thought that they said that everyone
had to tolerate ems, although you might be right and have said that ems were
allowed to be completely intolerable.
Gill Richards 03 September 2004 08:17
why on earth do you know what medieval french
is like? doesn't exactly come up in everyday conversation does it?
Turnip mead sounds disgusting, would that be
like lager now?
could be.
see your point. Do they lie to you often?
apart from telling you it's your round i mean.
no, i know. it's bit like they're abroad
isn't it? shout slowly and they might just understand you.
* i think the latter, at least it seems more
likely considering the current trend. How is it at the moment? a bit quieter
since the schools have gone back? i suppose you now have the awkward DINKYs to
put up with.
PS apparently apathy is sweeping the country,
but no-one seems to care.
Vile Jelly 03 September 2004 11:06
Because when I did my thesis (or, debatably, faeces) at uni a lot of the
source docs were written in medieval french, that being the notional
nationality of the crusaders which settled in Outremer (literally [The Land]
Beyond the Sea) as it was called. Compare and contrast:-
14th century ingerlish:
This clerk was cleped hende Nicholas.
12th century froggish:
Sire, ne creés le conseill dou conte. Car ce est un traitre, et vos savés bien que il ne vos aime riens
(Modern version) Sire, ne croyez [pas] le conseil du conte. Car, c'est un
traitre, et vous savez bien qu'il ne vous aime rien.
If you understand modern frog the medieval version mostly only tends to differ in spelling, whereas Chaucer's eengleesh two
hundred years later still looks like a foreign language in places. Either
that, or as I said, Chaucer was 600 years ahead of his time in inventing text
message gibberish!
I should think so. That would certainly explain the chronic flatulence of
lager louts.
No, usually they are quite honest (as anyone who reads their news bulletins in
SSI would know!). I just think it is the effects of the demon drink that makes
them fib. Either that or they are trying to test my powers of observation
(which they obviously don't rate).
I was thinking of using the computer technique on them, i.e. punch the
information in!
I think only half the skools are back. I know our street gangs don't go back
until next week. Still, it has diminished somewhat. Not sure how September
will go ems-wise. If the weather holds up (perfect at the mo) I should think
the ems will still be out in moderate force. In any case, I know we are busy
doing weddings for most of the month. Thank god we don't do divorces at
t'castle as well or we'd never get out of the kitchen!
PS. That's terrible! I will do something about it ..... some time ..... as
soon as poss ..... but I'm a bit busy at the mo ..... but I'll get round to it
..... if you think it's really necessary ..... I'm not sure it is ..... Oh,
sod it. If it's that important I'm sure somebody will do something about it.
Gill Richards 03 September 2004 11:43
oooo. you're dead right, gibberish versus
something you can work out. once you know what the eenglish is meant to say
you can unnerstand but until then....
like drummers. joke - what is the difference
between a drummer and a drum machine? you only have to punch the information
into a drum machine once.
ha! and 'blessings', christenings, first
birthdays, 18th birthdays...
*spose
Vile Jelly 03 September 2004 14:53
Mind you, there is always the chance to put one up on pseuds by saying,
'Hello. I'm sorry I don't think we've met before. How are you yclept?"!
Exactement.
Given the performances of some of the sprogeny I've had the misfortune to come
across, I think anti-christenings might be more appropriate!
* Whatever.
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