Gill Richards

01 September 2004 14:27

or perhaps the office exorcised of computers. what happened to good old writing eh? the good old days when doing a job took three times as long because you had to write to each other and wait for the reply, even though you were only in the next room. of course it would mean i couldn't talk to you on an afternoon although i know i've been a bit crap on that front recently - i have now got a new lease of life and will try to reply daily (more or less).

Ah you didn't say other peoples bodies. they are totally non-essential to me. perhaps you could suggest they do that experiment on the next 'episode' of Messiah. i haven't watched it yet but apparently it's not good. perhaps they are running out of ideas of how to kill people. Do you need a grant? you already have the tools and i'm sure the locals will  be happy to remove the mess for you if it means they can get back into town.

Spose it would, i know i feel horribly sober after walking up hill on my way home, i usually have to have a lie down when i get there. How is it that people miss the signs that ask them not to feed the seagulls? they keep taking their children there, what do they expect?

ps laughed out loud at the emus. i'd noticed Windy wasn't around; you were in a good mood and there was no pompous twaddle.

Vile Jelly

02 September 2004 09:35

Ah, yes, the dulcet sounds of quill on parchment. That's what we need. Here we are with all this instant information technology and communication and has it made us happy? Hell no. Mind you, we do seem to be going full circle in one respect. Thanks to the abolition of educational standards the yoof of today now write gibberish that make even Chaucer seem like a paragon of spelling, grammar and comprehensibility. (At least Chaucer had the excuse that the written English language hadn't really been invented in his day!).
Didn't see Messiah. Did it involve some deranged megalomaniac with delusions of self-importance and a firm belief that he/she is right and everyone else is wrong? Possibly some religious pretensions? Hm ..... maybe I have seen it before, the description seems disturbingly reminiscent of someone I've had the misfortune to come across!
That's what the RT say but I think it's the beer not the hill that is causing the problem. My suspicions were aroused when Orm said he wasn't under the affluence of incohol and the only reason he was lying down was that his feet were killing him after walking back up the hill! The ems don't miss the seagull signs although I do suspect that some of them are both 'ills' (iterate and egitimate!). However, you have to remember that none of the signs, notices, rules, laws, etc. apply to them because they are on holiday*. Some of them probably bring their sprogs down and give them fists full of ice creams because they are trying to get rid of them. Given how a lot of the sprogs carried on, I'd certainly be trying to lose them somewhere if they were mine.
* Frequently missed out in the Bibble, God actually put a rider at the bottom of the 10 commandments saying 'none of the above apply if you are on holiday'. This was subsequently enshrined in the various Toleration Acts of Queen Anne as amended by the Great Deform Acts of the nineteenth century and finally codified in the Human Wrongs Act perpetrated by Tony Blah's Politburo to bring us into line with EU tourists.

Gill Richards

02 September 2004 14:23

I never did understand him, that's probably why! olde english does have some interesting words, just look at Shakespeare!
Haven't seen this one yet, but probably. The title actually refers to the first on when someone actually did think he was the Messiah and was killing people in grizzly 'biblical' ways. The second was less Messianic and we shall see about the third - just some nutter probably!
Correct me if i'm wrong but is Orm a snake and as such he does not have feet and that is your point?
No need to shout, i'm not the oik that is trying to get rid of their kids via carrier seagull!!
* surely the intolerance acts?

Vile Jelly

02 September 2004 15:51

I don't think anyone understood Chaucer. I'm not sure if he wrote that way because medieval english really was that weird (medieval french isn't by comparison) or he was just out of his skull on turnip mead.
So, it could have been Winwaloe whodunnit then.
Yes, that's why I was suspicious of the excuse.
Sorry, I wasn't shouting at you I was merely rendering the statement into the format in which the ems present it.
* 'Pends on your point of view. I always thought that they said that everyone had to tolerate ems, although you might be right and have said that ems were allowed to be completely intolerable.

Gill Richards

03 September 2004 08:17

why on earth do you know what medieval french is like? doesn't exactly come up in everyday conversation does it?
Turnip mead sounds disgusting, would that be like lager now?
could be.
see your point. Do they lie to you often? apart from telling you it's your round i mean.
no, i know. it's bit like they're abroad isn't it? shout slowly and they might just understand you.
* i think the latter, at least it seems more likely considering the current trend. How is it at the moment? a bit quieter since the schools have gone back? i suppose you now have the awkward DINKYs to put up with.
PS apparently apathy is sweeping the country, but no-one seems to care.

Vile Jelly

03 September 2004 11:06

Because when I did my thesis (or, debatably, faeces) at uni a lot of the source docs were written in medieval french, that being the notional nationality of the crusaders which settled in Outremer (literally [The Land] Beyond the Sea) as it was called. Compare and contrast:-
14th century ingerlish:

This clerk was cleped hende Nicholas.
Of deerne love he koude and of solas;
(Modern version) This clerk was called clever Nicholas. Of secret love he knew and of its satisfaction;

12th century froggish:

Sire, ne creés le conseill dou conte. Car ce est un traitre, et vos savés bien que il ne vos aime riens

(Modern version) Sire, ne croyez [pas] le conseil du conte. Car, c'est un traitre, et vous savez bien qu'il ne vous aime rien.
 If you understand modern frog the medieval version mostly only tends to differ in spelling, whereas Chaucer's eengleesh two hundred years later still looks like a foreign language in places. Either that, or as I said, Chaucer was 600 years ahead of his time in inventing text message gibberish!
I should think so. That would certainly explain the chronic flatulence of lager louts.
No, usually they are quite honest (as anyone who reads their news bulletins in SSI would know!). I just think it is the effects of the demon drink that makes them fib. Either that or they are trying to test my powers of observation (which they obviously don't rate).
I was thinking of using the computer technique on them, i.e. punch the information in!
I think only half the skools are back. I know our street gangs don't go back until next week. Still, it has diminished somewhat. Not sure how September will go ems-wise. If the weather holds up (perfect at the mo) I should think the ems will still be out in moderate force. In any case, I know we are busy doing weddings for most of the month. Thank god we don't do divorces at t'castle as well or we'd never get out of the kitchen!
PS. That's terrible! I will do something about it ..... some time ..... as soon as poss ..... but I'm a bit busy at the mo ..... but I'll get round to it ..... if you think it's really necessary ..... I'm not sure it is ..... Oh, sod it. If it's that important I'm sure somebody will do something about it.

Gill Richards

03 September 2004 11:43

oooo. you're dead right, gibberish versus something you can work out. once you know what the eenglish is meant to say you can unnerstand but until then....
like drummers. joke - what is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? you only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.
ha! and 'blessings', christenings, first birthdays, 18th birthdays...

Vile Jelly

03 September 2004 14:53

Mind you, there is always the chance to put one up on pseuds by saying, 'Hello. I'm sorry I don't think we've met before. How are you yclept?"!
Given the performances of some of the sprogeny I've had the misfortune to come across, I think anti-christenings might be more appropriate!
* Whatever.

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