|
Sara Katherine Patterson 16 July 2002 00:37 Greetings from America! [Good grief, all of you? We never knew we were so popular!]
Dearest "vile jelly",
While I'm quite sure you've forgotten me completely (due to old age or
excessive alcohol consumption, I know not [He suffers
from both, actually, but he does remember you. Under interrogation using truth
serum (and electricity. Gosh, that's fun stuff, isn't it?) he mumbled
something about 'civilised, intelligent conversation' and we can't think of
anyone else who'd fit that description!]) I thought I'd give a
shout from across the pond to say hello from America (Seattle, Washington, to
be exact)!
I check the website regularly to behold firsthand your mischief-making
ne'er-do-well ways in the village I miss so dearly. Seattle is a sorry
substitute for the hustle and bustle of St. Ives; and the noticeable absence
of a decent pub - and the possibility of a good natter - has left me bereft.
I miss our conversations and do give an update on my old place of employment
(and your #1 stomping ground) when you aren't busy making trouble for the good
citizens of St. Ives!
Cheers,
Sara Patterson
(lil' ol' American from Oregon/former Sloop inmate)
Vile Jelly 16 July 2002 10:34
Haven't you heard? I am now an inmate of HMP* Sloop myself. Of course, being
naturally repellent they didn't dare expose me to the general public and so I
have been incarcerated in the torture chamber of Maurice's dungeon (aka the
kitchen). Officially I am just the Dish Pig (souvenir t-shirts available - see
Bringing Home The Bacon in the e-mails section) but
have been 'promoted' to occasional breakfast cooking [Pah!
He even manages to burn the cornflakes, you know!] as well.
Sloop staff update on the way soon (hopefully!) [first
update out this issue] but we have been chopping and changing staff
so often that they have usually buggered off before I get a chance to do them!
So, if you are stuck for something to do, there are plenty of vacancies at the
Sloop.
Sorry can't go on now as I am due in the slave pits any minute. Do stay in
touch.
Doom Bar Paul
*Her Majesty's Prison
|
I (that’s me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, it’s nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved. |