Going The Whole Hog! - E-mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Andrew Macdonald

12 August 2002 11:04

Pools, tubs, spas, - and colonic irrigation?

Wouldn't you love to meet the creative genius who can not only come up with a truly cheesy caption like this, but can also demonstrate the ideal way to crop the picture to fit the ad?

Andrew

Reporting Team

13 August 2002 09:36

See. This is why we need you to put Naughty Norfolk on the web. Look at all this material you've got which is just going to waste! Get your hedgehogs, sheep, etc. on the case immediately.

PS. Good to hear from you again. Our e-mail letterbox has been flapping forlornly in the wind as the tumbleweed roll across the website. Either everyone has buggered off on holiday or people are losing interest. After Jelly knackered his legs and burned the midnight oil at both ends to bring them the new feature, as well.

Bah!

Andrew Macdonald

14 August 2002 18:32

Just discovered four hedgehogs in the garden, but they seem to prefer snuffling a lot and eating slugs to life on the cutting edge of the information superhighway. (When did you last hear that phrase?)

Liked the latest feature. If we get anywhere near St Ives again, I shall stride manfully at least as far as the foot of the hill. Have you heard of deer ticks, by the by?

Hope the Team are now safely installed in new premises and churning out interesting, exciting, (insert further grovelly adjectives as required) features to keep those of us who can't bugger off on holiday amused and entertained through the dog days of Summer, though given the weather, maybe that should be frog days.

By the way, best you get a message to Alfie to flobble off to the Doc's and get his jabs - apparently the seal virus is back. We saw one on the beach on Saturday which was very dead, though cause unknown.

Vile Jelly

15 August 2002 16:30

Aha, you have discovered the lesser European brown hedgehog, a cousin of the internationally famous and successful blue hedgehog. Never mind, you can't win them all (and the Sonics have said that if you give them a hard time you won't win any of them!).

I thought the information superhighway was what we were supposed to be driving down (for a modest fee) on the way to work. Mind you, we can't possibly criticise President Blair because, apart from the information, the super and the highway, official statistics show that the plan has been successfully implemented.

Deer ticks? I am a frayed knot. What are they, a check list that has to be completed before they leave the factory?

Dog days? Now, please be Sirius!

As for Alfie, I've not seen hide nor blubber of him recently. Mind you, that could be because he is not in the habit (usually) of flobbling through the Sloop kitchen. There has been a dead seal washed up somewhere around here recently but I think the case was inconclusive (but we get dead dolphins washing up as well due to unnatural causes so you never know).

PS. I still think you could train your hedgehogs up, you know. Perhaps if you leave your computer under a bush for a few nights they might start writing your website.

Andrew Macdonald

16 August 2002 12:15

Sorry about the delay in replying; left the computer out as instructed and the little buggers nicked it. They left a note saying they wanted to play Subsonic the Human and would only give it back on payment of a bucket of fresh snails, so I've been a bit busy this morning.

Deer ticks are nasty little buggers that live in bracken and stuff and bite you. This makes you go all red and blotchy and gives you Lyme's disease, [does this involve you playing a zither while fielding at third man?] which is apparently not nice.

We shall sit back and await this week's riveting episode. I've always wanted to learn riveting.

[We've tried it but you really have to be a bullfrog to do it properly!].

Andrew Macdonald

19 August 2002 08:36

I hate to be pedantic, but you are thinking of Lime's disease. Lyme's disease manifests itself as an irresistible urge to don a black cloak and do Meryl Streep impersonations at the end of the Cobb, particularly in bad weather. Apart from the more obvious differences, if there is any doubt remaining, remember that Lime's disease is in black and white, whereas Lyme's disease is in colour.

Vile Jelly

19 August 2002 19:12

Pardon mon herisson, mon ami.

I'm sure it's the noxious fumes in the slave pits getting to me. It seems so long since I've had the chance to sit outside of an evening and watch the deep blue sun sink into the fiery sea!

Andrew Macdonald

20 August 2002 08:54

Sonique bleu!

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