The Shauns' DIY Guide


The Shauns give candid advice for young humans.

This episode:-

War! What is it good for?

Well, you tell us, it's your hobby. When was the last time that you were attacked by sheep? This is what we've worked out so far .....

How To Start A  World War

Lose a previous war and get a crap peace settlement.
Simmer sulkily for 10-15 years.
Take advantage of economic chaos to become a significant political force through populist demagoguery.
Achieve a political presence in government by trading favours with more established right-wing parties.
Seize power.
Eliminate everyone who got you into power in the first place.
Deny everything when questioned.
Eliminate all political opposition using paramilitary thugs and dubious legal maonoeuvring.
Re-militarise the Rhineland.
Annexe the Sudetenland.
Invade the rest of Czechoslovakia.
Defuse international opposition by inviting foreign premiers round to your place in Munich for a slap up meal followed by port and cheese (in our time).
Invade Poland and retire to a safe distance (i.e. your bunker for over five years).
Shoot yourself (after first signing over all your rights to your clones in Brazil).

Next issue:

Learn to bomb Pearl Harbour with confidence!

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