5 September 2003


We're Back (just!)

Hello, humans, it is the Reporting Team here.

The goblins and their hideous masters have mostly retreated to whatever dark, dank crevices they came from. So, we have decided to emerge from our Summer hibernation and see what's going on .....

..... Bugger! The place is still full of emmets. Run away, run away!

A Late Frost

One of the more worthwhile leading lights of the local arts scene, Sir Terry Frost, popped his clogs on Monday at St. Julia's Hospice in Hayle.

Sir Terry first trolled down to St. Ives in 1950 where he became a leading figure in the St. Ives school. He helped Babs Hepworth on some of her chisellings for the Festival of Britain in 1951 before he started to get some of his own work promulgated. He then flitted about various places building his reputation before settling for the rest of his life in Newlyn.

When asked for a comment on Frosty's career a local artist said, "He was Grrrrreeeeaaaat!"

Another Great British Debacle

Some of the less comatose of you may have spotted something in the news this week about the balloonatics latest attempt to set an altitude record from St. Ives Bay. The media descended to witness the great event and a spokesman for the proud sponsors/manufacturers, Qinetiq, said, 'It shows what British technology and industry can achieve'.

Except, after waiting two years for the perfect 'weather window' they discovered on the great day that the balloon was burst. Which, I think, says an awful lot about why British technology and industry doesn't sell very well!

The great armada drops anchor in St. Ives Bay and starts blowing ..... balloon1.jpg (44108 bytes)
..... meanwhile the crowds go delirious with excitement ..... balloon2.jpg (65332 bytes)
Red sky at night ..... nothing in flight! balloon3.jpg (34474 bytes)

The inflatanauts have threatened to come and have another go next year ..... so, hopefully, we'll all be meeting up for the tenth anniversary 'there we don't go again' party in 2011.

As yet, no explanation as to why the balloon burst but conspiracy theorists might want to give this week's e-mails an in-depth look ..... !

Making House Calls

Of course, as you all know, we are just pretending there is a local housing issue down here to try and con some freebies out of the state.

I mean, if there really was a serious problem the authorities would be doing something about it ..... like desperately shoving leaflets through everyone's door!

Crisis?

What crisis?

housing.jpg (46445 bytes)

You Take The High Tech And I'll Take The Low Tech

VJ will be attempting to do fiddly things with the computer this week so expect periods of silence (and prolonged bouts of swearing!).

Other Nudes In Briefs (isn't that a contradiction in terms?)

Two of the six choughs released into the wild by Paradise Park, Hayle have pegged it already.

Nearly cacked my pants when I say a leader in the paper saying 'Andrew George Backs Status Quo'. Fortunately, it turned out he was talking about proposed changes to the electoral boundaries and not the three chord old crock 'n' rollers!

Part of the London to Penzance choo-choo line is to be closed every weekend for three months between Exeter and Plymouth. So, any foolish rail travellers should add another couple of ices ages to their ETA.

A local girl has been poisoned by the dodgy wharf 'traders' who do those henna tattoos. Still, they're good for tourism, aren't they?

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