6 September 2002


The Shift Hits The Fan (Part 2)

It never rains but .., 

Apologies for the extended lack of new features and the ever dilatory news bulletins but the Sloop Slave Pits have claimed yet another victim with Alex deciding that maybe a job that ends up in trips to the hospital wasn't really for him. So, he became the umpteenth person to quit on the basis that they couldn't hack the job (mentally or physically).

I don't know why people harp on about how tough commando training is. They seem to have far fewer drop-outs than we do!

Fire In The Sky

Gun battles raged through St. Ives last week as two local youths took on the winged mafia in an attempt to sort out the pecking order in St. Ives. Two local 17 year-olds were apprehended with an air pistol after being spotted taking pot shots at the seagulls from Barnoon Cemetery.

A Police armed response unit was called out but unfortunately failed to open fire, thus failing to deal appropriately with either problem!

Stratosphere

As anyone taking a casual glance at the sky will have realised, the balloon has failed to go up. The two balloonatics, Andy Elson and Colin Prescott, are still lurking somewhere in the vicinity of St. Ives waiting for a three day weather window so they can launch their attempt at the world record for the highest balloon flight. 

They now only have three weeks left before they will have to abandon the attempt for this year. Given that we don't seem to be getting three hours of consistent weather at the moment their prospects, like Vile Jelly's face, do not look good.

On Your Bike

Right, that's it. Got to return to the slave pits. Just don't forget Bagfest [See the 30 August bulletin] next weekend.

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