8 March 2002


Chocs Away!

Things just keep getting spookier in Spooky St. Ives. There I was skivvying away at the Sloop when I was informed that a parcel for me had been delivered to reception.

"That's odd," I thunk, "I'm not expecting anything and why is it addressed to me at the Sloop?".

Fearing the worst I thought I had better open it there as the Shauns had been a bit worried ever since the anthrax-in-the-post incidents and would probably subject me to a severe hoofing if I brought a suspect device home with me.

To my consternation it was neither the anticipated anthrax nor a boxing glove on a spring but, in fact, it turned out to be a box of posh choccies disguised as a laptop computer. Sadly the perpetrators of this deed chose to remain anonymous.

Cheers whoever you are/were/will have been. The Reporting Team say 'ta muchly' and 'burp'!

The choccies get scoffed by willing volunteers in the Sloop Inn, St. Ives, Cornwall Due to Vile Jelly's extreme ugliness we were forced to use stunt doubles in the publicity pictures.
The only thing we've ever got out of doing Spooky St. Ives! Ooh, bags have the Crunchy Frog!
Mystery benefactors of Spooky St. Ives Could this be the work of 7th Day Advent Spookyists?

Feats Of Clay

The Reporting Team have recently spent substantial chunks of time up at the Leach Pottery. In a weak moment ceramics svengali, Trevor Corser, agreed to let Spooky St. Ives in to do a number (probably metaphorically as well as literally) on the crockery capital of Cornwall.

We are currently struggling to cobble something together for you (hopefully by the end of next week) but have been hampered by various factors such as exploding computers, work, domestic commitments and, of course, sheer incompetence from Vile Jelly.

Fingers/paws/hoofs crossed!

A Change In The Pecking Order

In one of those bizarre coincidences that can only happen in somewhere as spooky as St. Ives there have been two, almost simultaneous, developments on the seagull front.

Firstly, Alan Spencer (a.k.a. the Twickenham Seagull) was down in St. Ives and managed to spot the Reporting Team going about their business. Cunningly, he followed them and was eventually able to discover from whence the Spooky St. Ives emissions come. It looked like Vile Jelly was going to be unmasked until the Twickenham Seagull realised that Jelly was not actually wearing a mask ..... he really was that ugly. Suitably deterred the Twickenham Seagull decided to withdraw and hand the problem over to Rentokil!

However, any feeling of triumph that Mr. Spencer may have felt will no doubt be washed away almost immediately by the announcement in today's St. Ives Times & Echo:-

"Attempts to solve the seagull problem is [sic] being stepped up - not against the seagulls but in a campaign directed at humans."

So, if Vile Jelly has been unmasked it looks like the Twickenham Seagull may be about to be unbeaked!

Penwith District Council are to put up 70 new metallic signs in the town trying to warn visitors about swooping seagulls and prevent visitors from (deliberately or inadvertently) feeding them.

So, if you want to see these signs we suggest that you get down to St. Ives by Spring or early Summer. Any later than that and the seagulls will probably have eaten them!

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