Something Old, Something New ...
Well, the May Day Bonk Holiday came and went (mercifully briefly). We think that being so soon after the Easter debauchery kept the forces of emmetry down to manageable numbers and meant there was actually room to swing several cats. (Cats, as regular visitors to St. Ives, have a semi-independent existence down here so there are usually a few round to swing. Although we don't recommend that you try it with Pushkin unless you are feeling very strong!).
Anyway, frivolity was the order of the day (kitchen serfs excluded, natch) and much frivolling was done by all. Spookily, although May Day is a long-standing pagan tradition in the UK, the St. Ives May Day 'tradition' was only revived four years ago. Some of the activities go way back when, though.
Apart from the ubiquitous maypole dancing, there was also the crowing of various sprogs as the May King and Queen, May Prince and Princess. No doubt the next couple of years will see the addition of a May Count and Countess, followed by a May Right Honourable. Hell, some day we might even get a May Republican!
Other alarming sounding but generally harmless activities included the blowing of the May Horn, the unleashing of the Peaweeps revealed in last week's bulletin and the brandishing of the May Sticks (which are just sticks that the local sprogs decorate with flowers and ribbons, although we suspect that when no one's looking they do try to poke each other with them).
Surfer The Children!
Those of you inclined to worry about the recent reports of failings in St. Ives' educational establishments will be relieved to know that St. Ives School is now .....
"The top ranked surfing school in the country"
Hurrah! That's one in the eye for those who said they'd never amount to anything in life. We look forward to the fees that will be generated as flocks of concerned parents pay through the nose to ensure that their sprogs have the finest education money can buy.
No, seriously, they're really good surfers. They absolutely thrashed that team from Birmingham in the final!
Sherlock Holmes Award!
Snippet in the T&E this week:-
"Hayle Police say they suspect that a van was probably used to steal two large granite capstones from the entrance of a property ....."
I dunno, though, I still think it might have been skateboarders who made off with them!
Discussing A Moslem Religious Sect
Yes, apparently, and according to the gospel laid down by John Oswin, Spooky St. Ives and its few communicants have been talking shi'ite.
See Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee in this week's e-mails to get the full SP.
In the meantime, the Reporting Team and I would like to say:-
Oh, and special message for John Oswin:-
Roman numeral written as IV, gadget man for James Bond!
As for the rest of the readership, we'd just like to say:-
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