9 July 2004


Thought For The Week

Cha nel mee er n'akin shen roie

[I haven't seen that before]

Welcome To The Jungle

Good tidings. Well, it was for me anyway.

Regular spookyist, Gill Richards, arrived (with the Paul, as opposed to the other Paul) at the Slurp for a brief moment of conviviality amidst the insanity that is Summer in St. Ives.

A good time was had by all ..... Well, a good time was had by me, I can't speak for the others. Gill even had the benefit of enjoying a previously unreleased moment from 'We Left Our Brains At The Tamar' [see this week's e-mu correspondence with Helling].

Into t'pub strode a bleurk. "Are you still doing breakfast?" .....

..... he asked at ten past one in the afternoon!

Gill with an anonymous Sloop regular lurking in the background! gill.jpg (40374 bytes)

Lisa Moaner?

For those of you who didn't spot it (Wake up! It was fairly widely reported, y'know), The Simpsons Xmas Special this year will feature Lisa campaigning for Cornish independence!

Lisa Simpson is a well-known champion of obscure causes (democracy, justice, liberty, equality, fraternity, etc.) but it is not totally clear at this stage why she has decided to join the fight for an independent Cornwall. All that has been reported so far is that the producers of The Simpsons have been in cahoots with Kowethas an Yeth Kernewek (gesundheit!), the Cornish Language Fellowship, obtaining a few useful Cornish phrases.

Apparently, the producers (21st Century Badger or some such) plan to show Lisa on the streets of Springfield waving the flag of St. Piran and shouting out phrases like 'Rydhsys rag Kernow lemmyn' and 'Kernow bys vykken' as an alternative to the English Queen's speech which will be on at the same time.

Definitely one to tune in for then ('cept I'll be bloody working of course). Will Lisa swing the balance of power towards Cornish independence? Will the London Empire declare war on Fox and the USA to prevent such a seditious broadcast undermining their occupation of Cornwall? And what is the Cornish for 'doh!'?

Not Waving But ...

Following on from last week's bulletin the Coastguards have now revealed that, although the number of incidents actually went down, the number of people killed in Cornish waters in 2003 nearly doubled from the figure for 2002. They pointed out that the figure could have been a lot worse if it wasn't for the excellence of the various rescue organisations that pluck hapless ems from clifftops, mine shafts and the big wet thing.

A Bunny Thing Happened  On The Way To The Forum!

I know you shouldn't laugh but ..... what the hell. A bloke from St. Erth was done for drink-driving at Truro magistrates this week. When he was apprehended by the rozzers after abandoning his crashed car he told them that only god would know how many budweisers he had drunk on top of five whiskies.

He said that the accident had occurred when he had swerved to avoid a rabbit. A giant one called Harvey presumably!

A Time Of The Signs?

Weird scenes on the moors .....

Police are appealing for help in tracking down a mystery weirdo who is stealing wooden signs on the Penwith Moors! Bizarrely the tea-leaf only operates on Sunday evenings and, when one stash of stolen signs was found recently, appears to go to great trouble to neatly arrange his ill-gotten gains.

Police are appealing for witnesses. We are appealing for a crack team of outdoor psychotherapists!

Mala-scoff?

Penwith Council have given the go-ahead for the redevelopment of the former bus garage at the Malakoff. Planning permission has been given for it to be converted into ..... a restaurant.

Hurrah! We really needed another one of those!

Anyway, the developers aren't planning to do the major work until the season is over (so they'll be doing it all on January 22nd, then) and the reduced bus service is in operation (any time, then).

I wonder who they are going to get to work there. Just about every noshery in town seems to be looking for staff at the mo'. Of course, most of the St. Ives chefing mafia have now wised up to the promise them anything, hire 'em and fire 'em tactics the owners employ in the Summer and have no intention of drinking from the poisoned chalice. Which leaves the itinerant, the talentless and the unreliable as their recruiting pool of talent. Comforting thought, eh? Well, it is for me because I ain't dumb enough (or rich enough) to frequent such establishments.

Bon appetit! 

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