11 June 2004


Thought For The Week

Va'n ellan ain currit mow

[ Our island was laid waste]

Life's A Beach!

The area may get filled up with crud in the Summer but at least we try and clear up after the ems! 6 beaches in Cornwall have been awarded European Blue Flag status and of those 6, no less than 4 are in Penwith.

The two main St. Ives beaches (minster & meor) got Blue Flags as well as the beaches at Marazion and Sennen (definitely worth a visit, espesh the Old Success Inn!).

So, hey we've got bugger all down here but at least it's a clean bugger all.

Train In Vain

Bizarre goings-on on the Penzance-Glasgow main line recently. A train, attempting to perform aforementioned journey, managed to split into two whilst traversing {cough! spit!] Devon.

The Spokesfatconductor for the railway said that at time of going to press he was unable to explain; (1) why the train had split into two, (2) why the second half had arrived at its destination 40 minutes before the first half and (3) why the Trevithick Trust had still managed to make the same journey in an early 19th century steam engine replica in half the time!

I Beg Your Pardon!

Although SSI naturally tends to side with the indigenous population against the monstrous regiment of ems, we would like to believe that we are not blind to the truth nor without our own morals.

Reported in the West Briton:-

A 25 year-old woman feels like she has been 'branded a murderer' as  a result of being involved in a fatal road accident. There were no charges of careless driving or driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Nevertheless, Marc Downing, a 22 year-old from Ipswich ended up very dead as a result of their 'coming together' last Summer.

Having mowed down Mr. Downing at 4am she did what any decent human-being would do .....

She drove off, parked the car up, got her brother to come and take her home. Then, the following morning, she went to Camborne police station and admitted to:-

Failing to stop and report an accident

Having no insurance

Having no tax

Having no MOT

Driving with two defective tyres

We can only condemn the malicious persecution of the 'victim' of this accident, who has been given a verbal hard time by the relatives of the dead man and prosecuted by the police merely for breaking the law ..... well, laws, ..... some of the biggies in the motoring world, too.

How right she was to bring her plight to our attention.

To cap it all she got banned from driving for two years and fined £65. Surely this is the time for all wrong-minded people to rise up in her defence!

More Road Rage?

This Summer the powers-that-should-be-but-aren't are trying a voluntary pilot scheme to reduce congestion on Cornwall's busy roads, OK road, by restricting caravan-towers to the inside lane on stretches where bottlenecks occur.

Disappointingly, the shed-draggers have appeared to respond positively to this initiative.

Of course, to be honest (which I only do under duress), back in the days when I used to scoot back and forth between Cornwall and England I was the first amongst those mentally firing the photon torpedoes at the upcoming moving obstacle on the A30.

However, now I live down here and do not drive in or out of the county (can't afford the petrol) I regard the caravaners as allies and a natural defence against excessive emmet swarms. They ain't heavy, they're my road-blockers!

Starry, Starry Night

Those of you who weren't there (or those who were but couldn't get your eyes to focus) may not be aware that every year the St. Ives Beerfest has a designated charity. This year the beneficiary was a charity for the Cornish Fishery industry and, in addition to the collection buckets, the rather decent peeps at Skinner's Brewery in Truro produced a special limited edition  bottled beer named after the legendary Mousehole delicacy, Starry Gazey Pie.

For the uninitiated, Starry Gazey Pie is the only genuine fish pie. It is made with the fishes' heads sticking out of the crust (gazing at the stars, natch). Many others have imitated this recipe but have removed the fishes' heads.

However, you should beware of these cheap imitations because, as anyone knows, if you remove the eyes from a proper fish pie ..... you just end up with a 'fsh pe'.

An artist's impression of an unopened bottle of beer chez Jelly.

[Original stolen, police baffled, RT AWOL!]

starry1.jpg (51285 bytes)

Look at the little fishies!

starry2.jpg (67525 bytes)

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