15 October 2004


Thought For The Week

Cha jinnin shen y yannoo dy beign uss.

[I wouldn't do that if I were you.]

It's The End Of The World As I Know It

So, it's goodbye to Welsh Derek and Margaret as they set sail to retirement safe in the land of their birth and the shelter of their family. I know one shouldn't begrudge them this but, as the one left behind as good friends depart, I can only say

BUGGER

I wish them all the best and hope to see them again but it's still a complete bummer.

Bells End?

Crisis at the church of St. Ia as the bells have (sort of) fallen silent. In a bizarre set of circumstances that only a highly qualified bellologist could explain, the bells can't be rung manually because whatever dongs them is in danger of damaging the bells. However, the machine that automatically dings them on the quarter hours can still be used as that doesn't hit the same part of the bell.

Thus, those needing to know the time in the town will still be able to hear the dings but there will be some very disappointed brides when they realise that they aren't going to get a big dong on their wedding day!

Is There A Doctor In The House? Town? District? County?

There was much fear and loathing in the county this week when it was claimed that a new NHS 'funding formula' was going to leave Cornwall well and truly up a brown and smelly creek with no means of propulsion. Apparently/allegedly/aboriginally (*delete as appropriate) the funding formula is based on incomes in the relevant area and, as wages in Cornwall are 20% below the national average, this would mean the county's health authorities losing an enormous wodge of cash.

The logic of this 20% less wages so 20% less funding required theory was exposed as complete cobblers when it was revealed that all NHS salaries are on a national basis and so the NHS bods in Cornwall actually cost just as much to hire as their counterparts in the UK.

Elsewhere, the Health Monster [sic], John Reid, also made a surprise visit to Cornwall. Well, it was a surprise to us because he is in charge of the UK health service, we thought the more logical person to send would be the Minister for Third World Aid. Amongst other things he triumphantly announced the arrival, next January, of 20 Polish dentists.

Which means that there is now one dentist for every 8,500 people, which the local HealthWatch pressure group described in a masterclass of understatement as, 'better than nothing but only marginally'!

Lights! Camera! Inaction!

WAFS!

Cornwall's 'Hollywood' aka South West Film Studios at St. Agnes which has received a mere 2 million quids of Objective One money has just gone into receivership.

For those of you who paid attention to the earlier e-mail debates/comments concerning the appropriate use of Objective One money this is what my mean by:-

pissing away much needed funding on prestige projects that have no real benefit for the community as a whole

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

 
I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.