16 July 2004


Thought For The Week

My inshys ad dhyt, cha gooinee oo

[If they tell you, you will not remember]

The Crime Of The Ancient Mariner

Further conclusive proof that Darwin was wrong and humans haven't evolved into a sentient species ...

Artist and gallery owner (say no more) Gerrit Van Houbraken of Cardiff decided to create chaos and misery (see, he must be an artist) for the Falmouth Coastguard last weekend. He first called for assistance on Friday night after his boat ran out of fuel just off Land's End and he was unable to work the sail thingies. The Sennen lifeboat had to go out and search for him because he didn't know where he was. His boat was eventually towed into Newlyn at 3.15 on Saturday morning.

Refusing to take apparent total incompetence as a barrier to his nautical exploits Van Houbraken set off again from Newlyn on Sunday morning. Not long later he managed to run aground in mud and had to be towed off by a passing fishing boat. He then over-revved the engine causing it to smoke. Fortunately, the ever-resourceful sailor was in control of the situation. "There was a really big swell and I began to feel ill. And to make matters worse I stepped on my glasses so I couldn't see any of the instruments"!

Thus, was the Penlee lifeboat summoned to the aid of the stranded vessel off Gwennap Head and it was towed back into Newlyn for the second time in 48 hours. "I have been sailing for 30 years and I love boats: sometimes it just takes a bit of time to get used to a new one", quoth Captain Clueless.

Under Investigation Under Water

After a stop/start recovery operation hampered by the weather the wreck of the french trawler, Bugaled Breizh, has been raised off the Lizard where it sank in mysterious circumstances last January. The press were kept away from the wreck as it was brought back to Brest for a thorough investigation, however, witnesses who saw the wreck when it was initially brought into Falmouth claim that it two sizeable dents in the bow.

Suspicions that the trawler was the victim of a hit-and-sail incident with a container ship appear to have been nixed by the french investigators and the trawler made no reference to having been struck by a surface vessel in its distress calls. Some relatives (and conspiracy theorists) are now claiming that the boat was rammed by a submarine. However, the french navy have denied having any subs in the area and the Royal Navy have denied having any subs that work!

Objective Won?

Hurrah! Some good news on the O1 front. The post-nuclear apocalypse wasteland that is Redruth is to get a jobs boost following the extension of the Treleigh Industrial Estate funded by dosh from the South West RDA and the O1 programme.

The head of the SWRDA said that he hoped that as many as 270 new jobs could be created following the expansion of existing local companies and the arrival of a couple of national companies in the new facilities. This is a good thing (and will boost the number of employed people in Redruth to 275).

Bring us industry and commercial viable lives. Someone else more needy (Wolverhampton?) can have the next pile of tourist attractions.

Flood, Sweat, Toil And Tears

This week saw the unmasking of the two proposed civil engineering (oh come on, I've never known people who dig holes in roads to be civil!) projects to deal with St. Ives' flooding problem.

The plans were put on public display at the Guildhall this week and it appears to be down to the town to choose between them as both are projected to have the same cost and timescale.

One project proposes to expand the existing the existing Stennack culvert. The drawback with this would be that it would require an extensive upgrade on the existing drains thus meaning that the roads in the town centre would all have to be dug up.

The second project proposes to tunnel from the Stennack across town under the Windsor Hill area and onto Porthmeor. The drawback with this plan is that it would involve tunneling with explosives (potentially not a good idea given that St. Ives is full of holes) and the possibility of Porthmeor losing its Blue Flag status due to the outfall from the drain.

Anyhoo, no need to panic. The work isn't due to start until 2005 and, given the experience of the temporary bollards, you'll probably get closer to the real start date if you reverse those numbers!

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

 
I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.