16 August 2002


Moved To Tears (Part 2)

Well, we made it but only just. Typically it rained during the entirety of the move to the new lair. The Reporting Team were absolutely stuffed after a hard day lugging boxes up Barnoon and have been spending their free time cooling their feet/paws/hoofs in buckets of iced water.

The Reporting Team collapse exhausted after the great trek! team1.jpg (63018 bytes)

Unfortunately, any hopes that we might get a chance to catch our breath were dashed by the news that my younger sister is descending for a fortnight on Sunday, bringing her goblins with her. Faced with the prospect of fourteen days with a 6 and 3 year old the Reporting Team are already frantically looking for places to hide!

Urine Trouble Now!

At last, it's the opportunity you've been waiting for ... the ideal justification for piddling on small, skriking children!

We kid you not. An 11 year old boy was successfully treated after standing on a (poisonous) weaver fish at Land's End by the simple remedy of having his foot put in a bucket of tea.

Apparently, the best way to treat the sting is to treat the wound in warm water, according to a Coastguard, and, if you haven't got any tea, you can always use that substance you carry around in your bladder.

Them Or Us

Following on from the item reported on 26 July (Losing Our Patients With Tourists) the Royal Cornwall Hospitals trust issued a stark warning this week. The Trust is already owed £2m smackers by President Blair's poodles (aka the government) for treatment to visitors last year and the trust has now advised that unless they receive more funding they will be forced to start choosing between treatment for visitors or residents.

So, it's not just us who have got a problem with non-contributing emmets. That's real-life professional people who are saying that.

Given government and local government's attitudes towards Cornwall's indigenous population, expect the local mortality rate to rise sharply.

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