20 September 2002


Left Feeling Deflated

Guess what?

That mouldy old balloon thingy still hasn't gone up. Apparently the inflatanauts are still waiting for the 'weather window' they reckon they need to make their attempt on the altitude record.

Now, given that we have just enjoyed one of the best spells of weather all Summer and that it is now piddling down, we reckon that Satan will be skiing to work on the day that it finally gets off the ground!

Framed!

Controversial policeman, Brian Paddick, has been. It's official. The man who hit the front pages for leading the controversial 'softly softly' cannabis policy in Brixton and was subsequently hounded out of office by prudish allegations about his private life will be dropping into Lelant (For the benefit of non-regular visitors that's the road with a few houses on it just before Cardboard Bay!) next Monday to pick up a portrait made of him by local artist, Gerard Blakely.

The burning issue surely is whether Lelant (never in the news) will survive the culture shock of encountering Mr. Paddick (never out of it) and vice versa! Somebody should send a team of anthropologists to study the matter.

Open Art Surgery

On the subject of portraits and things of that ilk, glad to report that local legend, Hyman Segal is still very much with us. Even better, now the bucket and spade crowd have departed he has emerged from hiding and is having an expedition of his work at his Porthmeor Studio.

The Reporting Team intend to nip down and see if they can acquire a copy of his masterpiece 'Little Boy In A Rotten Hat', which graces the public bar of the Sloop. However, the expedition finishes tomorrow afternoon so if you aren't in St. Ives now, you are going to miss out. That'll learn you!

Tragedy At The Sloop!

Tragedy, of course, is a much misused word. We are not talking about some child falling under a combine harvester or the destruction of some major city. No, we are talking about a 'real' tragedy ..... no more Doom Bar!

Habitual frequenters of the Sloop will be familiar with that fine product from the Sharp's Brewery at Rock but sadly this classic Cornish ale has now been replaced by Tribute (which is a St. Austell, aka St. Awful, Breweries product). The Reporting Team will be despatching Vile Jelly to consume some to find out if it is fit for (sub)human consumption.

On the plus side, however, at least this means that we will no longer have to put up with emmets doing pathetic impressions of Private Fraser from Dad's Army every time they order a pint of Doom!

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