26 July 2002


Burning Issues

Well, WAFS! The St. Ives Fire Brigade spotted a teensy-weensy problemette when they were called out to a fire in Fish Street last Tuesday ..... they couldn't actually get to the fire because of traffic jams. Now, even the Reporting Team had spotted some time ago the potential problem for emergency services trying to get down the Wharf with it's amusing new anti-tank traps (aka the bollards). The Fire Brigade are so incensed that they have actually lodged an official complaint.

However, given that the access problems that the bollards were obviously going to cause when they were put in back in February we can only assume that the powers-that-be have already considered the issue and decided that they don't care.

The fools!

What they don't realise is that at this time of year any fire in Downlong is not going to bother the local St. Iveans much, it will be the councils' friends, the emmets, who will be going up in flames! So, we don't care.

Going Back To Nature?

Four members of the St. Ives Coastguard Rescue Team were called out to Burthallan Cliffs on Sunday after a bag of clothes was found there. An extensive search of the area was carried out but they didn't find any squishy bits at the bottom of the cliffs and they say that they do not think that 'anything untoward' has happened.

Apart from the fact that there appears to be a naked boy wandering around somewhere!

Not A Ghost Of A Chance

The St. Ives Operatic Society will be putting on a once a week new production at the Guildhall from August 22 for six weeks. As such, hardly newsworthy by Spooky St. Ives standards but the new production is going to be called 'Laying The Ghost'. We are dying to know how they are going to perform an act of procreation with a non-corporeal entity!

Losing Our Patients With Tourists

Yet another nail in the coffin of the supposition that visitors only bring benefits to our impoverished, third-world county. It has been revealed that the Cornwall NHS trusts are being bled to the tune of over £5 million smackers a year by visitors wanting medical treatment.

This at the same time as locals are having to mobilise resistance groups to prevent hospitals being closed down here (including round here) as cost-cutting rationalisations. Well, now there's an immediately obvious way of saving a pile of money, isn't there?

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