27 February 2004

Snow Laughing Matter

Honestly, what is it with you lot? We've got a dedicated team of cuddly people with their ears peeled and their eyes to the grapevine in St. Ives and still you don't believe a word we say. Are you weird or something?

Snow. St. Ives. In. It. Doesn't.

Rearrange these words to make a well-known phrase or saying.

Despite our attempts to convince you of this we are still receiving enquiries as to whether Satan is ice-skating to the Sloop today. Just because it is snowing in Bodmin does not mean it is snowing in St. Ives. For a start Bodmin is much nearer the Arctic Circle and secondly they are all strange there anyway.

So, to finally lay this base canard to rest and prove that Winwaloe speaks through forked buttocks we bring you extended highlights of yesterday and today via the Reporting Team's weathercam:-

The storm clouds gathered ... snow5.jpg (24673 bytes) ... and unleashed ... snow1.jpg (39731 bytes)
... the full fury of ... snow6.jpg (44738 bytes) ... a brief flurry of hail. snow3.jpg (93710 bytes)
Talking of Hayle, here we have a clear demonstration that it does snow elsewhere ... snow10.jpg (43089 bytes) ... while the sun shines on the righteous! snow11.jpg (51429 bytes)
The emergency services struggled to cope (with the boredom) as microns of icy sludge built up. snow9.jpg (75629 bytes) Meanwhile, at Jelly Towers the Reporting Team regretted their decision to heed Winwaloe's weather predictions and cancel their barbecue! snow13.jpg (78519 bytes)

So much for the Great St. Ives Snowstorm of 2004!

St. Ives Bay-Blade!

Fed up with being constantly accused of having a defective personality and knowing that the NHS would be as much use as a chocolate fireguard, I sought help via the internet and found it via this handy character self-testing facility.

You don't have to know anything about Beyblade (it's a manga-style cartoon), although if you do watch an odd episode you may finally begin to get an inkling of what primary school sprogs are blathering about (which may or may not be a good thing). All you have to do is answer a few simple multiple-choice questions (don't try and work out what half the answer options mean, just go with the flow). Then click on the Go button and it will reveal your true character.

As you can see from my result, it's disturbingly accurate ...

Tyson - You're loud and you're provoked easily.

Which Beyblade character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So, click on the link above to have a go and e-mail your result to us ... if you dare!

The Colossus Of Roads

St. Ives is in the grip of raging roadworks fever as Chapel Street, Market Place and The Wharf are being excavated for various reasons. Traffic flow is currently being sorted on the basis of best of two falls, two submissions or a knockout!

Doubting Thomas The Tank Engine

The St. Ives trainline is up for sale if you want it. (No, Winwaloe, you just stick to playing with your Hornby sets for the time-being!). Apparently, it is one of five branch lines throughout Britain to be testing a new 'Community Railways Initiative'. We're not quite sure what this initiative is exactly but on the basis we are usually the last to get anything good we are bracing ourselves for disaster and ruin.

Taking The Pitts?

Law and disorder continue to go their separate ways in St. Ives. The Police proudly unveiled figures showing that crime in January had nearly halved compared to last year's figures. However, when questioned by Town Councillor, Bob Ford, as to whether these figures might be because people had stopped bothering to report incidents to the Police, WPC Pitiful replied that this could be the case ..... 'especially pub brawls'.

Reminds me of the old joke; "Crime used to be a major problem here but isn't any more now that we've legalised it"!

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

I (thatís me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, itís nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.