30 April 2004

Thought For The Week

By vie lhiat jough?

[Would you like a drink?]

Will The Best Be Good Enough?

An outbreak of ungood news on the Skateboard Park front. At a meeting last Monday it emerged that both proposed sites for the much-demanded facility have been booted into touch. The site behind St. Ives railway station has been nixed as Snailtrack have said that they will require the site for their own development proposals for the branch-line. On top of that OSSKA have said that, having looked into it in some detail, it would seem that the site at St. Ives Rugger Club is too small for the purpose.

OSSKA chairbloke, Pete Williams, advised the meeting that they were now of the opinion that there were no suitable sites available within the town itself. Attention has now focused on the site at Palemon Best (behind the Fire Station in Penbeagle Land). The site already has an existing play area but there are a number of but(tock)s in the way.

St. Ives Town Council still has to get off theirs and have a meeting to allow a full discussion. They also want to liaise with PCANE (the Penbeagle Resis Ass). 'Twould be ironic if the Penbeagle resis were to bin the proposal as there are far more skateboarders living in that area than there are in Downlong where all the recent kerfuffle has been kicking off.

To cap it all, the existing play facilities at Palemon Best have previously been subject to attacks of vandalism. 'Twould be doubly ironic if the uncouth youth element were to burn down their own skateboarding facility ..... sort of a Kamikaze Viking funeral where you go to Valhalla by torching your own longship while you're still in it and breathing!

PS. Just to rub our noses in it, St. Mary's (pop. 1600) in the Scillies (total pop. 2000) just had its new skateboard park opened. As Mr. Lydon once famously observed, 'Ever get the feeling you've been had?'!

Beauty And The Best

St. Ives Town Council has promised to go ahead with an attempt to get the area of coastline from Clodgy to Porth Kidney declared an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty to try and fight unsympathetic property development.

The original plan had been to try and get the whole of St. Ives Bay AONB status in conjunction with Gwithian and Hayle Town Councils. However, Hayle and Gwithian subsequently pulled out from a joint venture at this stage, allegedly for fear that it might adversely affect the 'and on that day Satan will be ice-skating to work' redevelopment of Hayle Harbour.

We say 'Sod them, Hayle's a shithole anyway. Just look which way the ems are blowing. They are all standing with their backs to Hayle looking at St. Ives'.

Whipping The Crowd Into A Frenzy!

Mayday is upon us and, as in recent tradition, there will be much pagan jollity and frivolity going on around the burg on Monday. There will a triple-header showdown as Nancledra School's Cornish Dance Group, the First St. Ives Cubs & Guides and Kidz R U/S duke it out on the dancefloor in the greasy (may)pole contest.

Elsewhere local boys will be blowing on their pee-whips, while the girls make may sticks (and quite possibly bash the boys with them if they catch them playing with their pee-whips!). Local indignitaries and other undesirables will be poncing about town in a Mayday parade. There will be a harbourside market and free beer at the Sloop.

(Actually, the free beer at the Sloop is completely untrue but if you identify the right bar-twerp and tell them the Morris Man is paying for it you might just be able to con a few freebies out of them!).

Not that we would approve of such an act, of course. Spooky St. Ives is staunchly on the side of law and order. We say 'never do anything naughty like that'. We say 'be good model citizens like us'. We say 'trust us, we speak the truth'. We say 'fish are animals that live in trees and eat pencils'!

Call My Bluff

Well, you didn't, did you? So, I called my own.

You may recall just before the Great Photo Debacle that I got a tad miffed at being told what I could put on my own website and threatened to put my thesis on.

Acshually, there was a small back story to this in that I had recently found that my copy of the thesis (uni kept the original) was getting a bit crumbly and so I decided that, since I now had the technology, I'd convert it into a couple of more permanent formats before it perished beyond redemption. Having done that I thought 'sod it, I'll put the thing on any way. If nothing else it should keep Winwaloe subdued for a day or two!'.

So, if you follow this link (there's one on the homepage as well if you didn't spot it) you can get it in a Word format (if for some reason you can't decrypt Word I can e-mail you a PDF version. Plus there is a limited edition, bonus DVD featuring a completely deranged seminar 'presentation' I did at the time.

I have no idea how long they will take to up/download.


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