The Reporting Team's Christmas Mystery Play 2003

Volume VII

"Jus Draco Nobilis, Watson". Holmes continued expansively, "Commonly known as The Soup Dragon* [see below for the results of the latest research]. An extremely rare creature who can be persuaded to mine pure soup ore in exchange for gin and tonics. Now, let us calmly explore this new discovery."

"Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!" I remarked as sheer terror lent me the wings to levitate back up the mine shaft. The sheer terror that naturally and spontaneously occurs when confronted by a fiercesome, fire-breathing dragon who is more than moderately miffed to find that there is a human in her soup.

 "I said 'calmly'," Holmes complained. "What, pray, is calm about screaming 'aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!'?"

"Time to go and get a refill," said Soupie, whistling a cheerful clangering tune .....

..... "but what's this? There's an emmet in my soup mine" .....

The Soup Dragon at work in her St. Ives soup mine.
..... Raaaaaaaaargh! The Soup Dragon was not pleased to find a human in her soup.
"There, there, my dear. Did the nasty man frighten you?" Having seen off the intruder The Soup Dragon comforted her child.


Latest Bulletin from the Camborne School of Mines


In fact she should be called the Soup-Dragon because there aren't any soup-dragons living anywhere else. She lives inside the planet. She cooks soup in the volcanic wells that lie under the pointed chimney hills at the edge of the copper tree wood. She cooks red soup, green soup and sometimes even purply-blue soup.

The Clangers are her friends and are glad she is there because soup is their favourite food. In fact, apart from the blue-string pudding that grows on the roof, it is their only food. Luckily it has been calculated that there is enough soup in the wells to last the Clangers for another 7,384,497,003 years, if they are careful.

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