So, pursued by bad-tempered bovines, we emerge breathless on the road that goes through Towednack (8 on Map). At this point you can (obviously) go either left or right.

If you go left you will soon come to a small junction (9 on Map) where you can either follow the road to the left (which will eventually bring you back out on the old Penzance Road between Halsetown and Cripplesease) or follow the right turn (which will take you to Nancledra).

Contrariwise, we went the other way when we reached the road, which swiftly brings you to the heart of downtown Towednack, the church (10 on Map)! Just follow the road where you see the sign and the Eddie Hain pillars (see below). The church is only infrequently used by god-botherers but is normally open for casual inspection.

Right, so let's see what the Reporting Team were able to find out about the place. Luckily, a vicar happened to be passing by at the time. Quick as a blue hedgehog the Sonics legged him up and the Shauns stunned him with a swift hoof blow. Then, Orm did his good old 'coils of death' thing, while the Soup Dragon filled his newly constricted insides ... with soup. Fit to burst the ravaged reverend soon confessed all and Flat Eric took notes.

So, here is their 'ahem' perfectly legally acquired report:-

The current church (well, more of a micro-church, really) is the usual traditional bodge of several centuries of architecture. The nave and parts of the south wall are Norman and it is the only church in West Cornwall with a chancel arch, which dates from the late 13th or early 14th Century. The south aisle was built in 1460 and the tower in 1500.

Furniture-wise the church features a stone altar which is late Norman. It was originally chucked out during the Reformation but later re-discovered as part of a wall at Churchtown Farm. It was retrieved and restored in the 1930's. Their is a chancel seat on the north side of the altar which features a couple of carved bench ends, saved for posterity (and posteriors!). One bears the name Matthew Trenwith, Warden and the other James Trewhella, Warden with the date 1633. On the porch gate is a small sundial, dated 1720, which bears the rather lovely (and Scrabble-winning!) inscription 'Bright Sol and Luna Time and Tide both hold Chronodix Humbrale'. Ah, authentic Olde English gibberish, you just can't beat it!

Also, for anyone who can remember the good old days of steam-powered BBC TV programmes, the church was used for the wedding and burial scenes in Poldark.

The graveyard is full of interesting things (as is their wont). Apart from the frequent recurrence of family names, the graves also seem to cover the entire social spectrum. Now, what sort of burial would you like, sir?

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