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Helen Bristol 11 November 2002 17:56 Queen Vic [See Home Comforts]
Have you abdicated yet?
Off to a Body Shop party tonight. Can't decide whether to go for the Zeibarting or a paint job, or even valetting - no perhaps not. Don't want it
splashed all over the tabloids.
Not quite the same excitement as an AS party but might be a bit of fun.
Himself will be staying to cat-sit.
Vile Jelly 11 November 2002 18:43
Sounds intriguing Is it the Anita Roddick or the Burke & Hare sort of body
shop?
I had to cat-sit for the wrinklies recently while they sunned themselves
abroad. I was useless at it. They moved too fast for me to satisfactorily
deposit my posterior on them. However, my obvious inability to discipline them did
result in them leaving a few posterior deposits to greet my bleary-eyed
arrival to feed them shortly before starting a crack-of-dawn breakfast shift.
Now, you don't get the Reporting Team behaving like that, do you? OK, so they
are late coming back from the pub a lot of the time but they never make a mess
and feed themselves.
Helen Bristol 12 November 2002 18:02
Don't know what went on while I was out. Oh, Anita Roddick., by the way. Maybe
they had a boys night in. The cat was almost kittenish when I got back. As for
Andrew ...........well.
Only met 2 of the Reporting Team so far.
Vile Jelly 12 November 2002 22:04
The mind boggles ..... and the censors have a blue (pen) fit at the nature of
that boggling! I don't think I'll sleep easily tonight. Or, possibly, ever
again.
You can meet the rest of the Reporting Team if you want to (just remember to
bring them lots of tasty titbits). Where are you staying if you come down? If
you haven't got anything lined up the wrinklies might let you stay chez
Reporting Team at a vaguely reasonable price (mercenary so-and-sos but I
suppose it is their house I occupy a small corner of).
I'll leave you to resuscitate the cat, now, while I wait anxiously
curtain-twitching at the window waiting for the Team to get back from the
pub.
Helen Bristol 13 November 2002 15:09
Thanks for the generous offer, but we are staying with the clay slinger and
Janet (give us a twirl).
Yet again the Tornados are busy defending Harleston. Not much here to
protect though. Most of the Waveney valley is flooded but then that's
what a flood plain is for. Pity the planners don't understand that.
Probably did a different sort of geography at skool. (you see what spell check
comes up with for Harleston!)
Cat has regained his equilibrium.
Vile Jelly 13 November 2002 15:27
Oh dear, Trevor will probably think I am trying to pinch his customers! Never
mind, it was just a thought since you'd stayed elsewhere last time you were
down (forgot T&J were in Greece at the time).
Funny you should mention tornadoes defending your realm, they're busy ripping
St. Ives apart at the minute. Worst period of weather I can remember for quite
a while. When are you down 'cos it's a snorkel and flippers job here at the
minute. I'm just drying out after coming off shift and not looking forward to
getting soaked again when I go back on shift in an hour!
How did the cat regain its equilibrium? I thought after they'd made the
fateful trip to the vets that was it.
Helen Bristol 13 November 2002 16:41 Re: Water, water everywhere
Gracious no! Trevor wouldn't think that, but we are looking forward to the
comforts of their delightful home and cooking. I'm not a great one for
hotel life.
I'll remember to pack the snorkel and wellies. Don't mind the wet so long as
its warm - how unlike our own dear climate. Seriously considered forgoing the
shower this a.m. to just stand out in the garden with my bottle of shower gel,
saving water to save the planet. Neighbours might have complained
though. Garden fairly secluded (unless they lean out of windows) moreso when
the trees are in full leaf.
Taslovitch, for that is his name, had long lost his bits when we acquired
him. My neighbours very fluffy female cat flirts outrageously with
him, probably only because she knows she's safe. Perhaps THAT was why he was
so frisky when I got back with my new body the other night.
Vile Jelly 13 November 2002 21:23
Taslovitch? Now, there's a traditional East Anglian name. Or maybe from a bit
further east than anglia. Hope the americans don't find out or they might send
a few F18s to investigate with a few tons of high explosive ordnance.
How's the new body? Is it ready and prepared for the mind swap with Andrew?
What model did you go for? Colin Firth or Antonio Banderas? Have you arranged
for the council to take away Andrew's old bod once the transplant is
completed?
The establishment scientists called you mad, the fools, but you'll show them.
Bwahahaha!
Helen Bristol 14 November 2002 18:06
I heard the news today, oh boy - Tornados, Hurricanos and Waterspouts.
Heard St. Ives got flooded, made the Toady programme. I guess up the Stennack you were OK? Is the Sloop in danger of capsizing? Quick rescue all the Doom
Bar or Andrew will need sedatives.
The F18s already investigate our house. The Stealth Bomber might be quieter.
Taslovitch? I think he came from Norwich but might have been further east at
Happisburgh.
I'm more a George Clooney person myself, or possibly Sean Connery. Not
many other people make my toes curl! Can't really image either of them
with Andrew's mind. And what would I do with the mind of the body donor. Got
it, I could increase the average intelligence level of Lowestoft by
110%. The discarded bod would be recycled, don't want to be wasteful.
Not only them. It's all those years in psychiatric hospitals!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vile Jelly 14 November 2002 18:34
Still no Doom Bar at the Sloop (although the Campaign for Real Doom Bar, i.e.
moi, could be making progress). House has escaped the ravages of THE GREAT
FLOOD but, unfortunately, so did the Sloop kitchen so have been incarcerated
in the (soggy) slave pits today trying to cook food without a cooker.
Despite this (a la Hitler late 1944) the management insist on fighting on.
I've got to paddle my canoe down to the Sloop tomorrow to do breakfast and
lunch. Consequently like Noah, I am in a nark!
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