Andrew Macdonald
19 November 2002 09:37
Right of reply.
It is true to say that brassicas represent a clear and present danger to
civilised life in the twenty first century, and that those who will not or
cannot accept the threat they represent are deluding themselves and
placing themselves and their families in considerable danger. We
are not brassica obsessed, but, rather, a still, small voice trying to alert
the world to the peril that confronts it.
And if anybody else incinerates that we're from Lincolnshire, we'll sue their
sorry ass.
Vile Jelly
19 November 2002 16:38
Wouldn't that be a bit cruel on the donkey? I mean it hasn't actually done
anything to you and it's apologising anyway.
Oh well, it's up to you. I don't really care who you sue as long as you keep
up the struggles against the green forces of evil.
PS. I enclose the Reporting Team's latest oil painting. It is called 'St. Ives
By Gaslight'
Andrew Macdonald
20 November 2002 10:13
Blimey! That took a long time to download. I thought the internet must
have got into a tangle somewhere, then I saw the reason why.
I assume from the crepuscular picture that those nice people from Transco
haven't finished tumble drying all the gas and stuffing it back into the pipes
yet?
OK, we'll be nice to the donkey. We'll adopt the Spanish approach and
lob it off the nearest church tower. Fair enough?
Vile Jelly
20 November 2002 15:36
Apologies for the download time, I forgot to put the picture through the image
cruncher before I e-mailed it.
Sloop and Island Road got gas back on Sunday evening although I believe that
it is still cut off in some places. I presume the Emmet (sorry, Tourist) Board
is going to have to resort to some photographic jiggery-pokery for next year's
brochure pics of 'unspoilt' St. Ives as Transco have left virtually no cobble
unturned. You'd think the town had an infestation of giant gophers given the
number of holes about the place.
Leave the poor donkey alone. It's going to find it hard enough to make a
living in the Summer giving rides along Spain's beautiful black, slippery
beaches.
Andrew Macdonald
21 November 2002 17:29
Just a thought, but how the hell do you get a donkey to the top of a church
tower in the first place?
Vile Jelly
21 November 2002 17:45
By a simple act of faith .....
Or should that be an act of simple faith .....
Or possibly by using holy carrots.
PS. Talking of which, what's Quasimodo's favourite whisky? [Warning failure to
answer this naff old joke yourself could result in almost as an
unpleasant an experience as that caused by the 'joke' itself].
Andrew Macdonald
21 November 2002 18:12
I'd use the stairs meself.
Wouldn't be the Bells would it?
Vile Jelly
22 November 2002 07:03
Congratulations, you win a Spanish Donkey Chucking Holiday for two.
[Offer subject to terms and conditions. Offer must be taken up prior to
February 31st 1976].
Andrew Macdonald
22 November 2002 08:53
Oh, well. Still, it's more than Trevor's won in the Meat Draw lately.
Reporting Team
23 November 2002 08:43
VJ and Trevor won nuffink again last knight. All our
hopes are pinned on you and Helling for neckst Fryday. Main prize is a
fortnight in Linkingsheer and a lifetime's supply of brockly!
Gud news, tho, is Doom Bar shud be bak on at the
office (we mean, Sloop, hem hem) so you will be able to bye us all lashings of
beer (Soup Dragon will have a G & T). Bring lots of munny.
Bwahahaha!
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